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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask if you wash before sex?

102 replies

Notsureofopinions · 04/05/2019 22:38

This is the kind of question one can only ask Mumsnet 🙈

DP is a shower/bath 3 or 4 times a week person whilst I am a every day at least once person. I like to be clean before sex and am quite grossed out at thought of sex (especially oral) with someone who hasn’t washed for a while. This causes issues between us as DP gets upset I don’t want or initiate sex but I feel DP should make more effort for me - and when DP doesn’t shower for 2/3/4 days they can’t complain if I don’t want sex. I’m curious to know if I am weird compared to others?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 04/05/2019 23:25

I shower every day, as does my husband. You partner sounds foul. Makes me shudder at the thought of having sex with such a manky twat.

TrixieFranklin · 04/05/2019 23:26

Pits, Tits and Hairy Bits need at least a quick wash before a shag

Laodamia · 04/05/2019 23:29

I'm in agreement, frenchonion. Total passion killer!

But as this is MN I feel like there should be a Venn diagram showing if there's a correlation between those who wash towels after each use and those who wash before any sexual contact Grin

dreaming174 · 04/05/2019 23:50

Your DP doesn't shower every day? Gross.

2LitreBottle · 04/05/2019 23:54

Is it a case of some kissing, groping, shower for her, shower for him, meet back in 15? It all seems a bit sterile.

No it’s a case of go upstairs, brush teeth, shower, get into bed, kiss, cuddle, have sex.

If things happen earlier in the evening then we take it as it comes, but the preference for both is a shower first so that we can confidently do anything we fancy.

2LitreBottle · 04/05/2019 23:57

Another favourite saying I have... “there’s no pheromones in knob cheese”

I’m all for day-old armpits, and even balls, but I’m not putting anything in my mouth unless it’s had a proper wash on this calendar day!

RagingWhoreBag · 04/05/2019 23:58

Love how PigletJohn’s contribution is DIY related Grin

PigletJohn · 04/05/2019 23:59

With a partner is preferable.

butterflywings37 · 05/05/2019 00:06

A wash is just as sufficient as a shower or bath.

So if no wash, shower or bath then gross.

But if they have a daily wash but only shower/bath 3-4 times a week then that's fine IMO as they are being clean daily

Whoops75 · 05/05/2019 00:08

Dh has before and after penis beakers Grin

Willowkoko · 05/05/2019 00:09

There’s no excuse not to have 2 minute shower or wash each day. Basic respect.

RagingWhoreBag · 05/05/2019 00:24

With a partner is preferable.
Grin

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 05/05/2019 00:25

It’s not about excuses willow as it isn’t mandatory to scrub a body prior to sex
If it’s your preference that’s ok,but doesn't fall under remit if excuses
Sometimes Spontaneity means you just get jiggy with it

OldAndWornOut · 05/05/2019 00:27

Depends.
I've had a couple of partners who preferred me not to wash. Smile

Chocolate35 · 05/05/2019 00:39

If we’ve been to the toilet since our shower we wash before sex, it’s just common courtesy to me. I don’t want to touch him dirty and I definitely won’t let him touch me. It doesn’t kill spontaneity, it takes 3 minutes to wash which is about the time it takes me to slip into something a bit less comfortable 😜

1forAll74 · 05/05/2019 01:08

Well, its all very lovely,to be clean and fresh before a night, day,or evening of passion,,but sometimes,the urgency of sex and passion just takes over, and there is just no time for the super clean and fresh fragrance of what has gone before. !!

Ihatehashtags · 05/05/2019 01:12

What everyone else has said. If it’s a quickie, then no. But otherwise yes definitely and I always shower once a day at least. Why is he so unhygienic?

stceddsastal · 05/05/2019 01:13

I wouldn't be with someone who didn't wash once a day.

Fluggers · 05/05/2019 01:19

@PigletJohn you are my favourite poster. Ever

Also I shower every morning and evening so I'm all good..DP does the same

OldAndWornOut · 05/05/2019 01:22

Well, I'm quite partial to the smell of a human man, rather than chemically made whiffs.

Thismummyruns · 05/05/2019 01:34

I certainly wouldn't be giving oral sex on a 4 day work willy Shock

StuckInsideAnEcho · 05/05/2019 01:45

One of my turn ons is freshly cleaned peoples anyways. My partner has to be reminded to shower. He doesn't shower before work, and has to be reminded a million times when he's home. I've shown him why it grosses me out so much. He's a bigger guy, and despite his being obese he was severely morbidly obese a few years ago and has flaps... Some of the ewwww I've found in those flaps where he hasn't washed properly.... That's when he bothers to wash at all puke. We have sex once a month if that. Not how I imagined spending the rest of my life, but meh

VladmirsPoutine · 05/05/2019 01:54

Showering before sex or after sex is really neither here nor there. The issue is that of a mouldy stinky knob that hasn't seen a wash in 4 days encrusted with sweat and urine. Far from even considering sex; I wouldn't even sleep in the same bed.

TheSerenDipitY · 05/05/2019 05:30

my husband is normally covered in cow shit and stinks likes he been cuddling the cows all day long... so yes showers are a must

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