Moaning about being ‘poor’ when rich

[freetone]

AIBU to think if you are childless, go on 3 holidays abroad per year and live in a 4 bed detached house on a private road then you don’t have the right to moan about being ‘poor’? My DF and his wife have been like this recently. He earns over £150k a year. It shows how far away from reality they are imo. Really gets on my nerves when there are millions of people genuinely struggling. Anyone else experienced people like my Father?

According to IFS data, if you have two children and a weekly income of £1100, you’re in the top 7%. The graph only goes up to £1100 incidentally, so it’s probably more like the top 4-5% for £100k. So 90 odd percent of the population is living on less. That’s not poverty, relative or absolute.

Unless you are foolish enough to blow all money on a zone one house then I might buy that

You ain’t buying a house in zone 1 on a 100k salary. Not suggesting 100k is poor, but it’s not house in zone 1 rich unless you got on the ladder a long time ago.

We have family members who complain about having no money and having to 'cut-back'. On days out they take food and a flask with them as they can't afford a cafe and they spend hours looking for cheap supermarket deals. I'm sick of hearing how they need to 'cut-back' and yet they spend a fortune on holidays, home renovations and have just bought a holiday home. I don't know how they dare plead poverty when it's so obvious they are far from skint.

I do think it’s about what you’re used to though.
My in laws for example live in a beautiful huge house, have money in the bank and are wealthy enough to go away several times a year.

It always makes me smile to myself when MIL talks about struggling because she really has no idea what that means. However her reality is not having to think about money so if a big bill comes in she does panic. It’s those times she talks of “struggling”.

My struggling was several years ago when I had moved and my wages were late by a week. I ended up going to Provident because at that time nobody else would lend to me. I had an empty (virtually) fridge and freezer and an 8 yr old to feed.

I couldn’t even afford to put the storage heaters on when it was cold because they were too expensive.

Am sat here now in another social housing property feeling the warmth and with a full fridge and freezer feeling fortunate.

I do understand it.

When we are bombarded online and news (Daily Mail etc.) by all the super-rich slebs/people/billionaires in the world, it's easy to feel "hard done by"....

Ridiculous too.

Take a trip to India (or wherever) where there is real poverty, seeing 3-year-old naked kids covered in grime living on the streets, you'll soon bless yourself having been born in a "first-world-country"!!

I don’t know. It’s all relative.

We live in the SE, property prices are extortionate. We earn a lot by other standards, but so do our peers. We none of us feel rich but we have high standards of living which we don’t question.

Having said that, I do get there is REAL poverty in UK, the news is full of people who fall by the wayside, homelessness etc.

It's a disgrace.

No sympathy for people moaning that 100K £ is not enough to live on.

You ain’t buying a house in zone 1 on a 100k salary. Not suggesting 100k is poor, but it’s not house in zone 1 rich unless you got on the ladder a long time ago

My point still stands.

£100k in London is plenty.

My neighbours are budgeting hard with no holidays/ days out/one very old car on £120k

Their rent is £2100 (2 bed flat in zone 3)
Two kids in nursery at £2700
Travel £240

They've got 1k left to pay for everything else, food, insurances, council tax, gas, electricity, phones - everything

So I can well believe it's hard for people with two lots of nursery fees and a very ordinary flat for a few years until they go to school.

Yea. Property prices are way over the top.

Even a 2-bed flat where I live is over € 400K

It it's certainly v comfortable, and at the point where more will probably not make them happier, they are probably not making the most of it.
The problem with these threads is that people compare themselves with those they know, who are likely to be a bit richer but not out of this world. To be truly rich you will own several properties or have lots of investments. We don't see these people because they live elsewhere and have a completely different life. Lots of MPs and directors of business in this league, raking in millions, not from mp salary but have private income.

It's all relative, when my daughter had ponies a friend commented 'I don't know how you can afford them' and I retorted ' same as I don't know how you can afford a family holiday to an all inclusive resort in the Caribbean in the summer holidays' - the ponies were a LOT cheaper to keep than the holiday BTW.

I do think it’s about what you’re used to though.

That's the whole point, some people are used to far too much, at the environmental expense of the whole world.
To be truly rich you will own several properties - I've known several landlords who fall into this group (although in the interests of being explicit, I think anyone with more than 2 or 3 is 'several' and anyone with more than 2 is obscene anyway). They all, without exception, fell into the stereotype that the op is talking about.

