DH just told me he’s secretly taking viagra

[Ncagainagain]

NC for this.

First of all, before I get flamed, I have nothing against Viagra — IF both parties are aware and it’s pre agreed to.

We’ve been married for 6 years and have 3 young DC one after the other. Rarely have sex which is making me question why he needs it. I suffered bad tears after birth that took many stitches, physio and a long time to heal + have had 3 babies one after the other so we’ve been intimate in other ways than sex it’s self, bjs etc maybe once a week or fortnightly. - he works away half the week before anyone gets at me this is not enough.
Yesterday as I walked in he quickly hid his phone I’ve never seen him look so panicky, so I asked to see his phone why he’s hiding it, resulted in a blazing row and I told him to leave. Today he’s messaged me he hid it as he was googling something about him and his Viagra and didn’t want me to see.

I feel so betrayed. I also feel horrible like all these years I wasn’t able to give him an erection and worthless not to drip feed he’s only in his 20s and we got married at 19. So it’s not like he should need it.

Please be gentle feeling a little sensitive with him leaving yesterday I’m on my own with the young DC & now feeling inadequate too

So she didn't put in the original post I'm sure because she's upset and hurt and wondering WTH happened to be left holding the baby, literally.

But the other scenarios were raised by other posters, not by the OP. And thinking about what else he might have doing on his phone are unconnected to the OP saying that she would only be ok with him using this medication if he had pre agreed that with her. That is separate to what else he may or may not be doing or what his behaviour after he's taken the viagra.

I would have no issue with her saying she's worried that he's having an affair but she didn't say that initially.

None of us (I hope) would accept a male poster saying that he would only allow his wife to take medication if she discussed it and pre agreed it with him, would we?

I think I would just go with 'I won't listen to any more of your lies, so you've got until I can see my solicitor to start the divorce to tell the whole truth'.