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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

726 replies

BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 03:30

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

OP posts:
caughtinanet · 27/04/2019 14:20

You can't be serious nannyred, you wouldn't leave a 2 year old alone for a few seconds?

How on earth would you get anything done?

There's reasonable caution and totally OTT overreacting parenting.

WombatChocolate · 27/04/2019 14:37

This shows how people struggle to assess and respond to risk. There are extremes from those who won’t leave the room their child is in for seconds, to those who leave a baby in the house alone for sometimes a considerable while. Both can think their behaviour is reasonable.

Life has to continue. Parents have to tidy the house, deal with other children and get on in a way which assesses risk and minimises it to an acceptable level. Most people feel that they can be in another room or downstairs and not in the same room for short spells with a toddler or longer spells when baby is sleeping, knowing they will hear most incidents and can be back in the room within seconds - that makes the choice to leave the room both practical and reasonable from a risk angle for a parent who accepts it is impossible to remove every single possible danger scenario and who lives within that, based on common sense, practicality and a sensible assessment of risk.

Most will say it’s never necessary to leave a baby sleeping alone while you go out. They CAN be woken and taken with you on the 10 minute trip and this is the right choice because whilst something going wrong has low likelihood, when it does, it’s seriousness can be catastrophic if a parent can’t hear it or get there in seconds.

Risk assessment involves multiplying likelihood by severity. Some risks are very likely but of low magnitude. Leaving a 2 year old asleep in their cot might not have an extremely high likelihood of bad outcome, but the bad outcome itself can be terrible. When risk assessments deliver a risk above a certain level, the activity cannot go ahead unless actions can be taken to reduce likelihood or severity of outcome and therefore overall risk. Going out for 10 mins and leaving baby in cot in mind delivers an unacceptable risk outcome so it should never happen.

Ohhellothereladyface · 27/04/2019 14:40

Absolutely not.

OnlyPostInEmergencies · 27/04/2019 14:56

NSPCC advice includes:

“There might not be a specific legal age to leave children alone but it’s safe to say babies, toddlers and young children should never be left alone, even if it’s just while you pop down the road. Even if they’re sleeping peacefully when you leave they could well wake up and get very upset when you’re not there to look after them. They would not be able to protect themselves in an emergency and may even try to leave the property to find you.”

IvanaPee · 27/04/2019 15:01

Outing maybe but my mum’s toddler brother managed to choke himself to death in his cot. He got his head stuck at a weird angle.

My gran was next door having a quick cuppa.

I think ordinarily I would say something like this wasn’t a big deal but because of that I wouldn’t do it!

Vulpine · 27/04/2019 15:07

Statistically - I would be more afraid of driving a 2 year old 100 miles down a busy motorway than leaving them sleeping for 10 mins

lifeofamummy · 27/04/2019 16:19

Ok @Vulpine we get it Confused

Stopandlook · 27/04/2019 18:00

OP didn’t come back?

Talkwhilstyouwalk · 27/04/2019 18:19

No, you can't leave a 2 year old alone in a house for 10 minutes!! What if there is a fire, or a burglar, or if they just wake up and need you......

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 27/04/2019 18:26

Never in a million years....I cannot believe a sane,fully functioning adult could even consider this....your head needs a wobble OP

SoupDragon · 27/04/2019 18:28

OP didn’t come back?

Yes she did, to clarify that she was not the parent in question, does not have children nd was just discussing it with a friend.

Smotheroffive · 27/04/2019 22:26

OPs OP belies that 'update' post Sou
Soupdragon

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU

HopeGarden · 27/04/2019 22:58

I wouldn’t do this and I think it’s a terrible idea.

I accept that the risks of fire, burglaries etc are very low.

But.... 2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of ???

My 2 yr old was moved into a bed a few months before his 2nd birthday after he fell off the top of his cot. I had one colleague who’s DD broke her leg falling off the top of her cot.

I’m sure that most able bodied 2 yr olds are capable of climbing out of a cot if they’re determined enough.
I can easily imagine a 2 yr old who wakes and can’t get his mum’s attention by crying deciding that he’ll have to go to mummy himself and having a serious go at climbing out of the cot, even if he hasn’t tried it before.

And once out of a cot, there’s all manner of dangerous things a completely unsupervised 2 yr old could get up to in the typical home.

I also don’t believe that SS would think this scenario was fine simply because the law doesn’t explicitly forbid it.

justarandomtricycle · 27/04/2019 23:29

On no account do this. If leaving the house is an emergency, arrange responsible child care or take the child with you.

Really, don't do this.

Thetreeonthehill · 28/04/2019 00:28

HopeGarden yes 2 year old DGC climbed out of their cot aged 2. They’d heard the neighbours dog barking outside which provided the determination to exit the cot. Then realised the window was too high to see out of so pulled up the chair and climbed on to the windowsill. I’d heard a bit of a scuffle - I was in the next room - they’d been having a nap, and was totally shocked to see DGC stood there admiring the dog.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/04/2019 01:18

Just to add, if you genuinely urgently need something from the shop that really cannot possibly wait, a lot of taxi companies will be willing to go and fetch it on your behalf and bring it to you - kind of like taking you to do your shopping but without you actually being there.

It obviously won't be cheap (you'll pay for their journey to the shop and then their journey to your home) and they might want you to pay upfront for the journeys and the goods with a card over the phone, but at least it avoids having to leave your child unattended.

As a cheaper alternative, if any of your neighbours have a teenager and you have their number, they'd probably be willing to go for a few-minute walk to fetch it for you for the cost of the item(s) plus a fiver for their trouble.

WaxOnFeckOff · 28/04/2019 08:53

That's what risk assessment is, the chances of something happening in this scenario are quite small, but the consequences if it did are huge so it's a no go.

SoupDragon · 28/04/2019 08:58

OPs OP belies that 'update' post

No it doesn't. Confused

SoupDragon · 28/04/2019 08:59

It was not worded accurately and the OP then clarified.

Sparkles07 · 28/04/2019 17:23

YABU and social services would be very interested that you think this is ok!
What if you got knocked down by a car?? Who would know where your child is and that they need assistance?

Julieannewilson6 · 28/04/2019 17:24

Remember - Madeleine McCann - and the worlds reaction to her parents leaving her asleep 50 yards from where they were with friends.......

FairyFlake45 · 28/04/2019 17:24

YABU! Something could happen in 10mins and anyway, you think you’re only going to be 10mins but something could happen to delay you. What if you had a accident while out? 2yr old could end up being alone for a lot longer.

PolarBearkshire · 28/04/2019 17:25

Not allowed to leave the house with the vulnerable child locked in. Do you know how fast the fire spreads?
Surely there is no such shopping in the world that would be so urgent that you cant wait until the child is awake and take him with you.
I know a lady who lost her baby as she popped out for a sec her landlord came saw alone baby called social services when the lady came back there was already police etc and she never saw a baby again. Harsh . Too harsh in that instance. But shows the stand of the law on this matter for you to realise NEVER TO LEAVE a vulnerable baby too far from yourself.

Rooska1 · 28/04/2019 17:25

Are you being serious? If so you are endangering your child and it’s a safeguarding issue. Why would you risk anything happening to your child just so you can nip to the shop. I really hope you see sense.

Oscarsdaddy · 28/04/2019 17:28

The very fact you had to ask speaks volumes.