To think most patterns on clothes look awful?

[ThatSnailOnYourFrontStep]

... or is it just me?

I feel like I've had a revelation. I've just decluttered about 3/4 of my wardrobe. Almost everything had some bloody pattern on it. Flamingos, giant flowers, watermelons. Not tiny little patterns either, big fuck off peonies the size of your head, parading right across my boobs. I have kept one or two patterned items- a summer dress with some very small, subtle flowers and trousers with a slight check. I can live with those, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt a bit foolish. I'm a sturdy size 12 with wide shoulders, I have kids, a mortgage and a job where people are meant to listen to me, yet I apparently think flamingos belong on shirts.

So then, with plans for a capsule wardrobe in mind, I went online and had a look for some plain basics. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. If it didn't have the giant flowers or flamingos, it had mad awful stripes, or, even worse, random frills and flounces tacked on.

I don't know if it's my age (almost thirty) or if I'm just hopelesy out of date, but AIBU to think it's all a bit much? Nothing seems like a cut or a shape anymore - it's as if they've covered a heap of chiffon or cotton with a gaudy pattern to distract from it.

Yes I'm a plain person. Patterns date, it's a conspiracy so that they date and we have to keep buying new clothes!

LOL at leopard print being described as "subtle, classic."

I am with you OP, can't bear loud patterns, went out to Bluewater with cash to burn on new stuff for work as I have lost weight, encountered a sea of vile patterns, and bought nothing. Wallis was entirely polyester animal print WTF.

I need to get some more nice plain clothes. Just simple quality things but don't know where to go. Been looking in shops recently and hardly seen anything decent. I have been looking for a dress to wear for a wedding soon, looked at very, Debenhams etc etc and not seen anything I like. Most are just ridiculous or too skimpy round the top and I need support for my boobs after having 2 kids or I will just look terrible. Surely after spending hours looking at dresses I should have seen a couple that are suitable but no.

I like patterned tunics, with leggings and cardigan in one of the colours of the pattern. I think that looks more stylish than a plain tunic, and more flattering as solid colours don't hide anything!

I dislike patterned trousers as they look like pjs. Also hate patterned skirts (too dated) and avoid twee polka dots/bird prints etc.

I like patterns that are abstract, like the Mint Velvet ones that are sort of ombré and could be interpreted as tree branches/spider webs/random paint splashes.

Not a fan of ditsy florals, stripes or anything frumpy.

Really not intending to be rude but Mint Velvet is the epitome of frump.

I like a nice pattern - no animals or food involved. They can be way more flattering esp when carrying a few (lots) of extra pounds.

YY to less patterns and those stupid flamenco-dancer frills that are tacked on to every M&S garment. I lost lots of weight so have just benched loads of stuff from my wardrobe and bought plain basics in block colours (darks and brights). I look so much better and no more horror of ”oh I want to wear this patterned thing but I have nothing plain to go with it, so I will look like a demented toddler”. Now any patterned bits I have left can shine.

I like patterns. I hate flouncy bits, cold shoulders, weird bell sleeves. I think patterns are OK limited to one item in a simple shape, paired with plain items.

I have mostly plain clothes. But I do have a few striped and dotted tops.
I also have a few striped and dotted scarves.

I have less than a handful of floral patterned tops, but the ones I do I really like!

I have no patterned dresses or trousers/skirts at all.

I think patterned dresses are hardest to wear as at least with patterned tops you can mix and match with the bottoms and can have a range of different outfits. I would become tired of wearing the same patterned dress over and over again.

Really not intending to be rude but Mint Velvet is the epitome of frump

Some of their clothes are frumpy but not all. I have some lovely tshirts and silk panelled dresses from MV. I like the way they use texture and hues/fade/smudginess to add interest rather than pattern.

To me frumpiness is the sort of thing my high school teachers wore; long skirts, dots, stripes, busy floral prints and blouses.

* streaks through thread in favourite watermelon shirt*

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Some patterns can be lovely it is the colour combinations that make them dreadful.
Having said that I am not a fan of animal prints or things decked in moons, stars, tea cups, cats etc.
Furthermore we live in northern Europe, so anything that would look good in the tropics or hot, sunny places, tends to appear rather garish.

I can’t stop wearing patterns and have flamingoes, florals, hot air balloons and palm trees galore in my wardrobe but I did just buy a plain cornflower blue dress for work in M&S of all places and I can’t get over how nice it looks. I wore it with a plain sand-coloured jacket with a tiny cornflower brooch and felt like I was dressed as a grown up for once! So I can see the appeal.

I had this revelation a few weeks ago and got rid of so many clothes! Garish, clashing colours also seem to be my weakness (neon green butterfly patterned dress anyone!?)

It’s hard to find nicely cut, plain-but-not-boring clothes!

You hardly ever see classy French, Spanish or Italian ladies wearing patterns. Just simply cut beautifully plain clothing 😉

Can I put slogans in this category as well

Absolutely! And I cannot stand ‘brand names’ plastered all over clothes either!

I like patterns but I've always thought big patterns were screaming at me, always shied away from them!

It's a pity pattern can't be used a bit more sparingly. I sometimes think that a pattern would be nice near the edges of the sleeves or neck but leaving the bulk of the garment pattern-free but you hardly EVER see that.

MintVelvet is not frumpy, their clothes are basics. It's the way you put stuff together. Their shoes are lovely, and their trousers are good. I've bought fewer tops there but have a few pairs of jeans from there and they're good and not frumpy at all.

I had a similar realisation about 8 years ago when I realised most of my clothes had a bloody bird pattern on! I decided to stick to only spots or stripes after that and was much happier. Every now and then I fall off the wagon and something with lobsters or pineapples jumps into my hand but I'm getting much better at resisting especially as I'm "shopping my wardrobe" these days and not buying new.

I do love small patterns (never large floral, flamingo, watermelon or garish). Small patterns suit me and hide greasy kid finger prints that are tricky to wash out!

But I am slowly embracing some plains (Cos has been good). Yy to whoever up thread said a nice bit of subtle pattern on a cuff etc. I'd go for that.

Loathe Breton tops though. I avoid white (see aforementioned grubby fingered kids) and a stripe like that doesn't suit me.

Paisley!

We all have definitions of frump. Mint Velvet fits mine perfectly. Sorry.

Mint Velvet does nice basics. Their biker skinnies are very flattering and I like their linen jumpers and sheer shirts. Some of the floaty tops are a bit 'let's cover those bingo wings' but that's what they are for.

It's about where you shop, I swear. Expensive places like White Company are al neutral and tend to be quite classic. The busier patterns and artificial fabrics are often in the cheaper shops.