To ask for your best sleep talking/walking stories

[TiredAndaBitBored]

I very rarely talk in my sleep however apparently last night I nudged DH awake and asked him to check the little man was still in the cupboard.

I've no idea what I was dreaming but DH confirmed there was in fact, no little man in our cupboard.

Anyone else?

I sleep talk, doesn't happen often. I've woken my DH as I thought the ceiling light was a giant spider, or because I've dreamt he's cheated on me (with my mum once!)
The worst one, I woke up in a panic as I thought there was a demon under the bed that was dragging me under. I was clawing at my DH asking him to save me from the demon, screaming don't let me be pulled under. Freaked him out lots.

I used to sleepwalk, usually when I was away with the reserves, or at least that's what it seemed. I perhaps do it at home but don't realise as I live alone.

I usually get up to go to the loo and can't find my way back as I'm not actually fully awake so just keep wandering in circles. I'm aware at the ba k of my head but can't do anything about it. I once came to in a closed bar but with two astonished blokes playing the bandit; I just pretended to be asleep and got out ASAP! 😁 Another time, I headed for a room with a light one, thinking that it was mine; I just remember hands on my shoulders gently turning me round and pushing me in the direction of my room just a few doors down - he must have realised I was sleepwalking.

I have written and sent a text to my friend in my sleep about the dream that I was dreaming at the time! It made perfect sense! and I’ve also made a chip butty whilst asleep (microwave chips thankfully), that scared me as I could imagine burning the house down.

She has sleepwalked round the house many times...her sister used to put her back to bed most nights as they shared a room , and at Uni her house mates learned to lock the doors after she once wandered into the street fast asleep...and naked!

Oh thank God I'm not the only one! I stopped sleeping starkers after that. I don't know how many cars had gone past me (hopefully none, it was 3am in the morning, but I woke up to see headlights coming towards me, looked down, and jumped unceremoniously into some very prickly rose bushes. . .

When I was a teenager I was sitting on middle sister's bed chatting with her when youngest sister sleep walked into the room, slapped middle sister across the face, walked out the room shutting the door behind her, went back to her own room and climbed back into bed. She couldn't remember anything about it next morning.

My DS has a speech delay, and didn’t talk until about 3.5. However, one night at about 3yo, I went to take him to the toilet in the middle of the night. He sat bolt upright and said in the clearest of tones, “for heaven’s sake mum, I’m trying to sleep here!”

I once phoned family friends at 6 a.m. when I was still asleep. That was in technologically prehistoric times, and yes, I actually dialled their entire number from a landline. They were really worried by the dawn phone call, as we never phoned at that time, and I woke them up, and their startled reaction woke me up too!

My dad once woke my mum up mumbling in his sleep. When she nudged him he exclaimed "I'm writing my autobiography!" When she (naturally) responded "Wtf?" he replied with "I'll let you read it when I'm finished" then promptly started snoring again. My dad is lovely but really I don't think he's led the kind of life to merit an autobiography.

We had lived in our old flat for a long time - first night in our new place I went for a sleep wee and woke up in the car park in my bra and pants. Went right (where old loo would have been) instead of left. My husband is a very deep sleeper but I suppose it was lucky we had a ground floor flat. I now have a big collection of nightwear!

My daughter also had a phase of night terrors. They were awful and I am so glad she seems to have outgrown them. Scared the crap out of me.

I also regularly put both arms and legs straight up in the air in the middle of the night while lying on my back. No idea why and it really amuses DH.

Slept walked naked twice. Once at 7am on a beautiful summer morning outside my own house (we’d not long got home from a party) and once abroad. Absolutely mortified both times, especially the first one, we stayed in a small cul de sac of about 8 houses at the time.

With prolific sonambulism since childhood I have many stories!

When a teen and working in a well known fast food drive through, I would regale my df and dsm with "d'ya want fries with that" and "is that a larrge" 😂

Then later in my own place in my early 20s, I woke up then boyfriend standing stark naked with the hoover pipe wrapped around me, trying to climb into the cupboard, which I insisted was a spaceship that would rescue us from the evil aliens!

Perhaps the most frightening was when I woke up in the petrol station 4 miles away asking for cigarettes. But the lady couldn't make sense of what I was saying. I was in my pyjamas and my car was outside at a jaunty angle 😮

After that, my ex husband would bolt the door at night as I wasn't strong enough to open it myself.

Basically I'm a complete liability!

