Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Don’t want to go through with second part of termination!

279 replies

Superscaredx · 30/04/2019 19:21

Posted on here for traffic mainly but I need help.
I am currently 8 weeks pregnant and decided on a termination (please don’t judge, my reasons are completely valid) Today was the first appointment where I took mifepristone. The next appointment is on Thursday and I 100 percent do not want to go. I regret my decision so much and I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know if you can continue with the pregnancy after taking mifepristone, or what it does to the pregnancy! I hope to God it hasn’t effected the baby but I’m worrying so bad. I really want this baby and if I could turn back time I wouldn’t have took the tablet. Anyone with experience on this or works in the industry...please help? Loads of American website say you can have progesterone shots to try and reverse it..but I don’t know anywhere in the UK that would do that. I am so lost.

OP posts:
Original poster
Superscaredx · 30/04/2019 23:15

Yeah sorry guys who have asked about the reasons I wanted to terminate, firstly this was a complete accident, I tried to avoid pregnancy but here we are. Then the pregnancy didn’t have the easiest start, my womb lining was really thick (as it’s meant to be) but looked very ‘cystic’ so the word cancer came up and then they thought I was having an ectopic! Luckily I had none of those things in the end but it really got me down thinking I was seriously ill or about to have a ruptured tube. And of course I had the usual worries with my DP. I feel selfish now looking at my reasons.

All I can do is pray that this baby somehow survives the mifepristone, this is all I want right now. I haven’t had any pain or bleeding yet not that I think it matters but I’m trying to be as hopeful as possible.

Thanks for all your lovely replies, they’ve cheered me upFlowers I’m going to sleep on it now and hopefully get more answers when I ring the clinic in the morning. Will update tomorrow x

OP posts:
Ginlinessisnexttogodliness · 30/04/2019 23:16

Best of luck 💐

Username321 · 30/04/2019 23:24

Best of luck whatever you decide. And your reasons WERE NOT selfish! Whatever happens you did what you thought was right for you at the time with the information that you had available and you should feel no shame or guilt in that.

BlueGlassesFrames · 30/04/2019 23:38

@Annietheacrobat
6 years is a pretty long time in science, particularly in medicine/biochemistry. In English or classics, that's actually pretty good, but for biochem it's kind of old. I'd be concerned about the small sample size as well, 105 is not a lot of people for a study.
@OP I'm sorry you're going through this, and beyond basic knowledge of studies I'm not in any position to be giving medical advice, but I can offer a virtual hug and tell you catagorically you are not selfish for wanting the abortion, nor are you selfish for changing your mind, and I'm keeping everything crossed that everything works out for you.

Tunnocks34 · 30/04/2019 23:54

Fingers crossed for you OP. I don’t know anyone who has been through this personally, so I can’t offer any reassuring stories.

I really wish you all the best.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 01/05/2019 00:43

I've got no medical background so no advice but I wish you the best. I hope it all turns out okay Flowers

LudoFriend · 01/05/2019 03:24

Another virtual handhold for you OP, and another one saying that the research done indicates that the percentages are on your side for both continuing the pregnancy and for a lack of deformities. It's no guarantee, but no one who is pregnant has that sadly.

If the worst happens then please don't blame yourself. You made the best decision you could at the time, and don't beat yourself up over it. Flowers

Rosesaredead · 01/05/2019 03:26

I'm so sorry but I don't think you can go through with it after the first tablet. What an awful situation for you. You can speak to the nurse but I'm sure this is the case as my best friend had a similar situation and I remember her telling me that she was so worried after taking the first tablet as there was no going back. This was a few years ago now so I can't remember the exact reason she gave but I remember it was an issue for her too. I'm sorry OP Flowers

Playmytune · 01/05/2019 05:21

Nothing to add except really hope things work out the way you want. Prayers and 💐.

Auramigraine · 01/05/2019 05:47

No advice but just wanted to say I hope all turns out ok for you. i Can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. Also wanted to say if the worst does happen please don’t blame yourself, you did what you thought was the right thing at the time. I’ll be thinking of you and looking out for your update today, hope you get some good news Flowers

jaseyraex · 01/05/2019 06:15

Oh OP. I have zero advice but fortunately you've already had some great advice from lots of people. Just want to wish you the best and hope that you get the outcome you want Flowers

Crunchymum · 01/05/2019 06:27

Please don't go to A&E.

