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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you how you met your partner?

133 replies

Overandoverupanddown · 02/05/2019 15:41

NC
My DP and I are coming to the end of the road. One of those unfortunate 'we both have a different vision for the future' kind of endings where you're both sad to break up, but you both know it's right (along the lines of one is moving abroad, one definitely is not moving abroad, or one wants kids, one doesn't).
I'm been coming to terms with it for a while now.
I had envisioned marriage and kids with DP so am coming to terms with my life being different to that, and slightly aghast at the idea of having to start again from scratch with someone new (but also excited at the idea of a relationship where there isn't this big 'issue' between us?)

The idea of going on a date or getting a dating app or essentially putting myself out there is terrifying to me- I thought I was done with all that!

So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up by giving me hope with telling me the random place or way you met your DP?

Did you meet at work? At a running club? On a train? In Tesco?

OP posts:

MissConductUS · 02/05/2019 16:48

We met on match.com, when it was so new that it was free and had no pictures. I saw his profile, liked it a lot and asked him out. He lived just far enough away that we never would have met any other way. We were married two years later and have been quite happy, with two great kids, one now in uni.

The brilliant thing about OLD is how it expands your choices and possibilities.

EastMidsGPs · 02/05/2019 16:48

Fell over him in a bookshop (he was sitting on the floor reading). His big head broke my collarbone. He took me out a week later to apologise. I went to his that day, never left, we married 9 weeks later.

legolimb · 02/05/2019 16:50

Match.com for me.

I had a couple of short term relationships from the online dating sites - then met DH.

We've been together almost 13 years now - married for 10. We would probably not have met otherwise.

cockadoodledooooo · 02/05/2019 16:51

In an msn chat room 18 years ago, it wasn't a dating app or site just a general chat room. We Corresponded online, email, then spoke on phone, met about six weeks later and within a month he gave up everything and moved 300 miles north to be with me. Best thing we ever did, but everyone thought we were mad! We just "knew".

ByeGermsByeWorries · 02/05/2019 16:56

Through a car enthusiast club. We both love the same specific model of car so naturally we now have a pair of them and twice as many enthusiast expenses. Not sure if we thought that part through

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 02/05/2019 17:15

At uni 12 years ago. We were both part of the same outdoor sports club.

wendywoopywoo222 · 02/05/2019 17:16

We also met through plenty of fish. Been together 18 months and can't see that changing. I dated a lot of pof frogs before meeting him.

RidgedPerfection · 02/05/2019 17:17

Through work; left it a very long time until we actually got together as I was enormously wary of the situation.

Subeccoo · 02/05/2019 17:21

I was at the end of the road with my then bf, had a big night out with my best friends to just come to terms with it. Much drinking and dancing. The dj came and danced with me and well, been dancing ever since 6 years n counting. He was so cool I couldn't believe my luck.

Itsagrandoldteam · 02/05/2019 17:22

We met at work, over 23 years ago, he was my boss.

CherryPavlova · 02/05/2019 17:23

Post A level summer volunteering.

SingingSands · 02/05/2019 17:32

We met at uni, 23 years ago, doing the same course but he was a few years ahead of me.

BossAssBitch · 02/05/2019 17:39

Sorry to hear your story, I left my ex in similar circs, we just got to the end of the line after 10 long years and I realised he would never make me happy.

Did a lot of dating, realised I had been attracted to the wrong types. Changed up my 'type' and met the most amazing, kind, funny and gorgeous man on Tinder who is like the man version of me (that sounds more big headed than I meant it to )

Engaged after two months, married after 6 months. Very happy!

goose1964 · 02/05/2019 17:41

I met my DH on my mum's work outing. We kept bumping into each other. We actually met in a different city to where we lived. Once we started dating we would meet each other in really odd places like the fish stall in the market.

MarvelandDC · 02/05/2019 17:42

We met online. Not on a dating app but in a local chat room, we were both about 18, it was literally when chat rooms first became a thing. We didn't actually meet up in person until a number of years later, we both had different relationships in between but continued to be 'online friends'.

We had no real intention of meeting up in real life although we'd mentioned it a couple of times, I think we both quite liked being sort of mystery friends.

One day we just decided to go on a date, 10 years later, married, kids.

Can I ask the reason you're splitting up? Is there no compromise to be had?

Dontsweatthelittlestuff · 02/05/2019 17:43

On holiday in a country far far away. I was just starting my holiday and he had a couple of days left before his ended. Once I got home he rang me and came down to visit me. He never really went home again and we married 2 years later. Had best part of 30 years together and made a wonderful family but I lost him to cancer just over a year ago.

nokidshere · 02/05/2019 17:48

He was my boss. We had our 32nd wedding anniversary yesterday.

Lookingforpizza · 02/05/2019 17:51

We’d been chatting through tinder but I thought he was a bit boring, so didn’t arrange to meet straight away. Bumped into him randomly in a pub one night, we had a good time but I didn’t feel a spark, but he was quite persistent. We chatted for about another month after that and started spending time together and I just fell for him completely. I’m so so grateful I found him, he’s a wonderful person. We’ve been together for about 18 months and it’s all looking good from here on out

Online dating isn’t for everybody but I’d certainly say give it a go, people can surprise you!

troppibambini · 02/05/2019 17:55

In a club.
I was a happily single mum and not looking for anyone. I had bought my own house and was supporting me and dd.
We met in March,he took me to Barbados in April, decided to live together in June sold and bought a house in six weeks and all moved in together me, him,dd, his two cats and his dog.
12 years on and 3 more kids later we're still here!

LakieLady · 02/05/2019 17:58

In a pub. He was a friend of a friend.

Mutual friend had tickets for a rave in central London, and a crowd of us decided to go. I'd driven to the pub, and hadn't had a drink, so 5 of us, including now-DP, jumped into my Renault 5 and off we went.

At one point, I had 3 out of 4 of them all giving me different directions, so I pulled over and told them to sort themselves out, decide who was navigating and the rest of them should shut the fuck up.

Mutual friend piped up "X is a despatch rider, maybe he should navigate". So I made DP sit in the front and give directions while the rest of them sat in silence in the back.

He says he was very taken by my extreme bossiness.

ZippyBungleandGeorge · 02/05/2019 18:02

This won't be helpful to you and I suggest you don't look in this location as an adult for a new partner, but DH and I met on the school bus, aged 11

Chimpfield · 02/05/2019 18:05

Another dating app success story - been together for 8 years, married for 5 yrs - never been happier - we had both come out of marriages of 20+ years.

EastMidsGPs · 02/05/2019 18:05

He says he was very taken by my extreme bossiness

DH claims he only kissed me to stop me talking 😂 30+ years on he just ignores me!

Hermie12 · 02/05/2019 18:06

Also online here. Just at the point where I’d thought I’ve had enough of this nonsense up popped his message. Been together 7 years and have a 4 yo dd, getting married tomorrow !

ChocoCrocc · 02/05/2019 18:10

Another for online dating here!! The first and only guy I met. I'd told my friends I wasn't looking for anything serious, probably just a bit of fun and now here I am with a DH.

Went out for a few drinks with him and stayed the night but I haven't been home since!

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