AIBU to ask if you wash before sex?

[Notsureofopinions]

This is the kind of question one can only ask Mumsnet 🙈

DP is a shower/bath 3 or 4 times a week person whilst I am a every day at least once person. I like to be clean before sex and am quite grossed out at thought of sex (especially oral) with someone who hasn’t washed for a while. This causes issues between us as DP gets upset I don’t want or initiate sex but I feel DP should make more effort for me - and when DP doesn’t shower for 2/3/4 days they can’t complain if I don’t want sex. I’m curious to know if I am weird compared to others?

I wouldn’t wash before sex, no. Me and DH wash every day though.

Nope, you aren’t being weird. I’d find him really unhygienic and not very considerate.

Nope totally agree!!

Yes I like myself and partner to be clean, your DP sounds quite dirty to only wash 4 times a week?

I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone who didn’t wash once a day.

You joined Mumsnet just to ask this?

Jesus that is grim. Out of respect for himself and you he needs to have a shower before sex.

Are you the lady off the episode of "Sex Tape" on channel 4 last night?

If I feel like I need to. If I have been at work I'll have a wash before bed any way.

I agree with you.

I wouldn't expect someone to especially wash for sex, but I would expect them to wash every day as standard.

We tend to have sex in the morning so won't have washed beforehand. We both wash each day though

I wouldn't want to be naked in bed myself or with anyone who hasnt showered first, plus the rate i gt UTI's, nothing unwashed is touching me.

I wash every day too and if I know I’m going to be having sex that day, I always make sure I wash before sex

Shower at least once a day but if it’s hot twice a day is normal.

Not unless I have been doing somethubg especially sweaty but I shower/bathe regularly and if I think its on the cards I would quickky wipe the area with a flannel.

If he showered every day I'd say YABU, but he's grim.

I wouldn’t be able to live with someone who didn’t wash every day, let alone sleep or have sex with them!

LTB
That is gross.

I have a saying, “a morning shower doth not a bedtime blowjob make”.

So yes, both shower at bedtime unless we’ve agreed beforehand we’re too tired for anything more than a cheeky handy.

Ergh that's disgusting. I really wouldn't want sex with him if he only showered a few days. Who would want to suck on a cheesy bollock?

If it's just a quickie no. If it's a full on show with mouth going near other orifices then yes. 😁 Just a quick shower suffices. It gets sweaty and other stuff down there during the day🤷‍♀️

Well, you know what Napoleon used to tell Josephine...

I do, actually. If I'm in the mood I'll nip in to the bathroom to have a quick rinse on my undercarriage before I proceed with my irresistible seduction. This basically stops me feeling self conscious when he goes down in me so it's for my enjoyment really.

I don't actually expect the same from him but DP naturally washes every day anyway.

I the past I have most definitely had to remind a partner to wash more frequently because it was write off putting. It actually put me off so much I ltb.

Maybe initiate showers together? Can be fun...

I think it's only polite to have a courtesy wash.