To think that 1pm parties for 2yo are just wrong

[sometimesalways]

Ok I suspect this will prove controversial but I am genuinely at a loss here.

DS soon turns 2.5yo. He sleeps reasonably well, that is about 11 hours every night (7.30-6.30 or so) and 1.5hr on average for naps (usually 1-2.30). I thought this was pretty much the norm for his age group. I know he will drop the nap soon but he still does need it for now and he certainly did six months ago.

So the thing is we are often being invited to parties (a wonderful thing in itself of course!), for kids around his age and younger, which start at 1pm. Of course I always want to go as he has fun etc but how on earth do I fit the nap there? If I put him down earlier, it's too early and he won't fall asleep. If I try keeping him up, he just goes crazy as too tired to last till bedtime.

But my main question is, what routine do the parents who set the party at that time follow to make it work?? It seems to be happening a lot so I am starting to think that our nap might be the unusual one? I am genuinely asking as I don't understand and I don't want to ask them - don't want to seem ungrateful or rude as it's all people I like. I am just wondering what am I doing wrong

Does your 2.5yo do naps and when?

Mine would nap 3.30-4,30 ish at that age, every kid is different, so a 1pm party I would think was great

Mine napped until 3-4 years. At 2, I either had a 2yo/ baby nap combo or a 2yo/ 4yo combo.

I didn't live around their naps as they were a bit erratic and on a bad day they could tag team it over the whole afternoon.

Mornings were guarenteed to be hell though. DS1 was horrendous to dress and get ready (sadly his manual didn't state that he has a lot of sensory issues which have taken time to identify). Being out of the house before 10 was reserved solely for medical necessity.

Wake him up earlier on the party day ,tire him out by 11.30 ready to nap

My DD stopped napping a month after her 2nd birthday and when she was napping before then it was around midday-1ish.
Also if your 2.5 yo is younger in the ‘class’/nursery group they could be getting invitations to 3rd birthdays and I think 1pm is fine for them..::

Yep, agree, DD had long her lunchtime nap at (funnily enough) lunchtime, around 12-2, until she was about 2 3/4. Pretty normal amongst the toddlers I knew then. Certainly none had dropped naps by 2!

Equally, no-one I know did birthday parties for 2 year olds, they were just close family tea parties. I think DD’s 4th was the first party we had for her.

I have a 2.5 and naps that time but no problem we go or dont. Been to party starting that time today and a friend arrived late but everyone else just moved nap. Amazing party.

When planning my 3 year old's party I held it at 3pm as she was still napping. I agree with you OP. I guess each family is different but keeping to nap schedules was important to me as I don't enjoy dealing with a tired cranky child. Nap finally dropped around 3.5, which was led by me as it meant bedtime was past 9pm.

I'm with you OP. I've got a few friends who have done this, most of whom's 2 year olds still nap normally. Imho usually the party "for the child" is in reality for the adults, and the time is chosen based on wanting to be offering food at an adult meal time. Some children manage ok skipping or moving the nap, mine never has despite best efforts. Plenty of people view it that they will put up with bedtime tantrums due to tiredness rather than skip a party, im way too lazy for that.

Just let him go without a nap?! What's the big deal? It's presumably not every day

My dd is 2.5... she falls 12-2.30 so no idea what we would have done.
Skipping the party would have meant a car snooze on the way home maybe?
She loves her naps and sleeps 8-6 overnight.
Personally I wouldn't even plan an under 3 year old party between 12 and 3! That's universal nap time with all my friends!

Wow I don't know any kids who dropped naps at 2...DC1 stopped at 3 and many friends with similar aged children looked at me with pity when I said so.

We just skip those parties or attend for 30 min at start/end if they clash with naps.

Cultural difference. DS is at school in France where they start age 3.
They have lunch at 11.30am, play, then all the 2.5 yo ( who have started school early) to 4 year olds go for their nap at 1pm. Some sleep till 4 pm. There is a room with camp beds and the children bring their bedding and cuddly toys from home. It’s so cute!
Children stay up later in France though, bed about 8pm.

All the people saying "I wouldn't consider a 2 year olds nap times when deciding what time to have a party". It's a party for a 2 year old. What are you considering when deciding the timing then? If it's mostly the needs/wants of the adults, why not just have an adult party & call it that instead of calling it a childrens party . This is the part i don't understand.

I think it’s slightly odd timing (to me 1pm is when adults eat their lunch ) but for the sake of the occasional party it wouldn’t have bothered me but my DS was very flexible about napping, he’d usually have a nap morning & afternoon & whatever the timings were didn’t affect 7pm bedtime. In fact he would get home from playschool around 1pm, nap most of the afternoon & still be happily in bed at 7pm, on a few occasions he actually slept through for over 18 hours .

Sometimes I wish my 23mo DS still consistently napped...

But when he doesn't, he does (mostly) go to bed like a dream. When he does nap (usually starts between 2/3, and usually a few hours - maybe once every couple of weeks, if that) he wakes up grumpy and struggles with bedtime.

Tbh, even the kids I know of a similar age have fairly different nap/mealtime/bedtime routines anyway, which makes it tricky organising much. You just have to arrange around your own for this sort of thing and hope for the best!

Wow I don't know any kids who dropped naps at 2

I don’t know many kids who napped past 2! My friend who had a napping 3 year old was certainly the exception rather than the norm in my circle.
Mine dropped theirs at 20 months but did sleep 7-7 from then (and have ever since) so I think 12 hours sleep is the amount they needed.
I was glad when they dropped their naps, it meant we didn’t have to plan our day around nap times!

Both my sons slept from 10-12 between when they were that age. (starting at 1 and (for the older, don't know about the younger yet) stopped when he was 3.5 years old)

I agree with op and thought a 1pm nap was standard for this age group, it's what I do, most of my friends do, 2 local nursery's do...

All mine had dropped naps by that point so parties at 1pm were no problem for most of us.

So even for those whose children have dropped naps that early, isn't the post lunch time a bit of quiet/down time?

Even though DC1 has dropped a nap I wouldn't book her next birthday party at 1 PM.

isn't the post lunch time a bit of quiet/down time?

Well it depends what we’re doing. If we’re out and about (or at a party!) then no. If we’re at home then they might have half an hour quiet time. They can manage fine without prescribed quiet time.

DD1 had long dropped naps by 2.5.
DD2 is 2 and still napping, but naps at 11 for 1-2 hours.
Either would have been able to attend a 1pm party. Every child is different though and naps/doesn’t nap at different times. Can’t please everyone!

I think all 2 year olds are different. if they do nap they don't all nap at 1pm and of course not all 2 year olds nap.

Most two-year-olds I know still nap too. Mine is 2,5 and couldn't cope without his 2-hour nap in the afternoon. Although he did have two long naps until he was around 18 months old so he's probably just into his sleep (although he was a terrible sleeper for the first year of his life, I must add! This is probably why I'm hesitant to mess with his naps.). I wouldn't be keen on a 1pm start as I found that most toddlers I know are at their best in the mornings, but I suppose I could occasionally try to make it for 1pm and then leave after about an hour. Or stay and see how he gets on without his nap, but from experience I know that no-one has a good time when he's desperate for sleep.

Either way, it's up to the organiser though as it's their party!

My 2.5 year old either naps around 11 or in the afternoon around 2, so a 1pm party would be perfect for us. We have never been ridged about schedules though.