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Original poster

DH just told me he’s secretly taking viagra

102 replies

Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 10:33

NC for this.

First of all, before I get flamed, I have nothing against Viagra — IF both parties are aware and it’s pre agreed to.

We’ve been married for 6 years and have 3 young DC one after the other. Rarely have sex which is making me question why he needs it. I suffered bad tears after birth that took many stitches, physio and a long time to heal + have had 3 babies one after the other so we’ve been intimate in other ways than sex it’s self, bjs etc maybe once a week or fortnightly. - he works away half the week before anyone gets at me this is not enough.
Yesterday as I walked in he quickly hid his phone I’ve never seen him look so panicky, so I asked to see his phone why he’s hiding it, resulted in a blazing row and I told him to leave. Today he’s messaged me he hid it as he was googling something about him and his Viagra and didn’t want me to see.

I feel so betrayed. I also feel horrible like all these years I wasn’t able to give him an erection and worthless Sad not to drip feed he’s only in his 20s and we got married at 19. So it’s not like he should need it.

Please be gentle feeling a little sensitive with him leaving yesterday I’m on my own with the young DC & now feeling inadequate too

OP posts:
lunabody · 03/05/2019 11:24

I don't agree with PPs about there being an OW - he was probably just embarrassed about the viagra.

@Ncagainagain - ED is nothing to do with you, but the two of you do need to talk about it. The porn stuff... I know my DH watches porn, I don't want to know what, we have a sex life outside of that. If it's intruding on your sex life it's an issue, and he needs to address that with you, not try and hide the issue by secretly getting viagra.

Lweji · 03/05/2019 11:25

If he was looking for Viagra he won't have a problem showing the browser history, will he?

Just check his phone.

BollocksToBrexit · 03/05/2019 11:26

He could be telling you the truth. Lots of men get very embarrassed about erectile issues and don't want their partners to know.

Lovemusic33 · 03/05/2019 11:27

I agree with what some others have said, I think there’s more to it than this judging on his reaction of you wanting to look at his phone, have you actually managed to look at it? I would be more concerned that he’s hiding something else and that he told you the viagra story to hide something else.

SignedUpJust4This · 03/05/2019 11:29

He may not actually be meeting with OW. As we've seen on here there are plenty of married men on tinder who just love chatting up ladies and sending pics. Or Web cam girls

JinglingHellsBells · 03/05/2019 11:32

Why would he be googling about 'him and his Viagra'?
What an odd explanation.
Why would he suddenly mention Viagra out of the blue like that?
Has he ever talked about it or said he needed it?

You can buy Viagra now at Boots and any good chemists. :)
What might he want to know about Viagra?

You know him best. Has he ever had any issues with ED before?

You are both terribly young to have 3 kids by mid 20s, and him working away a lot of the time.

Looking at the least likely, could he be gay? Is there any chance he is and he's had issues for a long time?

It's highly unusual for men in their early-mid 20s to need Viagra unless they can't get turned on due to being porn addicts or being gay and not coming out.

What's your gut feeling? How has your sex life been up till you had the kids?

Justaboy · 03/05/2019 11:33

OK as a Viagra user and not ashamed of it but at my age;!..

Its a barstard thing its the core of what a man is, the ability to get it up etc. I thank the powers that be its now called ED which sounds much better like the spastics society was renamed scope etc and impotence which it was.

It isnt that odd these days that someone in his twenties needing it and ED can strike at many differing ages and it seems to be getting younger. It is suually caused by aging and maybe the side effect of other drugs and sometimes heart and circulatory problems.

You can go and buy it over the counter these days but along the line you will be asked some health questions mainly about what other meds your taking so it dosen't contra indicate or adversley react with them.

You still need some stimulation to get an erection it doesnt just do it by itself as it were, however it is a condfidence booster knowing the you have shall we say launch booster rockets attached to the man missile:)

I suspect that he's simply embarrased, its to some men like an admission that they arent a complete functioning man and that that age there shouldnt be a problem. Its OK with me being over 60 so to be expected and it dosent bother me anyway I'm just gald its there, and works:)

That said I don't think he's playing away it might that he cant get a stiffy in order to mastuirbate etc and the sex situation between you may not be helping these things all can interact a bit.

