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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FUMING!

101 replies

Ella1980 · 27/04/2019 14:51

So... Fiance, kids and I are in the process of moving house. Mum has been helping as she only lives next village along. She has been really useful tbf.

She has just asked me if I enjoyed my nice bottle of wine that was by my bedside table. She then admits she chucked the wine away and filled it up with water because I "shouldn't be drinking in bed".

I'm 38 ffs and we are totally skint with the house move. She'd had a go at me earlier for spending £4 on a little vase for the new home!

AIBU to think she's totally out of order?

OP posts:
HolesinTheSoles · 27/04/2019 14:58

Yes that would annoy me. Is she helping financially though or just practically? Even so £4 isn't a huge deal for a vase.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 27/04/2019 14:58

I'd be fuming too. Weird behaviour. Tell her to buy you a new bottle.

NoBaggyPants · 27/04/2019 14:59

It was a bad joke but fuming is a complete overreaction.

She's free to withdraw her help if you want to make a big deal out of nothing.

AnduinsGirl · 27/04/2019 15:01

This would really piss me off, it's really weird behaviour

DoneLikeAKipper · 27/04/2019 15:06

She's free to withdraw her help if you want to make a big deal out of nothing.

I never understand this reaction when parents/parents in law do something shitty or rude. Just because they’re doing something in kind or for free, isn’t a pass for ruining a treat the OP had paid for and was presumably looking to enjoying. In this instance, I’d be furious as well and generally I can bite my tongue/let things go. However, I’d had said at the time how unacceptable it was, and if mum couldn’t be trusted to not chuck away my rare nice treats when in my home then perhaps her help wasn’t needed anymore.

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 27/04/2019 15:07

What? She threw it away? I'd be well fucked off.

MikeUniformMike · 27/04/2019 15:08

Could you return the vase and use the money to buy another bottle of wine?

HollowTalk · 27/04/2019 15:10

She is far too involved and lacks boundaries.

Singlenotsingle · 27/04/2019 15:11

Some parents can't let go. When I remarried many years ago, the DH had a DD who came to stay with us occasionally. She was in her 20's, but when she stayed he'd turn the TV and lights off when we went to bed, and told her "it's bedtime!" Shock

grumiosmum · 27/04/2019 15:23

OP, did you drink the contents of the bottle and not noticed that the wine had turned into water Confused

JessieMcJessie · 27/04/2019 15:24

What? She was out of order to throw your wine away and borderline mad to refill with water- what’s the point of that? But why did you have an unopened bottle of wine by your bed? Would you not keep it with the glasses in the kitchen (even if you were planning to drink it in bed?Smile)

TeaForTheWin · 27/04/2019 15:29

Lol, had to laugh as my dad gets on at me constantly for drinking too much fizzy juice. I only have 1-2 cans per day. He started harping on about it yet again the other day and I said 'well I don't smoke and I don't drink' and he goes 'SO! What do you want a medal for not smoking and drinking?'

And I'm thinking aibu to be really irritated and feel that was bang out of order?

I wouldn't put it past him to tim my cans out, but if he did it would be the last straw. I mean I already feel he has crossed the line from it being about concern to it being about control.

I'd be wondering if you think it is a control issue with your mum too?

Karwomannghia · 27/04/2019 15:30

That’s very controlling behaviour. I can’t imagine doing the equivalent to my teenagers let alone a grown adult.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/04/2019 15:35

@TeaForTheWin tbf 1-2 a day is quite a lot.

I was doing that and was told by a doctor that 1-2 a week is okay and not a day.

He can't talk if he smokes and drinks though.

6demandingchildren · 27/04/2019 15:39

I would murder anyone who touches my wine

Motoko · 27/04/2019 15:40

She's a reverse Jesus, turning wine into water. (Sorry OP!)

I also never understand the attitude that because someone is helping you out, it gives them a pass to be nasty, but you always get someone on the thread trying to make the OP out to be the unreasonable one. They seem to get a kick out of it.

OP, you're not unreasonable to be pissed off. What did you say to her?

Whizzler · 27/04/2019 15:41

Next time she's popping over make sure you're slugging wine from a vase as she walks through the door.

Itssosunny · 27/04/2019 15:41

she chucked the wine away and filled it up with water

Could you return the vase and use the money to buy another bottle of wine?

GrinGrinGrin

TeaForTheWin · 27/04/2019 15:42

No he doesn't, he just didn't like it as my 'i'm entitled to my vices' sort of excuse. Yeh it probably isn't good for me but it's my unhealthy treat and I won't be quitting any time soon xD

Thunderspuds · 27/04/2019 15:42

HollowTalk Sat 27-Apr-19 15:10:46
She is far too involved and lacks boundaries.

Just this ^^ That is really annoying and invasive. My ex-MIL was helping us get settled into our new flat and when we were out she went through our medicine cabinet rearranging all the medicines, etc. She "rationalised stuff" and moved my anti-depressants into a tupperware where she also put tampons, contraceptive pills and, interestingly - a nit comb?!. The other box, for my now ex-DH (you know, "his & hers"), she put things like condoms and athletes foot cream.

Boundaries are good.....

goldenchicken · 27/04/2019 15:43

What a weird, controlling, passive-aggressive thing to do.

WTF is wrong with her?!

YANBU to be pissed off.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 27/04/2019 15:43

She's a reverse Jesus, turning wine into water.

I caan do that/

You wouldn't want to drink the water though.

Ated · 27/04/2019 15:44

You can always move out into your own place if your parents get on at you, but don't ask them for help, do it all yourself or pay for movers.

NannyRed · 27/04/2019 15:45

fuming at a joke?

Get a grip and dont sweat the small stuff

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 27/04/2019 15:47

You are most definitely owed a new bottle. What's it got to do with her where you drink it?! And why should you return a vase to buy it, you didn't tip it out!

I do agree with PP that it's a bit odd to have it by the bed and not in the kitchen until drinking it.

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