I do not dispute that housing costs are dreadful in London
But there are many other places to live and work.
@Laurie's neighbours I presume are choosing to tough it out for now as their careers may make it pay off later? Otherwise why would they choose a location and to have 2 children when it was going to be unsustainable for them?

Doesn't annoy me as much as people having children and complaining that it costs money and they can't afford activities / holidays / the latest school jumper.

I do not dispute that housing costs are dreadful in London

There are also places in London which are certainly more than affordable on £100k.

Don’t agree £100k is not a great wage - even in London. I earn around 60k, live in London and feel VERY fortunate. I know much wealthier people but I manage pretty well on that salary and have a nice life and I am grateful. Can’t afford private school, am not in the property ladder, would like to travel more but I would never complain about being “poor” because I am not and that would be insulting to people who are!

@iggly eh? did you not read my post, or any of my others?

Meh, it is what it is, don’t let it bother you. There will always be rich and poor, you can’t change that so just keep on, keeping on.

*My point still stands.

£100k in London is plenty.*

Sure it could be a lot worse. But your example of buying a house in zone one is so far off that it demonstrates you don’t really have any idea of what a 100k salary lifestyle looks like in London.

You are absolutely right it’s plenty. It’s a house in zone 4 maybe. It’s feeling relatively secure but it’s not luxury like it would be outside London.

YANBU. I am about to start a full-time job for £18000 per year. It will be the first time I've worked full-time since 2010; after several years of bringing up DS on about £750 per month for everything, (except most of my rent, which housing benefit mostly covers). I shall feel very rich!

When DS leaves for university and all the child-related income ends in 2 and a half years, I will still feel comfortable.

It's just all relative isn’t it? My two cousins are my best friends so I spend a lot of time with them.
One has a combined household income of 300k and lives in the North East so she has tons of spare cash. They’ve just paid off the mortgage as well with a redundancy payment she got. They waste loads of money too though. When she moved house I helped her unpack and there were loads of clothes with the labels still on, dozens of pairs of trainers, shoes, designer handbags. Them and the kids have so much stuff they don’t know what to do with it.
Her sister is a SAHM to two school age kids and has a partner who works away earning approx 100k. She wastes loads of money too on personal trainers, hair, beauty, rubbish for the house, designer clothes for everyone. But she’s in 20k of debt and the mortgage is way in negative equity.

We don’t have a massive household income but we use every penny well and I haven’t got used to buying loads of stuff like they do. If one of us lost our jobs we could manage as we have no debt and we have savings. We’ve kept our monthly outgoings as low as possible. We have a seven year old car which is ours with no finance and economical with petrol.

I do sometimes think oh that would be nice when they talk about cars or holidays but I reality I know we have a lovely life and have everything we need. Yes our house isn’t as fancy as some but the mortgage is low and we’ve done it up as we go along.

It’s feeling relatively secure but it’s not luxury like it would be outside London.

Sure any salary will go further outside London and the south east but £100k a year is absolutely luxury, wherever you choose to make your home.

Years ago I had a neighbour who had four kids all at private school. She was a SAHM and they had a couple of horses. He was a senior hospital consultant.

I dropped by as we were about to go on holiday. You know, that usual thing where you present your neighbour with that cabbage you somehow never ate and an unopened pint of milk. We were off for a week's self catering in Ireland, so driving and fairly low key, but we were happy with our choice.

My neighbour said I was so lucky to be able to afford to go abroad. They were broke you see, and didn't have a spare farthing for a family holiday. I foolishly replied 'But you're not broke, you have four children at private school and horses.'

She was furious. She liked to consider herself hard up and for me to suggest that she was actually very fortunate clearly rankled. She simply could not accept that she was so much richer than we were but had made different financial priorities. We were fine btw but lived in a smaller house, only had one car and didn't send our children to private school. Thus we could afford a summer holiday each year. Which cost less than the fees for one term for one child at her kids' school ...

It's such bullshit that £100,000 is not a good wage down south or in London. It's £5500 a month, net pay (or £6000 a month net pay if it's 2 people on £50,000 each.) And people try to make out that is not a good income?! Do me a favour!

I know people who live down south and shocker in London too, who earn less than £50,000 - some are on £30,000-£35,000, and they cope fine - and IN LONDON too!

WTF is wrong with some people on here? They are on a different planet! Suggesting a £100,000 salary for one person is not a high wage is ridiculous. £100,000 a year puts you in the top 5% highest earners in the UK, so enough with the bullcrap that it's not a high salary.

Who are these people who think £100,000 a year is not a high salary? No way are they serious. As I said earlier, they are probably trying to get a rise out of people.