To think that 1pm parties for 2yo are just wrong

[sometimesalways]

Ok I suspect this will prove controversial but I am genuinely at a loss here.

DS soon turns 2.5yo. He sleeps reasonably well, that is about 11 hours every night (7.30-6.30 or so) and 1.5hr on average for naps (usually 1-2.30). I thought this was pretty much the norm for his age group. I know he will drop the nap soon but he still does need it for now and he certainly did six months ago.

So the thing is we are often being invited to parties (a wonderful thing in itself of course!), for kids around his age and younger, which start at 1pm. Of course I always want to go as he has fun etc but how on earth do I fit the nap there? If I put him down earlier, it's too early and he won't fall asleep. If I try keeping him up, he just goes crazy as too tired to last till bedtime.

But my main question is, what routine do the parents who set the party at that time follow to make it work?? It seems to be happening a lot so I am starting to think that our nap might be the unusual one? I am genuinely asking as I don't understand and I don't want to ask them - don't want to seem ungrateful or rude as it's all people I like. I am just wondering what am I doing wrong

Does your 2.5yo do naps and when?

Both of my kids had given up on naps by 2.5. YABU.

You are not being unreasonable. Even if your child didn't nap why would you put a party on immediately after/during lunch? That is v weird. Mine napped through preschool and the 12-2 nap was more sporadic but definitely still there - the idea of going to a party at 1 no way. I would just say sorry we can come later but otherwise no.

To be honest parties for 2 year olds are not for the kids they're for the parents. I look back and think why why did I put myself through stress doing these things sometimes. If you're not going to enjoy it don't go.

I too am very interested in the research you mentioned @octonoughtcake. My newly 4 year old will nap every day that he can get away with it.
In regards to OP's conundrum, I would aim for the nap to be en route to the party, so either walk there with a nap in the buggy, or plan to drive 'the long way' so that the nap is in the car. My littlest never objected to being woken early from a nap to attend a party.

Please share the research @octonoughtcake all of my nurseries offered naps to age 3.5

When my 3rd baby was born, my older two (3y7m and 2y5m) would still quite often have a nap after lunch - all three would nap at the same time . DC1&2 dropped their naps at the same time, just before 4 & 3.

DC3 - I had to make him drop his nap soon after he was 2 or else he wouldn't go to bed until 11pm!

DC4&5 are now almost 3 and 20 months and both nap 1.5-2 hours after lunch every day.

But, I have always had to be quite flexible about naps because life can't stop for them, younger children have to be woken for school runs etc. So I would be happy to skip/change naps for a party if we wanted to go.

Both mine had dropped naps by 1.5 unless they had been up in the night unwell. So 1pm was an ideal party time- time to enjoy themselves, come home, wind down, tea, bath and bed. Fab.

Everyone is going to have a different schedule - you can't please everyone. A 10am party would be a pain for us, as my toddler doesn't do getting up very well, but an early evening party would be ideal. Except that most of her friends would be over tired and needing bed, and she would be fine.

They've clearly picked a time thats convenient for them. If you can make it work, great, if not then decline.

All my children had stopped napping when they turned 2. It's one day, you can change your routine a little.

My eldest dropped her nap at 2.5 and my youngest has just turned 2 and will go without a nap sometimes but is flexible and will nap from about 10.30 to about 1pm depending on what we're doing that day. They're all different.

All of my children napped up until 3 or
4 but we were flexible and never had set nap times. Worked better for us because it meant we were never trapped in the house or decline invitations or outings because of a nap.

YANBU. Also wondered this myself. DD is three in a couple of weeks and still has a nap most days but only an hour and it is starting to affect bedtime so think it needs to be dropped soon. I am now quite flexible with her not napping on days if needs be. However she doesn't nap at nursery (hasn't done for a while) and pretty much 99% of the time falls asleep in the car on way home and is then a hysterical niggmaire when we wake her up.

