To think most patterns on clothes look awful?

[ThatSnailOnYourFrontStep]

... or is it just me?

I feel like I've had a revelation. I've just decluttered about 3/4 of my wardrobe. Almost everything had some bloody pattern on it. Flamingos, giant flowers, watermelons. Not tiny little patterns either, big fuck off peonies the size of your head, parading right across my boobs. I have kept one or two patterned items- a summer dress with some very small, subtle flowers and trousers with a slight check. I can live with those, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt a bit foolish. I'm a sturdy size 12 with wide shoulders, I have kids, a mortgage and a job where people are meant to listen to me, yet I apparently think flamingos belong on shirts.

So then, with plans for a capsule wardrobe in mind, I went online and had a look for some plain basics. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. If it didn't have the giant flowers or flamingos, it had mad awful stripes, or, even worse, random frills and flounces tacked on.

I don't know if it's my age (almost thirty) or if I'm just hopelesy out of date, but AIBU to think it's all a bit much? Nothing seems like a cut or a shape anymore - it's as if they've covered a heap of chiffon or cotton with a gaudy pattern to distract from it.

I hate when you see a nice item of clothing then realise there's a dreadful applique thing on it. I think poor quality is much more obvious on plain clothes so manufacturers like to jazz it up to detract from that.

Yes, that fake stuck on lace is particularly horrible.

So many things have a very high neck too - not a collar, just like they've gone straight across the shoulders and stuck a hole where the neck should be.

I'd love to know where to get fairly good quality basics!

I agree with you OP, although I do like patterned PJs.

The cynic in me thinks it’s to keep you buying new stuff as patterns date!

Yeh i never wear patterns. Havent for 12 years

I think it sounds like you've been going for the wrong sort of pattern op!

H&m have some fab, neutral plain basics. I know this as I spent £150 there today doing exactly the same. Emptying out all my bright garish patterns ready for the new stylish me

H&M have some nice tops that are fairly plain with no outlandish prints on.
Also have you had a look at the ‘style and beauty’ board on here? Might be some helpful posts on there.

In my 20s I loved things with a kitsch print like kittens or lipsticks etc. Now I actively avoid that kind of thing*. Just doesn't appeal anymore. And looking at photos of people whose style I admire I rarely see a pattern.

*Special dispensation for the odd stripe, or check, or bit of leopard print.

Patterns do tend to date clothes very quickly. I do like simple spots or Breton type stripes, but I'm not really a fan of anything else.

I do hate random features that ruin clothes. Cold shoulders on what would be a lovely jumper, stuck on frills or the random one that I've seen lots in Next, of putting laces on the sides. I do wonder if shops do it now as a tactic to make people buy new every season.

I could be going for the wrong sort of patterns, problem is I don't know if there's a right one!

I read somewhere that the French aren't as mad keen on patterns as we are here, and everyone knows they are dead stylish

Ruffles and frills too....I'm not fat, but I'm built for picking turnips, sadly. Complete peasant. I can't do frou frou

I must have a look at H&M, we moved miles away from the one I used to go into quite a lot, and their sizing was often a bit weird, which put me off ordering online.

Some patterns are lovely, a nice gingham, or a seersucker stripe for example.

Flamingos and watermelon, not so much.

I agree totally OP. I went into Sainsbury's earlier to try and pick up a few summer bits. Patterns everywhere. Couldn't find a single thing I even remotely liked 🙄

I do hate random features that ruin clothes. Cold shoulders on what would be a lovely jumper, stuck on frills or the random one that I've seen lots in Next, of putting laces on the sides.

Or a lovely dress with a big hole in the back or a very deep v back.

There was but a smattering of birds and fruit. It was mostly florals

I also hate patterns too, OP. Don’t mind a Breton stripe or a bit of check (I sense a theme here) but patterns do not suit me. I tend to stick to plain but good quality well fitted basics that are in my colours. I had a wardrobe cull over 12 months ago and it was a revelation. I now have a neat wardrobe and everything matches everything else.

I wear mostly plain clothes, but have a few bits in more classic patterns, gingham, Breton stripes, leopard print and delicate florals. You do have to hunt though. I'd never buy anything with watermelons or flamingos on it! My pet hate is butterfly patterns, so twee. Some people obviously love them though, I saw an adult woman today wearing a tunic covered in Bambi characters

I quite like patterns, though maybe the more subtle ones. I got a lovely dress with strawberries on it recently, but they are a small print.

Most of my clothes are plain
Occasional stripes or small print patterns
Try uniqlo
I buy a lot of things in tkmaxx, jaeger, jigsaw and hobbs

I’m the same age as you OP, and I’ve been struggling with this for a while now. I like to wear clothes rather than have them wear me, so all these hideous patterns, flounces, Lacey bits, randomly chopped out bits etc. just don’t appeal. I wear the same crap for years until it begs for mercy as I just can’t find anything in the shops worth buying.

H&M do a basics range that I usually love. Haven't looked in a while but worth a shout! I'm definitely a "grey/black/plain" kind of person, with the occasional smattering of colour.

Can I put slogans in this category as well.
I wear a lot of checks and strips . I have one Hawaiian shirt for fancy dress. I have a few of dresses with flowers on which I wear occasionally

H n M have some lovely midi dresses with v small print, and a super jumpsuit which looks better in real life than in the photo www2.hm.com/en_us/productpage.0718370001.html

@Seren I HATE cut out backs on dresses. They really only look right on extremely slender women