to think it very weird that elderly parents

[IrishGal21]

still refer to adult child's room by name of child when referring to that room even after they have left 20 or more years earlier???

Ie. Bob's bedroom

My mother (and several of her local friends & acquaintances) still refers to one of the car parks in town as Willy Lows. Lows hasn't even existed for about 20yrs & the building is now a Lidl having been occupied by various other supermarkets in between.

Weirdly she would say she was going to Lidl when referencing groceries, but would suggest meeting at WL car park if we both had different errands to run in town. So it's almost like it has a navigational name. Maybe that's why I now refer to the kids sleeping in "Granny's room" when we are at my parents house, despite the fact that the Granny in question died long before they were born

I think it's quite sweet

We have a small room off our living room that is still known as the 'gaming room' because the DCs used to have their Xbox etc set up in there when they were younger. They've long since relocated gaming stuff to their bedrooms and the gaming room is now where I do the ironing!

What about husbands and wives who call each other by title and surname, rather than first name? "But we can't afford it, Mrs Cratchit." I gather that people of a certain generation did this, is that weird?

Not weird at all.

You will probably think we are weird because we have a cupboard which is called "the cupboard under the stairs" even though we live in a bungalow! It has all the same stuff in it that was in the cupboard under actual stairs in our old house (which we left 7 years ago).

My daughters left home between 87 and 1994 and every bedroom is referred to by their name. Even they do it. The exception is the downstairs bedroom.

Not at all weird.

At my grandparents house though the bedrooms acquired a second round of names when I was a child staying there often and these have now stuck. So 'Bob's bedroom' became 'Uncle Bob's bedroom' despite him not sleeping in it for years before I was even born and 'Annie's room' (my mum's room) became 'Stillinbed's room.' My grandad now sleeps in that room and I haven't stayed there for years but both my grandparents still refer to it as 'your room' when they are talking to me or 'Stillinbed's room' when talking to anyone else. I will always refer to it as 'my room' and never 'Grandad's room' and it would cause mayhem if we tried to change the bedroom names now as nobody would actually know which bedroom we were taking about!

Perfectly normal and lovely. I think even when my child gets their own mortgage and we redecorate their room we’ll still call it hers, even if it’s now an office/ laundry/ yoga studio!

Not weird. It would be weirder to go to the effort of changing what you call the room. Its not like the name of a room is that important, other than being able to communicate with other people which room you mean, so it makes sense to just stick to what everyone is used to calling it.

Ha. My parents are totally weird about this.

We moved in the late 80s, & dB & I fought tooth & claw for the lovely big attic bedroom. I won, because I was a couple of years older & it was agreed he'd get it when I went off to uni 3 years later.

He barely managed to wave me off - he was too busy painting his new room black & hanging his Warhammer & Iron Maiden posters . Fair enough!

He then remained in there for over a decade until my dps finally changed the locks persuaded him to move into a flat share. Dps, with indecent haste, sold up & retired to a smaller place in the countryside before dB could change his mind...

Fast forward 20 years & I'm divorced, living overseas, & when I do visit the U.K. it's for a couple of weeks - I spend a bit of it with dps but travel a lot to catch up with friends, & always insist I could get an Airbnb anyway (they won't hear of this).

So after a year of this I returned for a visit to discover that dps had...taken their nicer spare room, dug out a box of my teenage crap from the attic & basically recreated my teenage bedroom! My A level textbooks are on a bookshelf. My teddy is on the bed. My framed Maggie & Ron Gone With The Wind CND poster is on the wall.

I'm nearly 50 .

Db is because now when he visits them with his dw & the dns they're all squished into the inferior spare room or on blow up beds in the dining room!

I've said there's no need for this but it's fallen on deaf ears. 'No no Purple! That is your bedroom now!'

Not weird at all

@PurpleCrowbar

That is utterly weird. To do that in a new home, and to not let anyone use it.?

I would be embarrassed and it sends a really shitty message to your brother, too.

I would be embarrassed and it sends a really shitty message to your brother, too

It’s not Purple’s fault though is it?!

My parents moved into what had been my room after I left home. The bedrooms are now just described as 'front and 'back' as any attempt to describe by ownership is too confusing.

You're weird for saying that

You'd have hated my Grannie's house then! My grandfather's bed was made up by him the morning he died (sudden heart attack) and it stayed that way until my grannie died 25 years later.

They had separate beds their whole marriage, and his was untouched from the day he died.

Even when I lived there after my grannie went into a home, and had friends to stay, nobody used their bedroom. Ever.

My late mother didn’t, the cold, cold bitch. . As soon as I got my admittedly-well-past-time ass out of her home, she had the decorators in to convert my old room into a dining room.

It was thereafter forever referred to as the dining room.

It’s not Purple’s fault though is it?!

I’m sure she’s tried real hard to not have this symbol of No 1, favourite child. Her whole post comes across as gloaty.

My grandfather's bed was made up by him the morning he died
That’s a totally different situation.

My old room at the very top of my parent's house still has the same decor and furniture and is known as "Blue's Room". I moved out in the late 90's! I don't think it's odd. Many parents find their house too big after their children have gone and don't redecorate - unless they want to use it for something else or guests. It's pretty common.

Db is confusedhmmbecause now when he visits them with his dw & the dns they're all squished into the inferior spare room or on blow up beds in the dining room!

I've said there's no need for this but it's fallen on deaf ears. 'No no Purple! That is your bedroom now!

I tend to agree with @Yabbers. Not hard to see who the favoured child is in this scenario. Can’t be pleasant for the brother.

I think it’s weird. My old room gets called the spare room as that’s what it is now

You are talking about your MIL house and your partners bedroom, aren't you?

My dad redecorated my room into his office before I had even left home. I bet as I was getting on the plane he was putting my bed in storage and spinning around on his computer chair.

The first time I went back to visit, my mum picked me up at the airport and took me to a local b and b to drop off my stuff before going 'home'. So...no, it's not referred to as my room. My parents are mean

I’m sure she’s tried real hard to not have this symbol of No 1, favourite child. Her whole post comes across as gloaty.

It doesn't seem at all gloating to me; merely written in the spirit of the thread, with humour.

Where is your evidence that Purple hasn't tried really hard to alter the situation? Do you often accuse people of being unpleasant people with little or no evidence?

Blimey!

Both dB & I find it highly comical rather than shitty, @Yabbers !

Mostly because we're in complete agreement that he has always been Golden Boy...

I think they just think I must be lonely & sad when I visit them (my dc with their dad at this point; I quite enjoy the rest tbh) & that I'll be cheered up somehow by looking at my Helix Hedgehog pen holder from 1985.

Sorry I came across as gloaty. Can assure you no dB was harmed, or his family - dns rather like camping in the dining room by all accounts.

But yes it's crackers, the whole thing.