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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FUMING!

101 replies

Ella1980 · 27/04/2019 14:51

So... Fiance, kids and I are in the process of moving house. Mum has been helping as she only lives next village along. She has been really useful tbf.

She has just asked me if I enjoyed my nice bottle of wine that was by my bedside table. She then admits she chucked the wine away and filled it up with water because I "shouldn't be drinking in bed".

I'm 38 ffs and we are totally skint with the house move. She'd had a go at me earlier for spending £4 on a little vase for the new home!

AIBU to think she's totally out of order?

OP posts:
TowelNumber42 · 28/04/2019 10:44

Her logic is mad. So she thinks you should keep the wine downstairs. None of her beeswax really but if she felt a need to fix it that would involve carrying the bottle downstairs to the kitchen.

Did she really open a full bottle of wine (screw cap presumably) pour away the contents, refill with water and put the cap back on?

It's like something out of the Beano.

Purplejay · 28/04/2019 10:57

“I dont know any people that take a bottle of wine to bed.”

Really? Not sure it’s something that you would be aware of. Nothing wrong with a glass of wine in bed OP!

Would be tempted to ask her to replace it. What she did was not a joke and is just not on.

Blondieg · 28/04/2019 11:27

My husband and I love taking a cheap bottle of fizz to the bedroom and lock the door on a date night.
You drink where you want OP, clearly those that think it strange are a little strange themselves.
Your mum totally overstepping. You must talk to her about it, ask her for money to replace it. X

TacoLover · 28/04/2019 11:33

I only have 1-2 cans per day.

'only' Grin to be fair to your dad its pretty shit to be drinking 2 cans a day, saying that you dont smoke or drink isn't really an excuseWink

SihtricsHorseWitnere · 28/04/2019 12:14

"I dont know any people that take a bottle of wine to bed."

You've never brought in a bucket of ice with cold champers and strawberries and shared a glass or two and then shagged each others brains out and then sat in bed laughing and swilling some more? That's sad.

cabcab · 28/04/2019 13:01

You've never brought in a bucket of ice with cold champers and strawberries and shared a glass or two and then shagged each others brains out and then sat in bed laughing and swilling some more? That's sad.

^^this!! I'd be demanding she replace it!

M4J4 · 28/04/2019 14:00

@TeaForTheWin

Yeh it probably isn't good for me but it's my unhealthy treat and I won't be quitting any time soon xD

It's not a treat if it's every day. Confused It's a habit. Or alcoholism.

CrackersDontMatter · 28/04/2019 14:02

@M4J4

She was talking about fizzy pop not alcohol!!

CurtainsOpen · 28/04/2019 14:05

Weird. Tell her to fuck off

M4J4 · 28/04/2019 14:07

Oh I see! sorry! :D

OldUnit · 28/04/2019 14:26

Does she smoke? Go over to hers and dunk a pack in the kitchen sink.

Theoldwoman · 28/04/2019 14:47

If you are totally skint as you out it, why are you even buying a vase and wine?

I'm generally stumped.

I'm sure your Mum means well.

Motoko · 28/04/2019 15:33

Of course her mum doesn't mean well!

And why shouldn't OP celebrate moving into a new house, with a cheap bottle of wine, and a small item of décor? She's spent under a tenner on both, and now that she's actually moved, the money situation might be improving. If she really couldn't afford it, she wouldn't have bought them.

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 28/04/2019 15:40

Wait until she had a Terry’s chocolate orange at Christmas, eat it, and replace it with a real orange. Revenge is sweet.

^^ This. That is pure genius.

SometimesIGetNervous · 28/04/2019 16:11

I'm sure your Mum means well.

How does she mean well? Because she helped out, the OP should tolerate her shitty behaviour?

What the OP does with her money and where and how she drinks her wine has fuck all to do with her Mum.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 28/04/2019 16:30

If you are totally skint as you out it, why are you even buying a vase and wine? I'm generally stumped. I'm sure your Mum means well.

The vase was £4 - it’s hardly a spending spree on Ming dynasty antiques. A cheap and cheerful ornament to brighten up your new house and a glass of wine or two to christen it isn’t a lot to ask.

And if mum meant so well, why pour away wine that’s already paid for?

missteddy · 28/04/2019 16:36

Lol parents, my dad texts me about the weather, "be careful in this heat" "be careful in the rain, don't slip" "be careful of the wind"

I'm 32! Grin

If anyone threw my wine away though I'd be fuming! Lol

youknowmedontyou · 28/04/2019 18:12

@Theoldwoman mum means well by throwing away the treat OP had bought, she's skint and her "D" M throws away her hard earned treat. The mother meaning well, would've either bought another bottle or a arching vas.

Means well my arse, she's a bloody nasty controlling bitch.

BumbleBeee69 · 28/04/2019 20:33

Means well my arse, she's a bloody nasty controlling bitch

agreed

Summersunsareglowing · 28/04/2019 20:36

I wouldn't be fuming. I'd take it as a joke.

Motoko · 28/04/2019 21:38

I'd take it as a joke.

What's funny about pouring away a whole bottle of wine? A joke would be perhaps pretending you'd broken it, hiding it, and then after telling OP it's a joke, tell her where it is.

There's nothing funny in what she's done.

youknowmedontyou · 28/04/2019 21:40

I wouldn't be fuming. I'd take it as a joke.

Yeah really fucking hilarious!

Original poster
Ella1980 · 28/04/2019 22:35

I really don't think spending £4 on a vase to go on a kitchen sill in a (rented) house that we have been waiting five years to afford is that extravagant? Correct me if I'm wrong?

At 38 I really don't feel I ought to justify where I drink wine in my own home? It wasn't an expensive bottle but that's not the point-she threw away something I had purchased and I don't think that's on.

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 29/04/2019 12:35

I'd take it as a joke.

Really? There you are looking forward to something a bit special that you've treated yourself to as a little celebration. Your interfering mother tips it down the sink because she disapproves of the idea that you might be drinking in bed, and you'd take that as a joke?

Yes, of course you would, so hilarious Hmm

greenlynx · 29/04/2019 12:52

No, it’s not on. It’s a matter of principle, it’s your life and it’s your house. I would take keys back from her and tell her calmly and seriously that she has no rights to behave like this in your house. Don’t make it about wine, it’s about boundaries. Tell her this nice and clear.
My parents are like this. TBH the only way to cope is to keep them supervised all the time ( and yes, I know it sounds funny but...) They live very close to my sister and it’s a constant battle for her. I live far away so much easier. And actually it’s worse now when they are older because you feel more guilty about quarrelling with them and they need help and support so you can’t just go low contact. So I would advice to address it now.