Last thing he needs is a row with his nearerst and searest which he does need is an understanding wife who is concerned about him. I t is a very difficult thing for a man to talk about anyway under most circumstances but do try to talk about it and be as accomodating as you can be.

Nuff said;!

cakecakecheese · 03/05/2019 11:37

Whatever his reasons for using viagara, the fact that he called you crazy when he was acting suspiciously isn't good. I'm not a fan of chucking the term gaslighting about but that is an example of that.

HollowTalk · 03/05/2019 11:40

Honestly, I think he's told you about the viagra to make you forget about his shifty behaviour when you caught him on the phone.

blue55 · 03/05/2019 11:43

Agree with PP. He told you about the viagra as the lesser of two things going on that you could have found out about had you seen the phone.

He's got something to hide.
And he'll have now deleted the evidence.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 03/05/2019 11:45

wheres the viagra?

JaneEyre07 · 03/05/2019 11:52

Question is, can you live with not knowing what he's up to?

Any evidence will be long gone, and he'll be more careful now.

HarrysOwl · 03/05/2019 12:02

I would be concerned that the viagra is a cover story for whatever he was doing on his phone.

Red flags all over the place, OP.

Justaboy · 03/05/2019 12:11

Red flags all over the place, OP.

Don't think so give him the benfift of the doubt for now and try to find out why he did that there may as i posted earlier be a good reason but if he is misbehaving then get the big guns to bear but untill then.

theOtherPamAyres · 03/05/2019 12:13

Sounds like he was watching porn rather than googling something.

AnyFucker · 03/05/2019 12:14

I don't believe him

MoistMolly · 03/05/2019 12:15

Wow, some serious batshit replies on here.

OP, if you feel the need to do any of the things suggested on here, there is obviously no trust, so rather than getting MI5 to investigate what he had for breakfast Tuesday, just break up and carry on with your life.

Original poster
Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 12:57

He said he got it from the pharmacy they come in packs of two and he’s only ever taken two..

OP posts:
Original poster
Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 13:00

He’s not talking to me now for questioning why he bought them as a one off is he has a health problem with getting an erection & how after 6 years he’s only needed to take it twice. He was arriving home late on Wednesday when he supposedly took it when I would be fast asleep in bed (I heard him come in about 11pm and he did come straight up so I know he wasn’t watching porn down stairs) so why would he randomly as a one off need to take one this night when he knew I’d be asleep anyway and predict be wouldn’t be able to get an erection. So called errection was still there in the morning so he googled why apparently and that’s why I couldn’t see his phone and he hid it. This isn’t adding up for me.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 03/05/2019 13:05

No, and the more he's explaining, the less sense he's making. Something's going on, OP.

Original poster
Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 13:13

I just can’t undersgand it. He said he has a health problem ED first. Then said he’s only taken two in his life. If that’s true the second one he took on weds night he would have had to predict he wouldn’t get an errection even though he knew I would be asleep in bed how could he predict on the way home that night we would DTD. I did get woken up however when he came in and we ended up drs but half way through he went soft so how would he if he took a viagra? When I have asked him these questions he said he’s had enough now and not talking to me he’s had enough of the questions “he’s done”

OP posts:
Original poster
Ncagainagain · 03/05/2019 13:14

Ended up DTD I meant not drs

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 03/05/2019 13:22

onlinedoctor.superdrug.com/viagra-connect-dosage.html#1

This pharmacy say the smallest pack they come in is 4

theOtherPamAyres · 03/05/2019 13:23

His 'viagra story' collapsed after a few questions so now he wants to you to stop probing him.

There's something going on that he's too ashamed to discuss.

xjox1983 · 03/05/2019 13:29

I might be just one of those girls who got sucked in also
My dh was found to be using them frequently after I found his stash his reasons were depression n work stress
He stated
The did not have magic powers and he needed to be aroused but that they helped

If your gut says it’s more follow
I did and found him on a swingers site
Sad

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