I tried to get in bed with a boyfriends mum completely naked (it was the first day of meeting her), she kindly escorted me out of the room and I then used her landing as a urinal.

I also once used the kitchen as a urinal, from what I was saying it seems I thought the kitchen was White Hart Lane and it was on fire so I tried my very best to put it out.

My husband was an epic sleep talker in the early days of our relationship. He was a news reporter, so has recited whole pieces to camera in his sleep, sung hymns, laughed hysterically etc. But the best story (and the one that made into the best man's speech at our wedding) was time he'd been reporting on the Foot and Mouth crisis for the news with a cameraman called Gareth. They'd been filming in the dark and cold long into the night, so when he finally crept into bed with me in the small hours he was exhausted and freezing. No idea how long he'd been asleep, but at some point during the night he rolled over, cuddled up to me and whispered "ooooh, you are warm Gareth." He's never lived it down.

I really should name change but CBA. 20 years ago, aged 19, living in the US at college in a mixed dorm room environment (all be it separate wings), I decided to take myself off for a wonder around the building in my birthday suit, went to the girls bathroom upstairs, made myself a skirt of toilet paper and went and got back in bed. My room mate had seen me leave the room but I was upstairs before she managed to get herself out of bed. I vaguely remember it all. Luckily it was 4am and nobody else saw

My niece stayed at mine when she was around 8 years old, and she sat bolt upright in bed and started to punch the living daylights out of some poor dream person. Then she calmly lay back down, and went back to sleep.

My DH is awful for it. Some examples are:

• Quite early on in our relationship, probably first or second time he stayed at my flat, I woke up in the middle of the night to him completely naked, on his hands and knees looking for the remote control because he was ‘sick to death of listening to Gordon Ramsey telling people to fuck off’ - TV wasn’t on and we hadn’t watched Gordon Ramsey.

• One woke up terrified I had shit the bed, turns out my OH had gone and got one of the kids Easter eggs, opened is and then put it under the covers. Melted all over the bed. And my arse.

• As a 10 year old, his mum told me she got a knock on the door at 2am and her next door neighbour was consoling him. He’d sleptwalked out of the house and knocked on her door and asked for £1.

I meant once woke up, I don’t refer to myself as one!

As a child I slept walked all the time. I used to pack bags and tidy drawers. As i grew older it was mainly in times of stress. During finals i woke up in my pjs with muddy feet and legs and the front door wide open.
Numerous accounts of wandering, cooking, putting on weird outfits, clearing out cupboards, all while asleep.
It's all lessened massively now I am menopausal as i never get deeply enough asleep!

When I was about 6 I actually left the house, mum was watching tv, didn’t hear anything.
I woke up banging on the back door, scared the life out of mum.
Similar age, my grandma was babysitting and I was running up and down the stairs. When she asked what I was doing I said “playing rounders doh!” Terrified her!

When my DD was 2, we were on holiday with a couple of friends in a caravan, we had taken our baby monitor with us and all of a sudden my DD said "Thank you for the Mango mummy" my DH checked on her and she was fast asleep 😂.

She also woke up the next morning and shouted at my DH (Her dad) that he had crept into her room in the night and stollen her favourite teddy, who was still in her bed.

The other day she got up still tired and upset, when we told her to go back to bed she said that daddy had woken her up, he hadn't gone anywhere near her room.

I occasionally sleepwalk and sleep talk all the time, but my very worst/best one was years ago.

From my point of view, I woke up next to my dressing table, hearing a man shouting. I instinctively leaped for the bed, and the safety of (then) DP, who was sitting up in the bed.

From DP's point of view, he woke up to see a 'burglar' rummaging around on my dressing table. He yelled at 'him' 'GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!'. The burglar then leaped at him, and he thought he was going to be beaten to a pulp.

I also once woke a DP by kicking and thrashing against the wall and screaming - because 'I was dreaming I was trapped in a balloon'

When I was around 8yo my mother told me I sat straight up in bed flung my arms out wide and sang congratulations. I can't remember a thing about it but it must have been a big production number.

I was fast asleep at the time.

Oh, and an ex also once woke me up because I was shaking very violently, and he thought I must be having a seizure. I was SOOOO grateful to him, though, because I was dreaming a Devil Father Christmas had grabbed me and said he was going to shake me to death. :-O

OH doesn't sleep talk much but when he does it's usually him screaming for help in a high pitched little girl's voice. It's very weird - clearly his inner child is a scared little girl!