To think most patterns on clothes look awful?

[ThatSnailOnYourFrontStep]

... or is it just me?

I feel like I've had a revelation. I've just decluttered about 3/4 of my wardrobe. Almost everything had some bloody pattern on it. Flamingos, giant flowers, watermelons. Not tiny little patterns either, big fuck off peonies the size of your head, parading right across my boobs. I have kept one or two patterned items- a summer dress with some very small, subtle flowers and trousers with a slight check. I can live with those, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt a bit foolish. I'm a sturdy size 12 with wide shoulders, I have kids, a mortgage and a job where people are meant to listen to me, yet I apparently think flamingos belong on shirts.

So then, with plans for a capsule wardrobe in mind, I went online and had a look for some plain basics. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack. If it didn't have the giant flowers or flamingos, it had mad awful stripes, or, even worse, random frills and flounces tacked on.

I don't know if it's my age (almost thirty) or if I'm just hopelesy out of date, but AIBU to think it's all a bit much? Nothing seems like a cut or a shape anymore - it's as if they've covered a heap of chiffon or cotton with a gaudy pattern to distract from it.

I look like someone’s Grandma in anything with any kind of pattern - except spots or stripes which are just about ok. My wardrobe has been mostly plain colours since I moved out of my Animal print phrase 🦓🦒🐅🐆 (I was young...)

I hate florals. They seem like a good idea at the time, then a week later you realise that what you thought was a pretty skirt looks like shower curtains. I have one or two items with spots or stripes or a textured pattern, but the majority of my clothes are plain and simple (and black) No frills, ribbons or ruffles either. Clothes shopping has always been a nightmare for me.

"VioletCharlotte

I agree totally OP. I went into Sainsbury's earlier to try and pick up a few summer bits. Patterns everywhere. Couldn't find a single thing I even remotely liked 🙄"

Yes! Sainsburys is always jazzy pattern overload, as is Wallis.

Spots and stripes yes, leopard print definitely, water melons and flamingos never. Can’t see the problem with boat necks, I love them. Pattern is all over the catwalks so it’s not going anywhere any time soon.

I love a floral pattern

I have a flamingo shirt🙊 it was a moment of madness and I know it’s a bit naff but the colours suit me. It is surprising really as other than that it is all plain with the odd stripes and spots.

You need to shop at Cos. Beautiful fabrics. Well cut. Few patterns. Total winner.

Stripes, small polka dots/or dobby spots or a bit of leopard print is as about as pattered as I go, and not ‘crazy stripes’ think a nice Bretton style top or shirt. Think you’re looking in the wrong places potentially. If you want good quality stylish basics and some subtle classic patterns (I.e leopard print or stripes) try the following;

Mint Velvet
Margaret Howell
Selected Femme
Hush
Whistles
Zara
Boden for Bretons and nice polka dot shirts - step away from the patterned sh*te tho
Reiss
John Lewis own brands
Hobbs

I like a ditsy print but other than that I hate patterns, I think there very aging especially when they’re very lairy colours.

Oooh also Cos and White Company, White Company has been a revelation to me in recent years, never really looked at their clothes but in the past few years I’ve had some lovely basics from there, they also do nice none Granny cardis.

Yanbu, although I do like a striped top.

Sea salt do nice patterns. Most of them are designed by artists so it makes sense. But plain clothes can just be a bit easier to wear. But they do have to be good quality. Try Uniqlo for plain but cheap stuff

Florals are really in this season I believe.

However now I’m old (nearly 36) I’ve concluded I need to wear plainer stuff and over the last couple of weeks I’ve chucked loads of stuff out my wardrobe with patterns and replaced with plain things from oasis, warehouse, Karen Millen and a couple of other places. They’ve been more expensive but I’m hoping they won’t date as they are plain.
I’ve lost a load of weight as well so anything bigger than an 8 was massive on me. I used this opportunity to basically get rid of all the vile things I owned!

Oh yes. Mint velvet. They’re good too.

My personal style is 'Grown up 5 year old' so I do like a nice fun pattern and bold colours and simple shapes. But even so, I think you have to be careful about the specific choice of pattern and a LOT of clothes are made from ugly or inappropriate prints that are the wrong scale or colour or design for the garments.

Ha, I'm getting adverts for Mint Velvet now! I'll have a look at some of these!

Most of my clothes are plain, but I am OK with some stripes and not in yer face abstract patterns. There seem to be lots of spotty summer weight linens and cottons about recently, so I've bought a couple of tops.

I have —millions of— a few patterned maxi dresses for high summer, which are mostly tribal, tie dye and a few floral...I’m hanging on to them. I've over-dyed some of them, to make the effect more subtle; others are unashamedly lairy.
It depends on where I’m going, festivals and hippy camps seem to require pattern and colour; work, garden parties and pub, I revert to the usual plain linens.

I was walking behind two Matalan employees last week, one was showing the other one what to do. She said “normally we arrange things so you have a patterned thing next to a plain thing, but this year it’s horrendous, patterned things everywhere” and I looked round & wow, she was right. Just a sea of mad patterns. So you may have trouble finding plain stuff as florals seem to be huge this year.

I love a pattern. I have tummy that sticks out and boobs that are huge so I find a small busy pattern hides them pretty well, otherwise I just feel really self conscious. Plus I am messy and a pattern is more forgiving if I drop food / coffee down myself

But I do pick patterns carefully, I go for ditsy/ small type h and m patterns. Not a huge fan of large flowers or flamingos etc.

The most print in my wardrobe is a paisley scarf but even that is just 1 colour in two shades.

I have some nice plain Hobbs work clothes. (They do more patterns than they used to, but the plain is still good)

YANBU. 99% of patterns on the high street are fugly. I tremendously when ditsy print floral dresses came in about 15 years ago, and lots of beautiful young women were wearing them, and the "granny's curtains" fabrics just served to emphasise how young and beautiful they were in comparison.

And now they're everywhere and it feels like there's no escape

Tremendously = remember

I don’t usually like print near my face but I’ve got a few items that don’t tick this box, an animal print top and some summery dresses.
I think it really depends on the print itself then the print relative to the size of the garment. Smaller items look best with a smaller print imo.

I love a big, bold garish pattern. But then I’d never describe myself as being chic or stylish .

Uniqlo is my go-to for basics, although I do have quite a lot of H&M as well, due to its proximity to my office!