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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think it very weird that elderly parents

133 replies

IrishGal21 · 04/05/2019 18:08

still refer to adult child's room by name of child when referring to that room even after they have left 20 or more years earlier???

Ie. Bob's bedroom

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/05/2019 18:33

It’s just habit - I have found that, as I have got older, habits become harder to break - if I have spent years referring to a room as ds1’s room, it is very hard to break at habit - and I would rather spend that mental energy on stuff that matters more.

anothernotherone · 04/05/2019 18:33

My parents still live in the house we all lived together in while I was at secondary school, but my room no longer exists, they've turned it into their ensuite, which of course is completely fine and a good use of the space given they love the house like more than one of their own children... However I do find it slightly odd that my sister's room, like Edwinchester 's is untouched as she left it... Are you my sister? Please explain yourself... Wink

On refering to the rooms by previous occupant's name I assume it is convenience and habit not deification...

RaffertyFair · 04/05/2019 18:34

Are you the youngest Ed (clutching at straws for a possible explanation..)

woodhill · 04/05/2019 18:34

My dms old house still has a name plaque with my name on.

I left in 1991.

I think it's normal

FurrySlipperBoots · 04/05/2019 18:35

Why would it be weird? In my family we all stay in our old bedrooms when we're together with our parents for Christmas/Easter etc. Nobody else stays in them so they're still 'our' rooms.

mumofBeth · 04/05/2019 18:36

I was a bit gutted when 'my' room became known as my DD's room since it's the one she uses when she stays over 😂

RaffertyFair · 04/05/2019 18:36

Sometimes the adjective "old" gets inserted e.g. It's in Rafferty's old room" Does that make it less weird OP?

Ohyesiam · 04/05/2019 18:36

But if they didn’t they’d have to think
Of another way of referring to it, for no real reason.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/05/2019 18:38

I will freely admit that it is weird that one of our bedrooms is referred to as the cat’s room! Blush

It is really the spare room, but he always sleeps in there.

Poppyinafieldofdreams · 04/05/2019 18:39

A child is a child for life and not just for Xmas.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 04/05/2019 18:40

Not at all weird.

EdWinchester · 04/05/2019 18:40

RaffertyFair , I am the youngest of 4. And 14 years between eldest and youngest!

Original poster
IrishGal21 · 04/05/2019 18:43

The parents in question still have original posters up from when the adult child was a teenager in the 90s........nothing has been replaced

OP posts:
UCOinanOCG · 04/05/2019 18:43

Surely thats normal? I have been married 34 years now and my old room in my DP's house is still referred to as UCO's room. My DD1 doesn't live at home now and her old room is still called DD1's room. It is just a way to distinguish between rooms.

RavenLG · 04/05/2019 18:44

The day i moved out aged 18 she got rid of my bed and turned the room into her own sewing/bits and bobs room
DP's mum did that to him when he moved in with me too. She said I can never send him back as there is no where for him Grin

My parents still call it my room too. I've not lived there for 8 years. Still my room though, we visit every few months and stay over. Other relatives have stayed over and addressed it as my room too lol.

RavenLG · 04/05/2019 18:45

The parents in question still have original posters up from when the adult child was a teenager in the 90s........nothing has been replaced

Probably just not sure what to do with them or don't want to decorate. There is various frames up in my room at my parents house, definitely not their taste but just don't see the need to redecorate.

RainbowMum11 · 04/05/2019 18:46

Conversely, I have a small guest room that will always be 'Grandmas room' (myDM) even though she only needed to stay with us a handful of times!!

BackforGood · 04/05/2019 18:46

Okay, so your second post is asking a different question - is it weird not to have decorated since the child moved out 25 years ago ?

Well, it seems a long time to not decorate a room, yes.

However, it isn't weird that it is still referred to as 'Bob's room' or whatever, unless you are related to Prince, and wanted to call it "The room that was formerly occupied by Bob" ? Wink

CloserIAm2Fine · 04/05/2019 18:47

I find it weird when my mum calls my old bedroom “the front bedroom”. I think maybe because my sister had it for a while after I moved out? And her partner moved in after we’d both left home so to him it’s just a bedroom.

Original poster
IrishGal21 · 04/05/2019 18:47

I get calling a room by so and so name and changing it up but keeping it as a shrine like edwincester's and not replacing anything or changing the decor is what I meant to ask if people thought odd ..it is like the room is frozen in time....

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 04/05/2019 18:47

I think it's weird that you think it's weird - agree!

I”ll think about looking at the posters in about 10 years Grin

BertrandRussell · 04/05/2019 18:47

Seems perfectly normal to me. I assume my children will still sleep in their old rooms whenever they visit.

RaffertyFair · 04/05/2019 18:48

The parents in question still have original posters up from when the adult child was a teenager in the 90s........ nothing has been replaced

Well IrishGal21 that's different to referring to the room.

Maybe you know EdWinchester's parents Grin

SingingTunelessly · 04/05/2019 18:48

Not weird at all just a way of knowing what room we’re referrring to. DS left pictures on his wall and we won’t remove them until we decide to revamp the house in readiness to sell. Not a shrine just “DS room” .

acomingin · 04/05/2019 18:48

We have several bedrooms, the names of former occupants is how we refer to them when talking about them. They've all bee redecorated a few times since they left home.

Not weird at all. Weird that you think it's weird.