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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how you met your partner?

133 replies

Overandoverupanddown · 02/05/2019 15:41

NC
My DP and I are coming to the end of the road. One of those unfortunate 'we both have a different vision for the future' kind of endings where you're both sad to break up, but you both know it's right (along the lines of one is moving abroad, one definitely is not moving abroad, or one wants kids, one doesn't).
I'm been coming to terms with it for a while now.
I had envisioned marriage and kids with DP so am coming to terms with my life being different to that, and slightly aghast at the idea of having to start again from scratch with someone new (but also excited at the idea of a relationship where there isn't this big 'issue' between us?)

The idea of going on a date or getting a dating app or essentially putting myself out there is terrifying to me- I thought I was done with all that!

So AIBU to ask you to cheer me up by giving me hope with telling me the random place or way you met your DP?

Did you meet at work? At a running club? On a train? In Tesco?

OP posts:
The80sweregreat · 02/05/2019 16:03

In a bar in the 80s. Dating apps were a thing of the future! Had to use landlines to ring each other up ( or telephone boxes)

AntiHop · 02/05/2019 16:05

Online. He was my second online date so I didn't have to wade through lots of idiots. We've been together 15 years now.

Fleabag123 · 02/05/2019 16:05

OLD here too, OKCupid.

Don’t be scared of online dating! I enjoyed it in the main, did it for years on and off. DP is my longest term relationship from it (5yrs and counting) but I met lots of very nice guys over the years

FilthyforFirth · 02/05/2019 16:06

At college when we were super young. Didnt get together until years and years later (10+).

Might be worth a look back?! My DH was a bit nerdy and geeky at school which wasnt for me when I thought I was so cool. Once I grew up I realised he was exactly for me, and I'm quite nerdy too.

Best of luck back in the dating game!

Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 02/05/2019 16:06

Good luck for your future op! If I was you I would take the tome to get to know myself before looking for another relationship. I think you kind of lose your true self when you have been together for a long time.

I met dh at work when I was 18. We were put in the same training group together and although he was far from my usual type there was a strong pull between us that couldn’t be ignored.

DeadDoorpost · 02/05/2019 16:07

Met him twice because it was at different ages. First time I was 9 and he was 14. Both helping my DGM move house. He remembers thinking I was quite an intelligent 9 year old. I don't remember a thing about meeting him.

Second time I met him the day before my DGGMs funeral. His mum had been looking after her and we came down for it. The night before we went to a youth activity at our church and he was a leader there. I was 17 at the time so he would have been 22. I wasn't interested and neither was he.

But I guess the MAIN way we met was I moved back to the same county a few years later and went to church, and there he was. A few years older, more attractive, and he paid attention to me. First time a guy had been genuinely interested in me and what I had to say. His mum was over the moon as she'd always liked me and my DGGM. She still is over the moon.

Justmuddlingalong · 02/05/2019 16:07

Pretty old school. On a night out at a local working men's club. Just get out there and mix. Have fun, enjoy yourself and see what happens.

Original poster
Overandoverupanddown · 02/05/2019 16:09

Oh my goodness, I just sat down to read these properly and some of these stories are so, so sweet (should I join a band as a backing singer?! And the one about him being sat in 'your' chair at a bar was brilliant!) and also thank you to the posters telling me that OLD has worked out for them!

OP posts:
BagofTeeth · 02/05/2019 16:10

Through mutual friends on a night out, ironically it was meant to be an "I'm done with trying to find someone" night out for me. I'd tried dating apps as so many people I know met their spouses through them but all I found were sleazebags.

As476 · 02/05/2019 16:10

At my place of work, he was a customer! We got chatting and here we are 7 years and two children later 😊 I knew of him but didn’t know him iyswim

Isth · 02/05/2019 16:12

I’m sorry your relationship is ending OP Flowers

I met my fiancé through a friend. I work with his friends girlfriend and she just ‘saw’ that we’d work. That was 3.5 years ago and we get married in the summer Smile

Belenus · 02/05/2019 16:17

I tried online dating, meeting friends of friends, going to pubs and clubs, taking up hobbies. None of it worked. Gave up completely. Met someone whilst socialising with friends I'd made through a shared hobby. I am that cliche. Still very early days but it feels right.

jumperoo123 · 02/05/2019 16:20

I met my oh on Facebook! We had some mutual friends and a big common hobby which led us to commenting on our mutual friends status. Our friend was fed up of all the notifications so he private messaged me instead, that was 9 years ago and we now have DS 9month!

Bezalelle · 02/05/2019 16:29

My DP is my friend's son Blush

PanBasher · 02/05/2019 16:35

He was a friend/colleague of one of my brothers and they both came home on leave ( Forces ) He knocked on the door for my brother. I answered the knock and it was love at first sight for us both. We've now been married for 35 years after a whirlwind romance.

choccyfiend78 · 02/05/2019 16:37

Another successful online match here Smile

I had been on OLD for a while and had a few non starters plus a couple of months fling and had all but given up hope. He sent me a sweet and humorous message and I would normally have not looked twice as he is 8 years older than me but thought what the hell why not! Just over a year later we have just got engaged and are planning our wedding for next spring and house hunting for a new home with my 10 year old DS Grin

PanBasher · 02/05/2019 16:37

Get yourself out there OP and have a great time. Someone will come along when you least expect it and boom. Grin

Hithere12 · 02/05/2019 16:39

Plenty Of Fish. This was 6 years ago so before all the dating apps. If I was single now I’d use the dating apps.

MrJollyLivesNextDoor · 02/05/2019 16:41

Tinder

I had to kiss a lot of non-frog looking frogs before finding him 🙂

Snappedandfarted2019 · 02/05/2019 16:41

I went to school with dh and reconnected when we were 22. Together 9 years married for 5 and have three dc

CatG85 · 02/05/2019 16:41

Another dating app success here... met 2 and a half years ago on an app, now married and expecting our first child together in September.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all moonlight, roses and knights in shining armour on there trust me lol but I was on one you had to pay for as it made me feel people were after something a bit more serious.

Sorry to hear what you're going through but if you're already thinking about things like this then it's definitely the right decision imo.

Good luck with the next chapter x

Parker231 · 02/05/2019 16:42

We met at Uni - both international students although studying different subjects. Have now been married 25 years with two DC’s.

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 02/05/2019 16:43

My sister was going out with his brother.
He came to the pub with him one night.
We had our weddings in the same month 3 years later (fun for my DDad and the speeches).
Married for 14 years 😊

TheFrenchLieutenantsMonkey · 02/05/2019 16:44

Sorry...meant to add...people find each other in all sorts.of ways. Just have fun and try anything you fancy!!

cocodash · 02/05/2019 16:46

Met my DH on tinder. And I messaged him first haha it showed up on his profile he was 0.2 miles away from me and well..... I'm nosey. Turns out he lived in the street opposite me and he was year above me in school and I knew all his friends but not him.

Now married and awaiting baby No1.