Moaning about being ‘poor’ when rich

[freetone]

AIBU to think if you are childless, go on 3 holidays abroad per year and live in a 4 bed detached house on a private road then you don’t have the right to moan about being ‘poor’? My DF and his wife have been like this recently. He earns over £150k a year. It shows how far away from reality they are imo. Really gets on my nerves when there are millions of people genuinely struggling. Anyone else experienced people like my Father?

Childless meaning he never paid CS and was hard to get by the authorities as he is self employed. Apologies for missing out the context!

My sister once told me they had “had” to sell some of their shares - I was a penniless single mother of three

OP I agree. 😉

I understand that people obviously experience different levels of ‘poor’ when they’re only used to riches, but it’s still insensitive imo. One of my old friends completely trashed a £500 dress on a night out and just happily binned it. That’s more than a month’s worth of food shopping for me and DCs! Really puts things into perspective

I’ve met numerous people like this.
Someone who earned £100k and said ‘it’s not as much as you think’ (we don’t live in London btw and his average staff wage was £16k).

I have a friend who is driving me mad at the moment. She complains about how she hates where she is. She goes away constantly, most weekends even to stay in a hotel or a spa, goes on cruises and holidays but then wants pity for where she is living...

It’s relative. You can earn £100k in London, live modestly (no holidays, shop at Lidl and Aldi) and still be on overdraft each month after tax, mortgage, CC, utilities etc.

I’ve been poor and unable to afford to eat. Now I can afford food I feel rich despite being classed as poor still

YANBU

It isn't "relative" if that person goes on several holidays a year or lives in a large house or spends high amounts on other non-essentials. It is just really ignorant and extremely insensitive, particularly if they are talking to someone who is much less well off. It is difficult to avoid if it is a close relative but if it was a friend I would stop contact. Either way, I would tell them what I thought of them.

No one, regardless of where they live is going to be 'poor' on a £100k a years.

They might spend above their means and end up with an overdraft each month but that's not the same as being 'poor'. Poor mean living in some level of poverty with no means of changing that; £100k a years is not living in poverty.

Its not relative . Earnings £100k is not poor wherever you do yo shopping. A perfect example of people not living in the real world

I completely agree.

Also so sick of hearing about £100k not being much in London. The average household income isn’t even £50k!

To counter balance these kind of people I go around telling everyone how rich I feel.

Firstly your DF sounds awful. So you pretty much always have a right to annoyed about that!

Secondly, I think it’s easy to get accustomed to whatever your normal is and feel aggrieved when it goes down or if others seem to have more. Who is he comparing himself to? If he is comparing himself to oligarchs then yep, he is going to feel poor

We have an income that is below average for a family. But where we live means we are better off than many who are on benefits/minimum wage, and we have had less money in the past. So feel quite well off. I also think housing has a lot to do with it. We have a nice house now. When we lived in London in a mouldy tiny flat we felt poorer despite having more.

Overall though, it would probably benefit richer people to hang out with some poorer people to make us appreciate what we have! A bit like uncover millionaire programme but for normal rich people. I count myself amongst this since from a global perspective I’m incredibly privileged.

One can never be rich enough or thin enough. Just Ccept that other people’s poverty ison a diffent level from yours.

For example , single parent neighbour who rents, has two chldren but drives brand new car and never stops spending on rubbish and has top of the range mobile. She is always telling me that she is going to buy her house. She lives in a bubble. On the other hand I own my own home outright and drive an old car which is reliable, I have a large amount of dosh stashed away because I don’t waste it! I go on holiday too!

Try being a family of four on 25 k

Was talking to a neighbour a few years ago about how we both wanted to move, but couldn’t afford anywhere bigger. Thought we were on the same page until he said he might even have to consider getting a mortgage and I realised we were having two very different conversations!

When I was scraping by in London in my 20s, someone at work was sympathise and asked me if I'd 'cancelled my cleaner as that could help save money'. I didn't know how to answer that one!

Ignorance is bliss. My DSis bangs on about being broke, she is kind, she has always worked hard and has a rich DH. She has never been poor. I don't mind that everyone has a shoe string and would like more.
My good friend OTOH was starving poor, like me at one time, she meet a lovely chap got married, got money, she never stops bragging about their 3 holidays, new veneers, fancy clothes, french bulldogs x 2. It is tiring listening to her shopping sprees knowing the majority of us can't afford one holiday a year, she is a lovely lady, she used to bag up clothes for DS, I done the same for her DD, now she throws them out, totally lost sight.

Agree there’s a massive difference between having a high cost of living (central London) so no spare cash & living in small flat etc versus the genuine fear of keeping any roof over your head or food on table. The £100k gang may be in the former, but never the latter. However many are trapped as outside London (or other places) their jobs wouldn’t exist etc.

Quite simply, people like this are just not grateful. I bet they don't have an 'attitude of gratitude'. There are people who have a lot less but are grateful for what they do have.

it is not and never has been "relative"

It is an absolute FACT that anyone earning over £100k is RICH.
They might have higher expenses, but those are - by and large - by choice. Choices not available to you on minimum wage.

My dad is like this. Earns nearly £200k a year (and we live in the north west) and lives with his wife and her 4 kids in a 5 bed house. When I split up with my DP and left with nothing, he text back saying 'ok. Can't lend u any money as I am skint at the mo.'

They go abroad about 5 times a year, have two brand new Audi's and go out every weekend. Fucks me off when I'm living in a small rented flat on universal credit and my single wage. I would never ask for money anyway but it's the cheek of saying they're skint.