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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be FUMING!

101 replies

Ella1980 · 27/04/2019 14:51

So... Fiance, kids and I are in the process of moving house. Mum has been helping as she only lives next village along. She has been really useful tbf.

She has just asked me if I enjoyed my nice bottle of wine that was by my bedside table. She then admits she chucked the wine away and filled it up with water because I "shouldn't be drinking in bed".

I'm 38 ffs and we are totally skint with the house move. She'd had a go at me earlier for spending £4 on a little vase for the new home!

AIBU to think she's totally out of order?

OP posts:
PegLegAntoine · 27/04/2019 15:48

I don’t like wine but if there was something I couldn’t afford often, and finally had some ready as a treat that I couldn’t then afford to replace, I’d be upset. She should replace it and learn some boundaries.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 27/04/2019 15:49

@TeaForTheWin your unhealthy treat could be a lot worse!

youknowmedontyou · 27/04/2019 15:51

You can always move out into your own place if your parents get on at you, but don't ask them for help, do it all yourself or pay for movers.

Bloody hell does OP have to suck up bad behaviour because her DM helped? Really?

I'd be fuming too OP, fucking wasteful and controlling.

cstaff · 27/04/2019 15:53

Are you sure that she didn't drink the wine that she "threw out". Just a thought.

DantesInferno · 27/04/2019 15:53

Jesus fucking Christ ! nasty sly, and gloating about how clever she was?

you should save it and give it to her for the birthday!

TeaForTheWin · 27/04/2019 15:58

@TeaForTheWin your unhealthy treat could be a lot worse!
Exactly! I take the diet version too so it's not even sugary! I think I'll start nagging him about drinking his 12 cups of tea per day and see how he likes it xD

lotusbell · 27/04/2019 16:03

My dad still tells me off if I go out without my coat zipped up and my chest exposed to the elements. Grin Annoying but he's my dad and it's how he is. If I go shopping with him and pick something up like chocolate, I get told off for impulse buying! Fuck off you owd git! Grin

BumbleBeee69 · 27/04/2019 16:04

She's bang out of order, whatever next.. pouring away your perfume because she thinks it's too scented ?! WTAF

TeaForTheWin · 27/04/2019 16:05

lotusbell

Think I'd be like thump 'oops sorry, that was me inpulse-kicking you up the arse' :D

pigsDOfly · 27/04/2019 16:05

What a bloody cheek.

What the hell has it got to do with her if you've got a bottle of wine by your bed to drink. You're a 38 year old adult not a child.

I'd be popping over to her house and emptying every bottle of anything alcoholic down the sink.

I can't believe some people think OP should suck it up because her mother is helping out with their move.

I bet she wouldn't dream of doing something like that to one of her own friends.

CoraPirbright · 27/04/2019 16:14

I would call her bluff and say “oh what a shame - that was a lovely bottle that I had bought for you to say thank you so much for all your help with the move”!!

Does she have an odd sense of humour? Or is usually horrible pass-agg & controlling?

Dubbadubbadumdum · 27/04/2019 16:16

I'd go fucking mad at her-how dare she? Why did she presume you had it there to drink, you might have had it in the bedroom as you were going to wrap a present for a friend, or to use to smash a bloody spider. She wouldn't be invited over to my home again until she made a real apology.

CantGetDecentNickname · 27/04/2019 16:17

Hi OP, weird controlling thing to do. She probably just can't see that you're not in your teens any more. I guess you are still her little girl. It isn't a joke - major requirement for jokes is that they are actually funny. It actually seems a bit spiteful. I'd be tempted to bin or empty and eat something from her food cupboard that she loves and has been saving but that would be just as petty. Best thing to do here is to seriously look upset and explain that having been short of cash, you hadn't treated yourself to anything for a while and this was something you had worked hard for and that you are upset at the level of spite involved and expect her to replace it - with the same stuff. If you can keep it serious and low tone / not too emotional, she may snap out of the parent / child mode she appears to have got into and remember that you are an adult. I find it strange people think that helping someone gives you the right to control how they live their life and be petty to them. She is helping you because she chooses to do so and I am assuming you help her back in many ways as well. Good Luck Wine

Shockers · 27/04/2019 16:17

Did she though, or is she having you on? Have you tried to open it?

pigsDOfly · 27/04/2019 16:17

CoraPirbright Good thinking. That'll take the wind out of her sails.

sackrifice · 27/04/2019 16:32

To be fair if you drunk the wine and didn't realise it was water, then it's probably ok to stop drinking the wine full stop. And why would you have wine next to your bed in the first place?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 27/04/2019 16:36

The OP can have wine by the bed, by the bath or in the toilet cistern if she feels like it. It’s her bloody house.

Treacletoots · 27/04/2019 16:41

Just wow. It sounds ridiculous but it's actually quite insidious and controlling. I think I'm my head I would have responded with. And what the fuck is it of your business, you'd better replace it. In reality, I'd be seething but then just never invite her around or unsupervised again.

M4J4 · 27/04/2019 16:43

@NannyRed

fuming at a joke?

Get a grip and dont sweat the small stuff

How is it a joke? Hmm

It could possibly have been a joke if she had said she replaced it with water but didn't actually do it. You might be rolling in money but OP is skint and it was a nice bottle of wine. How can you not get that?

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

SometimesIGetNervous · 27/04/2019 16:47

Who the fuck does something like that?

youknowmedontyou · 27/04/2019 17:05

And why would you have wine next to your bed in the first place?

Seriously? Maybe OP wanted to read a book and a glass of wine in bed, watch TV in bed and drink wine? Invite a FWB or partner o er a share a bottle and have a shag....the possibilities are endless really. Or is wine only to be drunk over a naice dinner out of cut glass crystal? Hmm

Comps83 · 27/04/2019 17:12

I’d go to her house
Find everything remotely unhealthy: boxes of chocolates, biscuits, cakes etc
And fill em with sawdust

Original poster
Ella1980 · 27/04/2019 18:23

Ateotd I'm a grown woman and feel that when and where I choose to drink wine in my own home is nobody's business but my own.

I wouldn't dream about going over to her house and chucking something of hers away!! Her house, her business, her stuff.

She knows that, unlike them, we don't have much money. It's taken us five years to move from a two-bed rental into this three-bed.

I just feel like she's treating me like a little child by "telling me off" and punishing me. I'm 38 ffs, not 12!!!

Btw, I did go over to the old house and check she wasn't having a laugh and nope, it's definitely water.

OP posts:
Motoko · 27/04/2019 18:25

Grin @SchadenfreudePersonified

@ Ated You can always move out into your own place if your parents get on at you

Erm, what made you think OP was living with her parents? She said she, her fiancé, and kids, are moving house, and as her mum lives in the next village, she's been helping. It's right there at the beginning of the post.

Original poster
Ella1980 · 27/04/2019 18:29

She was also looking in my underbed drawer as it was out to be put away and looking at all of my nice lingerie that fiance has gifted me over the years. Like it was "naughty" of me to own it. Good job I hid other "personal" things really!!! 😂

I hate being made to feel like a child.

OP posts:
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