To think that 1pm parties for 2yo are just wrong

[sometimesalways]

Ok I suspect this will prove controversial but I am genuinely at a loss here.

DS soon turns 2.5yo. He sleeps reasonably well, that is about 11 hours every night (7.30-6.30 or so) and 1.5hr on average for naps (usually 1-2.30). I thought this was pretty much the norm for his age group. I know he will drop the nap soon but he still does need it for now and he certainly did six months ago.

So the thing is we are often being invited to parties (a wonderful thing in itself of course!), for kids around his age and younger, which start at 1pm. Of course I always want to go as he has fun etc but how on earth do I fit the nap there? If I put him down earlier, it's too early and he won't fall asleep. If I try keeping him up, he just goes crazy as too tired to last till bedtime.

But my main question is, what routine do the parents who set the party at that time follow to make it work?? It seems to be happening a lot so I am starting to think that our nap might be the unusual one? I am genuinely asking as I don't understand and I don't want to ask them - don't want to seem ungrateful or rude as it's all people I like. I am just wondering what am I doing wrong

Does your 2.5yo do naps and when?

It’s still a rubbish time for us. My little one (and the others at nursery) go down at 1. That is the same for most of our friends with children the same age.

I hear you OP!! My DS has just turned 2 and is clockwork 1-3. I can get somewhere just after 1 with him asleep in the buggy and if he’s had 40 mins he’ll be ok. We have a party for a 1 year old and 1 next month and I also don’t get it!!
Either morning or 3pm would be perfect

Many people are flexible and if their 2yo still naps they will just let them have an early/late/no nap that day. It wouldn't cross my mind to consider nap times of 2yo's when arranging a party. Are people really that ridged?

My 2.5 DS doesn’t have a set nap time. If he’s tired he’ll fall asleep at whatever time, other days he’ll not have any naps. Certainly don’t arrange our day around a nap time.

My 2.5 year old sleeps 7:30ish to 6:30ish every night and naps every day from 1 till 3. He would sleep later if let but nightmare to go to bed if he did.

My just turned 3 year old naps 1-3. I know a lot of her friends have stopped napping but at 2 I think that is a pretty normal nap time. We have normally been invited to parties starting at 2/2.30. It's easier then to do an earlier and shorter nap. Otherwise she arrives at the party grumpy, which is no fun for anyone.

It’s not ideal timing but most 2.5 year olds can either plough through without or have given it up so i’d Just roll with it. They’ll be busy at the party and thus forget to be cranky

Most of the two year olds I know still nap at some point during the day.

I think the key here though is that at 2 it is probably getting a bit more optional and flexible for most if them, so e.g I like my 2 year old to have a nap straight after lunch normally so she's not a grumpy nightmare by teatime, but if we had a party she would miss the nap but possibly fall asleep in the car on the way home. Which would be fine, and all part of them learning to be adaptable and resilient to different routines and circumstances.

I think its completely unreasonable of them to not write to all the attendees and perform a survey of nap times, thereby calculating the precise time the party should be held.

I wouldn't ever speak to them again.

I think if he sleeps 11 hrs a night he can easily miss a nap to go to a party. The sky won't fall in if 'the routine' varies.
Not everyone is rigid and let their kids nap as needed.

Mine always napped 12:30/1 to 2:30/3-ish - up until the age of 3, if not a bit later (eldest DC definitely dropped her nap around 3.5).

We ended up getting into that routine as it worked best with morning activities/ preschool for us. I do remember losing contact with some people I knew who would do morning naps and then meet for lunch, whereas others would do morning meet ups, then nap afterwards.

@ChairmanMeow999
That's exactly what should be done, the inconsiderate sods 😂😂

If you can’t manage it then decline the invitation. Mine dropped their nap at the age so it was fine.

I don't think there is a set napping pattern for 2-year-olds. DD2 had completely dropped her nap before age 2, DD1 still napped at 4, but was flexible (and coped perfectly well without once she started school).

You can always decline if the timing is bad for you, but in general lunchtime parties work pretty well for this age group.

It’s not unusual to still nap at that age - both my kids did. I would decline, but that’s purely because it’s no fun wrangling a crying, kicking, over-tired toddler. If I had had the type of child who would have had fun at a nap time party, and just caught up on sleep later, I’d have been happy to go.

Some of mine still napped at 2.5, but I would just let them have a quick nap in the car/buggy on the way there to be honest. Or if they didn't nap before they'd nap on the way home.

Usually my 1 & 2 year olds nap 12/12.30-2/2.30, but today we were out so they fell asleep in the buggy at 1.30. It's fine.

You don't need to be a slave to nap time at that age, it just makes your life harder.

My DS stopped napping just before he turned 2. He’s nearly 2 and a half now. If he’s really tired like if we’ve been busy or out a lot during the day, he may drop off on the car for a bit but most days he’s alright until bedtime.

Kids vary hugely at this age, they have to do what works for the birthday child. My eldest napped untill she was 5, usually around 3pm. My youngest dropped naps age 16 months So tne time in the OP would have been perfect for both my kids.

I think every child is different. If the party times don’t suit your child decline the invitation and explain to the mother why. They will understand.

Mine never napped at 2 ish. When we were down to two naps it was 11 ish then 4 ish.

Whatever time someone else picks at this age will be inconvenient for someone

All mine had stopped napping apart from long car journeys by 2yrs.

Mine didn’t nap at that age.

I've got a 22 month old and 3 year old, neither have ever napped at that time, that's lunch time in our house. It's the 10am ones that are more annoying for our routine, my 22 month old will nap at 9/10am as he's up so early.

You can't suit everyone. We still go to early parties, they nap later, it's no big deal.

My DS had stopped napping by 2.5 and for a long time before than had been able to go for an occasional day without a nap. Can you just not give him a nap and then do early bedtime?

YABU. My dd certainly wasn't napping at age 2. You have a choice. Either go or decline if it doesn't suit your lifestyle.