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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be fuming with dh

117 replies

midnightgirl · 30/04/2019 13:47

I'm 2 weeks post gallbladder removal surgery. I am recovering but I'm still absolutely exhausted and light headed. I've just been informed I'm cooking dinner for 8 people tonight, and dh won't be home till later. Also I have learnt he has booked an overnight stay at Alton towers this weekend, I can barely walk around too much never mind go on rollercoasters. I obviously can't go but my dcs are disappointed so I feel guilty. He doesn't want to go on his own with 4 kids. I'm fuming with him for putting me in this position

OP posts:

Illy603 · 30/04/2019 16:08

He’s sounds like a right inconsiderate ass at the moment!

If he’s genuinely not going to cancel, can’t you give the relatives a quick call and explain you’re still not 100% and would they mind rearranging- likely they don’t even know you’re still struggling.
If for some piss poor reason there’s no way of getting out of this meal, I’d wait til they’re all round and explain you haven’t cooked due to your current state but are willing to order in takeaway (they pay their share of course)

As for AT, sounds like he was hoping you would be up to it but is now just being inconsiderate. I’m sure he could sell the tickets, so he doesn’t lose the money and wait until you’re feeing fit enough to go!

Just put your foot down OP, your health is more important that him saving face!

FreeFreesia · 30/04/2019 16:11

I would order the takeaway and hope it was just tepid leftovers by the time your DH gets home. Yes I'd be sinking to his level.

MargotsFlounceyBlouse · 30/04/2019 16:14

My XH used to do this sort of thing, totally not reading the room, nor being sensitive to the situation, probably on the spectrum tbh. Arranging things with good intentions but because he wasn't paying attention to what was going on I remember all sorts of gruesome outcomes, e.g. going camping in Scotland in FEBRUARY with an 18 month old when heavily pregnant with DS2! A lovely surprise!

Don't cook, please rest up and don't feel bad about AT - ffs going on a rollercoaster when two weeks post surgery?! It shows a colossal disrespect and lack of sensitivity towards you. I hope you're better soon.

octonoughtcake3 · 30/04/2019 16:47

Take away maybe too high fat for someone who has just had their gall bladder removed.

Original poster

midnightgirl · 30/04/2019 16:58

Well I'm nearly asleep anyway, one is here already

OP posts:

TriciaH87 · 30/04/2019 17:00

Tell him you hope he can get a refund on the weekend as his got to pay for takeaway for 8 tonight as your recovering from surgery else its soup n shop bought ready meals

VampirateQueen · 30/04/2019 17:21

In regards to Alton towers, can you give a wheelchair, or can you borrow one, I know you can't go on the rides, but you could still go and get him to push you round.
As far as cooking for 8 goes, order take away and as soon as he comes in go to bed.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/04/2019 17:22

Text

"For avoidance of doubt....I am still recovering from major surgery, therefore I will come to AT this weekend but I will be staying in the hotel room as I am simply not physically capable of walking around the park. I will also NOT be catering for everyone. You should be expecting to cook for the kids and us yourself anyway due to my illness, not inviting extra guests over and expecting me to deal with it. I will be in bed."

AWishForWingsThatWork · 30/04/2019 17:52

I wouldn't even go to the hotel. I'd tell him he's taking the kids, they're his kids, and you're going to stay home in the peace and quiet and get some rest.

And just no to the dinner tonight. He can sort it.

Original poster

midnightgirl · 30/04/2019 17:58

I did think about going to the hotel but firstly you can't check in till 3 and you've got to check out by 10am then I thought about the spa but I can't lye in my stomach yet for a massage and didn't really fancy anything else. No thanks to the wheel chair I'd hate that, no I'm not going he'll have to either change it or go on his own.

OP posts:

mummmy2017 · 30/04/2019 18:00

How old are your children?

QueenBeex · 30/04/2019 18:00

Health & recovery comes first

Jux · 30/04/2019 20:11

Actually, wheelchairs are quite fun! You can make him push you about as penanc

OR, even better, hire a motorised one and spend the day whizzing about making him run about after you.

Shopmobility hire them out, and so do many charities. We have a local one which hire our scooters and chairs. See if you can hire one for a week so you can pick it up now and practise before you go to AT with it. Highly recommended!

RandomMess · 30/04/2019 20:17

The two people I know that had keyhole GB removal were very unwell for 4 weeks afterwards and took them 2-3 months to feel "better". One of them has never fully recovered!

PositiveVibez · 30/04/2019 20:26

You need to grow some fanny baws, doll

Hands down. That is the best sentence I've read on MN 🤣🤣

Next time I'm feeling unsure about something, or am hesitant in saying 'no', to something I don't want to do, I will think to myself 'grow some fanny baws doll' 👏👏

Unburnished · 02/05/2019 11:36

You need to grow some fanny baws, doll

What the hell are fanny baws?

GummyGoddess · 03/05/2019 01:19

Balls, aka ovaries

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