To think most patterns on clothes look awful?

[ThatSnailOnYourFrontStep]

... or is it just me?

I feel like I've had a revelation. I've just decluttered about 3/4 of my wardrobe. Almost everything had some bloody pattern on it. Flamingos, giant flowers, watermelons. Not tiny little patterns either, big fuck off peonies the size of your head, parading right across my boobs. I have kept one or two patterned items- a summer dress with some very small, subtle flowers and trousers with a slight check. I can live with those, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt a bit foolish. I'm a sturdy size 12 with wide shoulders, I have kids, a mortgage and a job where people are meant to listen to me, yet I apparently think flamingos belong on shirts.

So then, with plans for a capsule wardrobe in mind, I went online and had a look for some plain basics. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. If it didn't have the giant flowers or flamingos, it had mad awful stripes, or, even worse, random frills and flounces tacked on.

I don't know if it's my age (almost thirty) or if I'm just hopelesy out of date, but AIBU to think it's all a bit much? Nothing seems like a cut or a shape anymore - it's as if they've covered a heap of chiffon or cotton with a gaudy pattern to distract from it.

Not always.

www.viviennewestwood.com/en/women/clothing/dresses/grand-fond-dress-multicolor-print-S26CT0638S49702002S.html?cgid=women-clothing-dresses#page=2&start=26

I agree. Plain is just nicer. I have a couple of florals and stripes, but grown adults in slogan tees lust looks wrong imo.

I do love a jazzy sock though. You can happily have flamingos and watermelons on them. As long as it's a matching pair, I'm not a monster!

I like pattern and plain,but they have to be good quality. The high street patterns esp summer holiday clothing are just cheap and tacky, but there are some very high quality patterned clothes that are stunning.

I hate prints prefer plain tbh

I agree plain is classier but dull. So so dull. It’s the ultimate in clone dressing.
The trick to patterns is to not follow trends. No flamingos, owls, big florals.
Unfortunately for me I do think we have a pattern backlash at the same time I have got old so a lot of my wardrobe is due to look very dated.

I quite like stripes and subtle patterns. The small daisy prints are nice.

I quite liked bird prints or some florals I'm good quality makes such as Hobbs or Fenwright which were for special events.

I like Lace as well

I also wear plain fabrics a lot of the time.

I

Big, bright, clashing, or cartoony, not so much.

I have a lot of floral and bird patterned stuff that I still like. All on black/navy/neutral background and the pattern in muted colours in natural looking designs though.

Going to clear out my too bright too short too boxy Cath Kidston though. That is very dated. I've been meaning to for ages.

Thanks for the threadly kick up the arse.

Oh god, I've been guilty of Cath Kidston too. I remember back in about 2006 there was a trend to wear it ironically with biker jackets and chunky boots. I was a student at the time, and thought this was a fab look. Then I just sort of stayed there, and before I knew it, over a decade passes and I just look like I'm running the church bake stall...

It's leopard print or stripes. Everything else can go to fuck.
Plus I have sleeve tattoos so patterns just make me look like Pat Butcher's decor.

I never wore mine ironically. Just with a cardigan and pearls of course. I was running the church bake stall AND judging you severely

Must sort out my cardigans too...

I tried on a Cath Kidston skirt in our local dress agency recently. It had a pattern of cowboys and cactii, as I remember, and was incredibly boxy in shape. I looked like a small quirky sofa.

I've got a flamingo shirt from Hobbs. My favourite way to wear it is with black biker skinnies from Mint Velvet and wedge sandals from Fly or Moshulu.

I thought I looked ok. Obviously frumpier than I thought :(

I think it's about choosing colours that suit you as much as patterns. I suit warm colours and a bit of pattern if broken up by cardigan/leggings/pinafore etc. My friend has clear skin, long dark sleek hair and dark eyes, she looks great in busy all over patterns like a jumpsuit and can pull off colours that make me look sallow or faded. I think you need really clear skin to pull off pattern near your face.

A lady at toddler group is really into adult DUNS (very busy bright patterns eg dresses with repetitive maple leaves/berries/mushrooms)! She has bleached hair, tattoos and wears the dresses with chunky boots. Very trendy around here but the whole effect is a bit psychadelic and overwhelming, and not at all flattering imo.

I also think slim hipped/small boobed women can pull off patterns more easily, as the pattern doesn't stretch over certain areas. I have a small waist but wide hips and shoulders so the patterns never sit right unless it's a smock!

I've seen those adult Duns,they're dreadful. Why someone would want to be dressed like their four year old is beyond me.

I am a huge fan of a striped top but that's it. Everything else is plain adding pops of colour with jewellery etc.

Sainsbury's are particularly paterntastic at the moment. The clothes I wore as a child in the 80's in adult sizes!

I was happier too when I realised I was simply the wrong body shape for floral of any type
No boobs, no waist, no hips. Shoulders wider than hips. Size 8.
Only wear my patterned shirts for work as not so flattering as plain but can't bear wastefulness of getting rid of them all

I love a print but i am very fussy. First LOVE the print you choose. As an ex goth its fun for me ti play with prints but i always combine with black or denim! This is my wardrobe- lots of prints i love that i pare down with black tights, jeans, work trouser, dresses and overshirts and jumpers.