To be fuming with dh

[midnightgirl]

I'm 2 weeks post gallbladder removal surgery. I am recovering but I'm still absolutely exhausted and light headed. I've just been informed I'm cooking dinner for 8 people tonight, and dh won't be home till later. Also I have learnt he has booked an overnight stay at Alton towers this weekend, I can barely walk around too much never mind go on rollercoasters. I obviously can't go but my dcs are disappointed so I feel guilty. He doesn't want to go on his own with 4 kids. I'm fuming with him for putting me in this position

"Why are you so Ill?" What a naive,passive aggressive and ignorant remark! I had GB surgery (old fashioned one with severe complications while pregnant) but the laparoscopic version is still a lot! You may have anemia or a postoperative infection. Cannot believe your husband's inconsiderate behavior. Good luck OP I hope your recovery is speedy and you can get answers. Is the reason you feel so awful is because you're taking care of four children and your husband?

Don’t sabotage your recovery to do any of this stuff, you only get ONE chance to recover from major surgery, don’t mess it up.

Ok you made that sound as though you dp had decided to through a dinner party, that you were to cater for 6 other adults. Phone a take away, what's the big deal? DP can do the dishes and clearing up after. As for Alton towers, he probably thought you would be up and about by now. If it was booked before you became ill then there's not much that can be done, and of course the children will be disappointed.

Take away is your friend, your husband is not (at the moment). Take it easy and get some rest.

Or if you can't be bothered with the 2 extra people to entertain then just rearrange it for a different night.

Can't be bothered??? Another fucking stupid comment

@Drogosnextwife 8 people is still 8 people and when there is 2 adult guests it does become a dinner party!!! So it is a big deal and it's the fact he's expecting me to still go to AT!

I had my gallbladder out a few years ago.
For something that most people don’t realise exist the recovery is slow. Think part of it is the change to the digestive system.
I would not be putting on the hostess with the mostess act. As for a theme park you probably won’t be able to go on many of the rides because of health safety restrictions let alone wanting to in the first place

Can't be bothered??? Another fucking stupid comment

totally agree...

OP take good care of yourself and please let yourself heal, and do no run around after all these people.. family or not.. clearly your DH does not give two shits about your health

Dh or a teenager needs to order in food for tonight.

Your dh needs to either postpone the trip to AT, go himself with all of the children or rope in a friend to help.

Leaving aside the rides, it's not going to be realistic for you to be on your feet carrying bags for a whole day or more.

Why are you so I'll still?

How long did it take you to fully recover enough to go on rollercoasters, cook for a large number of people and entertain?

He doesn't want to go on his own with 4 kids.

Tough. He booked it, he should go with the kids. Give you some much needed down time to aid your recovery.

Another vote for going to bed when he gets home. Do not engage with this madness. When it has calmed down, have a conversation about mutual respect.

Just get him to order pizza then take to your bed.

OP having read some of your other posts is your husband fit to be going on rollorcoasters considering his habit of getting paralytic so soon after a massive heart attack? Make sure he's got life insurance!

Seeing as the kids are 12 and over and your stepdaughters tell you they hate you I'd definitely let them go alone.

My dm had this same surgery 2 years ago.
She felt okay and decided to carry on as normal.
She burst her internal stitches/ staples and ended up very unwell indeed.
Please put you first and rest.
Got to bed and let you husband entertain or cancel.
Get well soon

Honestly if you stand for this then you are a bigger fucking eejit. Tell him cancel or if he doesn't you are going out and he can do whatever he likes but you won't be there for it

I had GB surgery a few years ago, I am a normally very fit and healthy person and it took me nearly over a month to start to feel fully better.
Gallstones are the worst pain i have ever encountered and after surgery my body took a while to adjust without a gallbladder.
Your DH is hugely unreasonable, tell him to organise dinner tonight, you should message him and ask what your all eating? Make it clear that you are not well enough to participate in the process.
As for Alton towers, plenty of single parents take all their children and cope-he should go with the children and muddle through without you.
People recover differently and you should take your time.

I think you tell your DH if he had invited guests then he has to feed them. Takeaway will suffice. He can collect it on the way home.

The AT trip is just ludicrous. Doesn't he have a friend or family member who can take all the DC away with him and leave you at home in peace to get better?

Send him a link for Just Eat or deliveroo or whatever is in your area, with instructions to order and pay for 8 meals for tonight.

Then go to bed and rest!

No AT, no cooking, no anything until you're feeling better and back on your feet properly. I'm always a bit by a parent who can't take their children anywhere without adult help. It's invariably fathers too. Yet mothers just do it, it seems.

Also, whoever asked OP why she's still ill, a) that's none of your business and b) she's just had surgery which is quite an ordeal physically and mentally!

Just say No. ”No, I will not be cooking tonight, dh - you can take everyone out or cancel, or cater yourself, and I will be in bed. And No, I will not be going to Alton Towers this weekend.”

That's just a big fat no. He invited 2 relatives and 2 SDCs? He must be there to provide for them otherwise they are simply uninvited.

AT? Well nice of him to surprise you, but in the circumstances it's impossible and he can either stay home and waste the tickets, take HIS DCs and you get a restful day at home, or he changes the dates.

Is he really stupid or something?

Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. To either cooking or AT

He's inconsiderate. He can do the cooking, order in, or take all of you out. He's completely out of order.

"Why are you still ill?"
Why is that your business and how is that even relevant?

If you overdo things OP you could really do yourself some serious internal damage. Listen to your body OP and rest. Cancel the adult guests and get DH to organise the take away.

As for AT either reschedule or tell DH to get a friend or other relative to go with him.

I've got myself so wound up about it! I have said he can cook and to get his arse home, he's in a mood now telling me he can't drop everything they will be there after the school run, he'll do his best to get home for 5. I forgot to mention 2 of the dcs are off school ill my dd was sent home with a migraine, so I have been looking after them too, not a great deal as they not toddlers just cooking and getting medicine etc. What about me. Just feeling sorry for myself

Order a takeaway for tonight, and tell DH to postpone the AT trip.