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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have a nanny who smokes?

123 replies

crispysausagerolls · 03/05/2019 15:08

Please for the love of god if I am being unreasonable asking this, don’t yell at me via the medium of typing 😂🙈

I am looking for a nanny who will have DS for one afternoon a week and I think I have someone great but I just realised she smokes as she smells of it and I am not sure if it’s ok - mostly because I’ve seen so many posts on here of the smoke sticking to the clothes and then DS passively smoking through that even if she is not smoking around him? Is that really a thing? Quite hard to find someone for this length of time so unsure if I’m being ridiculous discounting her for a seemingly small reason.

No yelling 😬

OP posts:
Daffodil2018 · 03/05/2019 15:11

That would be a deal breaker for me I’m afraid.

Lllot5 · 03/05/2019 15:12

Will she be doing it in front of him. You know like popping out the garden that sort of thing. If that’s the plan I’d say no. But if she doesn’t probably be ok. How many hours we talking about? How old is your child?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 03/05/2019 15:13

When she would start having him for an afternoon, 1 year. We are talking about 3-4 hours and she wouldn’t be popping out to smoke I hope!

OP posts:
Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 03/05/2019 15:14

littlecabbage

Oh dear that’s fairly conclusive isn’t it!!!!

OP posts:
NannyR · 03/05/2019 15:16

If she smells of smoke that smell will transfer to your child as she cares for him, cuddles him, sits next to him etc. I'd hate to come home from work and have my child smelling of stale smoke, that's before you even start thinking about the health issues. I wouldn't employ her.

blackcat86 · 03/05/2019 15:17

Absolutely no way I would have a smoker regularly around my child. 3rd hand smoke means that the cancer causing chemicals from your potential nanny's last cigarette would be on her breath for at least 24hrs. Unless you mean that she vapes rather than smokes because vape vapour is just water.

BelulahBlanca · 03/05/2019 15:18

I’d say no. I can’t stand the smell and definitely would not want my child smelling of smoke.

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 03/05/2019 15:19

Yes, third hand smoke is a thing, and NFW would I have a smoker regularly around my young child, nor in my house.

bumtickler · 03/05/2019 15:19

be a no from me

TheGrey1houndSpeaks · 03/05/2019 15:19

I wouldn’t. I really wouldn’t.

Purpleartichoke · 03/05/2019 15:20

I would not hire her.

mindutopia · 03/05/2019 15:20

Both my dc have come home from nursery smelling of their key workers washing powder. Not even anything strong or sinister. You will most certainly have him coming home smelling of smoke, even if she doesn’t smoke around him. That’s a definite dealbreaker.

Aquamarine1029 · 03/05/2019 15:20

No way. I might get flamed for this but I couldn't care less... I would also doubt her judgement and common sense. Smoking is beyond stupid and disgusting. She wouldn't be watching my child.

SoHotADragonRetired · 03/05/2019 15:20

No smokers was a hard line in hiring a nanny for me. I would not have it around my property, or my kids.

Littlechocola · 03/05/2019 15:21

You say you realised that she smokes because she smells of it. That is what your lo will smell like.

onlyconnect · 03/05/2019 15:22

I heard the doctor who discovered the dangers of passive smoking being interviewed and he said he'd let people smoke in his house. From him I gathered that the dangers are real if you are regularly in very smoky environments but not present from the odd bit of smoke here and there and certainly not from clothes.

If it were me I wouldn't want someone smoking in front of my child but I wouldn't mind the fact that they're a smoker per se.

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 03/05/2019 15:22

When you tell her she's been unsuccessful, consider telling her why. Many smokers have no idea - or just don't think - of the impression their habit makes on others and the limitations it can impose on their lives (beyond the obvious health ones) because of it.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 03/05/2019 15:23

No, I wouldn't hire a smoker nanny OP. It would normalise smoking for my child and that's not on. I smoked, it was normal in my family and I wish to goodness I hadn't started.

It's not a pleasant smell. I'm not rabid about it but I really do dislike the smell and smokers just don't realise how awful they smell. It's a fact; adding perfumes and mouthwash doesn't mask it.

Get a non-smoking Nanny.

Alsohuman · 03/05/2019 15:29

You’re going to get reams of anti smoker bias here, OP. The residue of smoke on clothes is less harmful than the traffic emissions when you walk down a busy road. If she’s never going to smoke in front of or around your child and she’s perfect in every other way, I’d say it was a non issue. But I’m a pretty unclenched non smoker.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 03/05/2019 15:32

I can't stand the smell so it would be a no from me.

Bringbackthestripes · 03/05/2019 15:32

she wouldn’t be popping out to smoke I hope!

Most smokers can’t go more than a couple of hours with out a cigarette. If she smokes so much that you can smell it on her then she is a pretty heavy smoker.

PanamaPattie · 03/05/2019 15:32

Are you sure she smokes? Perhaps she just spends time around smokers and that’s why she smells.

AllFourOfThem · 03/05/2019 15:34

I wouldn’t hire her.

Foxmuffin · 03/05/2019 15:35

No from me.

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