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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have left?

119 replies

Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 20:54

Today, DH, DS (2.5), and PIL went into a pop up art gallery. DS was not in a pram and wandering around with a plastic caterpillar, the lady running the art gallery was quite sweet with him (when she thought we were buying art!). To be 100% fair we should have put him in the pram simply do to the location.

DS accidentally tripped and knocked one of the fake wall panels (sort of like a plank of plaster in the middle of the room) with his shoulder, which weren't screwed in well. The wall jolted and two framed prints fell off the back. The canvasses were absolutely fine and the frames had two tiny (I mean about 1-2mm at most), which were hard to see as the frame were antique style and therefore distressed. The frames were just hung on one small nail (I attach photos) and the walls weren't stable at all (I attach photos of the poorly done fittings).

We obviously felt awful and apologised profusely and asks PIL to take DS out of shop whilst we discussed what to do. The lady went mental. We asked her what she would like us to do, she screamed at us that we weren't going to get away with it. We said clearly we weren't trying to and we're standing there hat in hands wanting to find a resolution. We offered to contact the artist (out of the country apparently), pay her insurance deductible (no insurance apparently), take the frames to the framer to ask them to touch up the paint or get fixed, or just pay £500 towards costs of her getting the frames fixed. She was not having it and only wanted us to buy the prints- for £3.5k!!!!

I said we weren't willing to do that as a) the frames were barely damaged at all, b) the prints were totally fine, the wall was not secure and the prints weren't hung safely.

She kept trying to muddy the issue and force us to pay. She wouldn't entertain any other discussion. Four blokes were in the shop and heard the argument and said if they were us, they would leave. I offered to call the police or a lawyer friend to discuss liability. She refused. We asked her for a solution she wanted- she said full ticket price. So I said, well, we will leave then, and you can deal with it. I said she should have insurance!

Only when she thought we were going to leave did she want to negotiate. She stormed over to the paintings, and GET THIS, gently knocked the same wall and ANOTHER PAINTING FELL OFF. She said that was our fault too!

So I said I would take photos of the damage and contact the artist myself. She then picked the photos up and hid them, saying she would only bring them back if she took my details. I said no, we had tried to be reasonable, so we left.

First: AIBU

Second: what would you do now? The damage was seriously minimal and actually didn't look any different than the distressed effect. I also do not know if the frames were already dinted as others in the collection were (photos attached).

OP posts:
Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 20:56

Here are some photos

To have left?
To have left?
To have left?
OP posts:
Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 20:58

Also- those weren't the holes we left, just showing what the wall looked like and what was used to hold up heavy prints worth 3.5k!

OP posts:
Stressedout10 · 28/04/2019 20:59

No photos but I don't think you were unreasonable

SnowyAlpsandPeaks · 28/04/2019 20:59

No photos attached

ProbablyMyMillionthNameChange · 28/04/2019 20:59

can't see the photos

LittleLongDog · 28/04/2019 21:01

I can’t see the photos but what you describe makes me think YANBU.

Ellie56 · 28/04/2019 21:03

Can't see any photos but think you were more than reasonable offering £500 .

She sounds batshit.Hmm

HundredMilesAnHour · 28/04/2019 21:05

The woman sounds bonkers (but maybe this is her livelihood and telling the artist about the damage could lose her business so she reacted unreasonably). However, I do think you were unreasonable to let a 2.5 year old wander round an art gallery in the first place. Why wasn't one of you holding his hand at least?

ShirleyPhallus · 28/04/2019 21:06

No photos but she sounds batshit

But a toddler running around an art gallery is a recipe for disaster so probably wasn’t appropriate

scarecrowhead · 28/04/2019 21:06

I can see the pics, the hooks are flimsy but you shouldn't have let a toddler wander around either

Newbie1981 · 28/04/2019 21:08

She's a nob! You're totally right and she should have taken your apology. You tried to resolve and had no choice but to leave. Her attitude actually lost 500 towards fixing it, haha bet she regrets that now!

Cryalot2 · 28/04/2019 21:09

Oh how awful.
I think they should have been covered by insurance.
I assume there was no notice about children? If not well ....

Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:14

I totally agree that we should have had DS in the pram. We clearly kept him away from the art but had not anticipated the wall issue. It's because we should not have had him out I was so willing to try to find a resolution!

@Cryalot2 no signs, she in fact chatted to DS for a bit about his caterpillar and asked which picture he liked. Not the point though, it was totally our own stupidity to assume an accident wouldn't happen.

OP posts:
Croprotationinthe14thcentury · 28/04/2019 21:14

You were unreasonable to let a 2.5 year old wander round an art gallery in the first place. Can't see the photos to say whether £500 was a reasonable offer though. I think when in shops with valuables/breakables you'd be better off putting your lo in the buggy or holding hands.

Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:14

I don't know how to upload photos

OP posts:
Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:15

That was anther frame with an identical dent

To have left?
OP posts:
Popcorntwice · 28/04/2019 21:17

She sounds batshit but I can't understand why on earth it would even occur to someone to let a toddler walk round an art gallery.

scarecrowhead · 28/04/2019 21:17

I'm on my phone and can see 4 pics that you've uploaded

MatchSetPoint · 28/04/2019 21:18

I’m going to be in the minority but I wouldn’t pay anything, she should have insurance for this type of thing, yes you should of had a two year old in a pram or very least holding your hand but the thing he knocked over should of been screwed in to place better, if it had fallen on your son or somebody else accidentally knocked it over it would of been her fault and you would of claimed on her public liability insurance.

I wouldn’t pay this is the exact reason people have insurance.

Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:20

@Popcorntwice yes, I totally agreed, as I said it seamed reasonable at the time as he want misbehaving and was staying near us, but we didn't account on him tripping. Ironically he tripped on the stand of the wall which was sticking out- anyone could have done that.

However, as I said, because I knew it was silly, I wanted to help fix it
.

Had the canvasses been damaged I probably would have offered to pay outright anyway.

OP posts:
ShowMeTheKittens · 28/04/2019 21:22

very funny!

ILoveMaxiBondi · 28/04/2019 21:23

I think you were right to leave.

Yes toddler should’ve been in pram, you know this already.

She definitely should have insurance!! I can’t believe she hasn’t. Do the artists that use her gallery know this?

You offered very reasonable solutions. She should’ve taken one of them.

Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:24

@MatchSetPoint good point! Frustratingly the fact that DS is a toddler is a bit of a red herring, he tripped just as anyone could have, it was a sort of makeshift shop rather than a built gallery IYSWIM.

OP posts:
Grumpasaurus · 28/04/2019 21:26

@ShowMeTheKittens what do you mean?

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ShinyShoe · 28/04/2019 21:28

YANBU and I think you tried to handle the situation more than fairly. Please don’t take a toddler to an art gallery again though! These things do happen though and you can’t turn back time. The prints weren’t damaged so you were more than reasonable to offer to repair the frames. I’m guessing that she didn’t take you up on it because she knew that they were already knocked/distressed. It’s not reasonable of her to expect you to pay if the painting wasn’t damaged. It would be like knocking a crystal vase in a shop. If it smashed you’d expect to pay but if it dropped and remained intact you wouldn’t expect to have to buy it would you?

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