Auldjosey - I'm sorry for what happened to you, I'm sorry for everyone who has been through it. There is limited justice and the odds are stacked against us.
The consequences on my life these past few years have been pretty awful, but I remind myself daily (not to sound too wanky), the future is here, the future is now and I will not let the past define me. Some days it does and some days it doesn't, thankfully the time periods and frequency between the bad days is lengthening. A recent change in jobs has helped me massively.
I've also started attending a support group to help with my drinking which was out of hand and holding me back (to put it mildly) i was trying to numb the pain, but it only made things much harder in the long run. I was functional, to a point, but it's robbed me of a lot these past few years, and I refuse to give into it, even with set backs, as that really would be letting them all win.
In terms of counselling, I was lucky enough that the company i then worked for were able to provide me with immediate access to a specialist counsellor to deal with the initial aftermath, what I didn't anticipate was the need for counselling after the charges were dismissed/ hung. It's damaged me for two years and after finally engaging with a rape charity a month ago, I've been advised that even waiting for an assessment will take at least 7 weeks, and if it is decided i need counselling (I really hope so) then the wait will be at least a year. I have tried other avenues such as my GPs who i approached last summer, but this wont be specialist in nature and I've heard nothing back since being referred to my local mental health service, despite chasing. In this area i just won't be a high priority as outwardly im mainly functional and capable, despite how I feel inside.
I realised I needed to start speaking out and get help with everything that's been in the news recently about survivor assistance waiting times/ recorded evidence not securing a conviction/ phones taken away as evidence/ low conviction rates etc, as I've experienced it all and I feel thoroughly let down. How can any of us truly move on if we are not afforded the help we need?