Changing your mind about your termination really isn't a reason to attend A&E and I'm actually aghast that it's been suggested so much.

You have many other options today - GP, Marie Stopes, BPAS, walk-in, 111.

preprepmum · 01/05/2019 06:28

Feel deeply for you OP. Also hope all is ok. Thanks

Ferii · 01/05/2019 06:34

I'm so sorry OP. Please call the clinic tomorrow to see what they advise. Your reasons for terminating are likely still valid and you may just need support through this which is natural. Please don't put any weight on anything said on American pro life websites, they talk utter bollocks. I'm a UK nurse living in the US. Attend your second appointment even if you don't intend to take the second drug as they're the experts who can support and advise you.

MumInBrussels · 01/05/2019 06:42

Good luck, OP. I don't have any medical advice for you, and I suggest you get some from a real life doctor to find out what your options are now - it looks like you're going to, I hope they can give you the answer you want. Remember that they can advise, but they can't make you take any medication you don't want to - but please don't beat yourself up if it turns out this pregnancy cannot continue. You made the best decision you could at the time, and you had good reasons for it. I hope things go well for you today, I'll be thinking of you.

Ihatehashtags · 01/05/2019 06:50

Feeling for you OP and I hope it works out as you wanted xx

PenguindreamsofDraco · 01/05/2019 06:53

What "usual worries" with your DP?

KitKat1985 · 01/05/2019 07:10

I'm sorry you are going through this OP. I hope the clinic can give you some good advice and things work out how you want them to. xx

bobstersmum · 01/05/2019 07:37

Sorry to ask op but why did you have a scan to discover these things, are you not in the UK? We don't get a scan until 12 weeks here.

BurpingFrog · 01/05/2019 07:43

OP, so sorry for what you are going through.

I remember years ago reading an article in a UK magazine or paper, maybe Reader’s Digest but I’m not sure, by someone who changed her mind after the first pill. The clinic told her she was brave to have spoken up to stop it but they didn’t know what would happen. In the end she had a healthy baby. I hope all goes well for you but do not blame yourself either way.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 01/05/2019 07:56

When you said you would have to mention it at every antenatal class did you mean pregnancy appointments? Antenatal classes aren't essential, if you didn't want to bring it up. I hope everything works out for you but sorry I've no idea what the chances are either way.

Original poster
Superscaredx · 01/05/2019 07:58

@bobstersmum Yes I’m in the UK, however I hadn’t had a period for 3 months prior to finding out I was pregnant. I stopped testing as I kept getting negatives, so when my 3rd period was due I took another test and it was positive. Booked a private scan to see what was going on and they referred me to the hospital as they couldn’t even see a sac on the scan and my womb lining was concerning. Couldn’t believe it tbh but they’ve monitored me since with scans and everything was developing normally, it was just a very early pregnancy when I first went

@Penguindreamsofdraco Just worries about timing because as I said we weren’t trying so this was a complete shock, and we’ve only been together for a year so we wanted to wait before we had kids.

Thanks for your replies through the night, I had a think and I’m going to try and see if I can get a private scan to check it has a heartbeat, obviously ringing the clinic this morning too! Goodness some babies survive both pills hopefully mine can survive the one Star

OP posts:
Strawberrypancakes · 01/05/2019 08:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeddybearBaby · 01/05/2019 08:15

Good luck, thinking of you. Hope it all works out how you want. Everything crossed 🤞🏼 x

macncheese87 · 01/05/2019 08:18

Good luck OP. Don't blame yourself for feeling the way you did or making the 'wrong' decision. There is a sense of urgency with abortions. No one wants a late one so the earlier the better. That adds a lot of pressure on women's decision making and can sometimes force them into making a decision before they're ready.

It sounds like you had a scare and you reacted in the way you felt best at the time. Hopefully baby is ok, but if not, try not to beat yourself up. Life is hard enough.

Swipe left for the next trending thread