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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

726 replies

BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 03:30

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

OP posts:
Iputthescrewinthetuna · 27/04/2019 10:10

What is possibly so important that you need to make a choice between that and your 2 year old?

ethelredonagoodday · 27/04/2019 10:10

I'm a fairly relaxed parent and I wouldn't do this. Definitely not.

Purplespup16 · 27/04/2019 10:13

@Lockheart

As I said, a 2 year old child will NOT have the maturity or knowledge to keep themselves safe regardless of what they have/haven’t done in the past. Leaving a toddler unsupervised in a home will be seen as likely to cause unnecessary suffering and or harm. It doesn’t matter if they have never woken before or never climbed out of their cot. If the home is/isn’t locked or secure. If an emergency did occur the 2 year old would not be able to make themselves safe or get help, that places the child in a situation that would cause unnecessary suffering and harm.

If the child came to harm while the parent was away they most certainly would be prosecuted. It wouldn’t be seen as an accident or unavoidable.

Here is an article from the Telegraph about parents being prosecuted for leaving children unsupervised for a myriad of reasons.www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/11498123/Arrests-for-leaving-kids-home-alone-made-every-day.html

Original poster
BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 10:14

Morning, thanks for the replies. To clarify neither me nor friend did this, friend knows someone who did. She was horrified, I couldn't see the issue as it's a lot of "what ifs", many of which are very much worst case scenarios. Interesting to see what other people think.

OP posts:
Ninkaninus · 27/04/2019 10:14

No, absolutely not okay to do.

Ninkaninus · 27/04/2019 10:17

Sorry, was so horrified I had to post before RTFT.

It’s just not okay to do that with such a young child. They cannot keep themselves safe, they have no real concept of any dangers or risks, and they would have no way of protecting themselves or getting help if anything happened to the parent while out.

It’s just not worth it.

KittyInTheCradle · 27/04/2019 10:18

It's absolutely not acceptable.
Take the 2 year old to the shop! That's the responsible thing to do.

CaveDrawer · 27/04/2019 10:18

I was in the bathroom with the door open. DGD was napping in her cot in the next room also with her door open. I peeked in to find she had managed to climb out her cot, move a chair up to the window and was stood on the windowsill admiring the neighbours dog in the garden. I’d heard a bit of movement but was shocked to see what she’d managed to achieve in the few minutes I’d been getting ready next door. She was 2 at the time. Please don’t leave a toddler alone they are capable of far more than you think and that’s not taking into account emergency situations.

InceyWinceyette · 27/04/2019 10:21

I did occasionally pop to the shop that was literally across a narrow road. I could see the whole if the front of our house the whole time and would be out if the house for less than 5 mins.

But no way would I have gone further.

Jamiefraserskilt · 27/04/2019 10:21

Ten minutes away.
So ten there
Ten back
Plus shopping and payment time
That is 30 mins plus.
No

Langrish · 27/04/2019 10:22

Why would anyone think this was ok?
10 minutes away? An electric fault can set a house ablaze in 2. Are you driving there/walking? Either way, unforeseen accident, you’re unconscious in hospital.

Why am I even bothering to spell these scenarios out. Surely, no one is actually that stupid/irresponsible?

I don’t think this is genuine.

sanmiguel · 27/04/2019 10:23

Oh yes. Asking for a friend. Rubbish, OP!

Haffiana · 27/04/2019 10:23

Don't go to sleep in another room either! House might explode!

Lockheart · 27/04/2019 10:28

@Purplespup16 in the only case study in that article (a father leaving his daughter in the car whilst he went into a shop), the conviction was overturned. So it wasn't a crime.

What is the difference if (for example) your child, who has no record of any medical problems, has a seizure and dies whilst you're asleep in the next room, you're downstairs on the phone for 10 mins, you're outside in the garden for 10mins, or whilst you're at the corner shop for 10 mins? What makes the final one illegal neglect and the others not? Are they all illegal neglect? In none of the circumstances could you have prevented it.

Vulpine · 27/04/2019 10:30

Ive popped out for 10 mins. We all survived.

SunshineCake · 27/04/2019 10:33

Most of the time it probably would be but you have to live with the one time it wasn't. But that's okay isn't. As you'd still have your life Hmm.

Original poster
BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 10:40

sanmiguel I'm not "asking for a friend", friend and I were discussing it at work last night and disagreed so I thought I'd ask here.

As others have pointed out, if you look at my previous threads you'll see I don't have children (and clearly better keep it that way since I thought it was fine Blush)

OP posts:
BigRedBoat · 27/04/2019 10:41

Vulpine you could cross the road without looking and not get hit by a car - does that mean it's ok to not look when you cross? Just because something hasn't happened before doesn't make the risks any different for the future.

SoupDragon · 27/04/2019 10:43

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of

Thing is, unless the cot has a lid on it, you cannot be sure they can't get it (assuming no SNs or disabilities). They "can't get out" right up until one day you suddenly find that they can. I remember discovering DD could roll when she rolled from the middle of a king sized bed onto the floor whilst I was in the bathroom.

SoupDragon · 27/04/2019 10:44

Vulpine you could cross the road without looking and not get hit by a car - does that mean it's ok to not look when you cross?

I was thinking exactly that.

alseb · 27/04/2019 10:55

Child neglect. Expect intervention from Children’s Social Care and Police Child Protection if you leave a two year old alone in a house to go shopping and the matter comes to light. Wilful exposure of a child to significant harm.

gingerbiscuits · 27/04/2019 10:59

No No No No No!!!!!

What on earth is so urgently important that you need from the shops? Something more important than your child???????

Cheby · 27/04/2019 11:02

Very definitely not ok. But i can see why you might think that way OP, if you don’t have small children. If you’re not around them a lot you wouldn’t be thinking of the kind of risks that could occur, your brain wouldn’t have been trained that way by 2 years of parenting.

FWIW, my major worries, as a mother of a 2yo, would be around her attempting to climb out of the cot and injuring herself in the process. Anyone who says a 2yo can’t get out of a cot is just plain wrong. They’re ingenious and almost all of them are like champion rock climbers. 😭 My 2yo managed to get herself balanced astride the cot side in the time it took from her waking and me getting up stairs. I have a video monitor and saw the second she woke up, went up immediately and when I got into her room she was balanced about to drop over the side. I think she was 21 months at the time.

All the other stuff like choking or fire or a break in or you being injured on the way home is a risk, yes and additional reasons not to do it, but the likelihood is very low. Likelihood of child waking and becoming distressed is high, likelihood of them trying to get out of the cot is also pretty high.

LavaLampLover · 27/04/2019 11:04

I had a friend who left two children alone frequently.

She had her kids taken away. She was an alcoholic and wasn't coping but myself and two other friends were unable to help her ourselves despite trying repeatedly and social had to get involved. The children were lovely but they would wake up in the morning, or come out of their room during the day, and she wasn't there because she had popped to whichever shop she could walk to which would have alcohol. They said it frightened them because they never knew where she was and when she would be back. A two year old wouldn't have the sense of these two primary age kids, or being able to tell anyone what was happening. The two kids were psychologically messed up from it.

JustDanceAddict · 27/04/2019 11:06

Absolutely not!!

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