However at 2-2.5 she definitely still needed a nap and agree that after lunch is pretty much the standard time as it's the middle of the day?! Most nurseries have the same routine of lunch at 11.30/12 then put all the toddlers down for a nap (or quiet time if they don't nap).

I think from this some children are more flexible than others. Amongst friends it was mostly accepted naps were after lunch so a party would have been 10 am or 2.30 earliest in the afternoon, preferably 3.

My dd turned into a complete mess if I strayed from her routine but by 2.5 I would have tried to take her to the party and go home when it got too much. Maybe stay an hour / hour and a half.

My son seemed to require no sleep at all when he was that age 😡

Bloody 13yo does nothing BUT nap. 1pm event would be scheduled as a ‘breakfast meeting’...

And for those saying why would you want to restrict yourself to staying in for an hour and half each day..why would you not want an hour and half break each day from the chaos of life with a toddler?! Even if not to sit down with a cuppa, just to tidy up/prepare dinner/anything else to make the rest of the day easier..

My 3 DC all napped for two hours (12.30 - 14.30) until they were almost 4. It suited me and it suited them. However, if on the odd occasion they skipped a nap for a party or other event, it was fine and we just went back to the routine the next day. They never went to bed before 8pm though, often later.

I think if he sleeps 11 hrs a night he can easily miss a nap to go to a party. The sky won't fall in if 'the routine' varies.

Hahahahahahahaha. Good one.

OP My eldest stopped napping before 2 but would occasionally nod off en route for 10 mins if required. My middle DC 3yo still naps for 2 hours every day. Preferably in her bed. I'm at a farm right now and she's out cold in a pushchair and has been since 1pm. The sky would most certainly fall in if we woke her.

I'd skip a 1pm party tbh.

Recent research suggests children should drop their nap at 2 years old

That research was largely discredited.
Notmorewashing you asked for evidence of the research, I do remember seeing something years ago but it was late proven to be unreliable
www.nhs.uk/news/pregnancy-and-child/impact-of-daytime-naps-on-childrens-sleep-quality-uncertain/

The excitement of a party may stop them from napping

The odd day out of routine will do no harm

Surprised by the number of people saying their DC dropped naps by 2. My DS is 3.2 and is only just beginning to show signs of dropping his. He’s just started skipping it occasionally, but will then definitely need it for the next few days. We did start restricting him to an hour though, since last summer. He’d sleep 2-3 if we let him, but then bedtime would be a nightmare.

Party wise, all our invites have been 11-1 or 12-2 which is ok for still having the nap afterwards. I wouldn’t be thrilled with a 1pm party either.

Mine naps 10am- 11.30am (sleeps 7pm-6am) so would be perfect timing for us

Totally get you. My dd 2 naps 1-3.Asleep now

She can cope with a later one but by 2 shattered and would sleep happily in buggy car etc on way home

Most of her friends sleep 1-3 ish. Odd one 11-1 but that’s as up at 4/5am most mornings .........

Her party I did last month was 1130/130

So kids got to hall. Played. Lunch 12 ish and cake 1 then play till 130 or left after 1 to go to bed - either was fine

But we have many invites 1-2 start. Which is a silly time as 1 is late for a 2yr toddler lunch

And if 2-4 then tea is early and hungry later at home
6ish

My DC didn’t nap at that age as far as I can remember. Sometimes they would crash out if it had been a particularly busy day but I’m sure I’d dropped the routine afternoon nap by that point.

And yes don’t mind a later nap once in a while but to not be able to nap till 2/3 after being awake 730am is a very long time and the child gets grumpy and foul mood as they are tired. Not their fault

So I’m happy for routine to be broken for a day - or if out for the day to sleep in a buggy car etc

But not fair on the child If can’t sleep when tired

Mine sometimes naps, sometimes not. It depends how early she got up and how active the day has been. If we had a 1pm party I’d probably forgo the nap and go with it even if she was tired, it would probably mean an early bedtime. But we are pretty laidback and don’t follow ‘routine’ like some.