to think it very weird that elderly parents

[IrishGal21]

still refer to adult child's room by name of child when referring to that room even after they have left 20 or more years earlier???

Ie. Bob's bedroom

My dd redecorated her room after her first year at university. It’s still her room.

Lol I still call my old bedroom in my DMs house My bedroom!

Perfectly normal IME

My old room at my parents house would be referred to as 'Shagged's room' even though I left home 26 years ago!

Its easier than saying the room to the right when you get to the top of the stairs

I'm surprised edwinchester hasn't volunteered to clear out all the old crap from her room! Do you think your parents might be seeing you as a bit of a CF not clearing up after yourself, but haven't got the energy to do it if they don't urgently need to?

No weird at all.

ALSO.......the adult child hasn't cleared out their stuff, it has just been left behind for decades lol guess that is normal too people dont always take everything with them

MIL still calls her two spare rooms [DH]s room and [BIL]s room despite them moving out in the 80’s and actually always sharing the room she refers to as DHs room.

We haven’t got round to redecorating DS old bedroom yet but it doesn’t mean it’s a shrine, it just means we haven’t got round to doing it.

Sorry, Irishgal- I think Mumsnet is on your mil’s side on this one!!

I do make sure dd leaves her room clean and tidy in case I need an extra guest room, though.

The spare room in my parent's house has been called Grandma's room for 40 years, she died 10 years ago. The room which was mine is no longer called London's room though!

I suppose leaving the room untouched could be treating it as a shrine, or it could be laziness or inertia or indifference and no longer having the energy to redecorate a room they never use... Whether it's weird depends which, and also how often the adult offspring visit overnight.

I can't imagine leaving the room untouched because either you use the room (including using it when your adult offspring visit if they live far enough away to stay over, or have it ready for them if they're in a young adult life phase / bad relationship/ shaky career which means they might need to move in with you again), or for grandchildren or as a guest room or repurpose it or you downsize, it's such a collosal waste otherwise... However lots of people don't think k like that at all and live in a box of memories essentially.

Ha. I still refer to my shed as ‘grandpa’s shed’.
He died in 1999. But it was his.

Contemptuous tone of OP's posts - not nice.

Not weird to refer to room as Bob's room.

And as for not redecorating it, well, hardly a shrine to dear Bob, just not being bothered todo a spare room!

I still refer to my children's rooms as Fred's bedroom or Meg's bedroom even though they have left home, it's my way of them knowing that they will always have a bedroom here if they need to come home. I'd do the same if I moved house as well, not that I am planning to.

I never cleared all of my old stuff out of my room at my parents house, though I didn't leave anything very important to me behind.

My parents did clear it gradually themselves once they had retired. I think it did take a while before they could face doing it.

The furniture and the bed are still the same though, and it is still referred to as my room.

If these parents have kept even the posters on the wall the same then maybe they just hark back to the past. I actually don't even know whether the posters are still on the walls of my old bedroom. I'll look next time I am visiting them.

Do most people rush to decorate their spare rooms, ours look presentable and they are mostly used for my overflow wardrobes and shoes or storing stuff, if DS comes to stay, I clear him a space

Nope, not weird at all.

My DPs also give directions around their large village / small town by saying things like 'it's opposite where Woolworths was' or, more likely, something that went 40 years ago.

I don't think referring to it as so and so's room is odd - I can see us doing that.

But keeping it exactly as it was is weird. I think my parents have done this through inertia rather than anything else. It's not a room that gets used or that they might need as they have a 5 bed house. Even their 3 cats don't darken the door.

In my husbands old house which his parents have lived in since 69, they still have rooms and chairs called by the names of friends that loved there for a while.
Not weird, and not worth the headspace.

Loads of my stuff is still in my old bedroom at my dads house... I moved out 16 years ago when I went to uni

Some of my friends used to be so pleased with their smart, tidy homes, but that was thanks to leaving their stuff at their parents' house. Quite selfish, really. Their parents weren't thrilled about it but were too nice to complain.

And lots of people don't redecorate every few years, especially as they get older.

You do sound a bit intolerant Op. Maybe you're very young?

Somebody I know moved all of her son's stuff into storage the week after they went to university and redecorated the room and made it into a spare room

I am a community carer and one of the houses I go to still has the names on the bedrooms
its lovely

nope not weird and very sensible actually as often when people fall on hard times or marriages/ long term relationships go wrong people go back to live with their parents in the sort to medium term so it would make sense that they still have all their stuff in one place.

No, It's not weird at all, its quite an endearing thing to say about the rooms of your loved ones,even though they have now left.