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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

726 replies

BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 03:30

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

OP posts:
FookMeFookYou · 27/04/2019 09:04

@Lockheart using what ifs isn't dumb as
you rudely put it. The point being made is that the risk of something happening to the OP is far higher and in turn increasing risk for the child being left alone so when you have a choice why would you choose the riskier option.

Why not just put the child in the buggy and take them with you if you're that desperate for whatever it is. Instead of putting the question to strangers on the internet for a sanity check.

Anyone who's ever had something happen to them, a scenario that seems outlandish but perfectly possible would tell you they thought those things happened to other ppl and not them.

CupOhTea · 27/04/2019 09:04

@DerelictWreck

I saw that thread and almost every poster said they wouldn’t do it themselves. They just said they wouldn’t be too incensed if they knew someone else did it. I think the difference here is that if op did get hit by car etc, nobody would know the baby was in the house.

I wouldn’t do either, but a baby / toddler alone in a house is worse to me than a car in the nursery car park.

RainRainGoAwayPlease · 27/04/2019 09:08

Thought you were going to say the shower or the garden not actually leave the house!! I wouldn't absolutely not, you've locked them in great, but what if there's a fire or they wake up and try to climb out? My son is nearly 2 and will climb on anything that presents itself!

Don't do it, wait for them to wake up and take them with you, you don't need milk that badly!!

Buggeredpelvicfloor2013 · 27/04/2019 09:12

I don't think the OP did this, it's a reverse I think. I seem to remember a thread from the OP about paying for someone else's kids to go on holiday and that she was childfree? Could be wrong. Whoever did do this wants their head checking though, its awful.

Kahlua4me · 27/04/2019 09:15

Long before I had dc I popped out to the local shop one Sunday to buy a newspaper. Should have only been gone 10 minutes max but unfortunately had a car accident that was completely not my fault.

It resulted in me being knocked unconscious for 4 hours, having to be cut out of the car by the fire brigade and spending 2 weeks in hospitals with head injury and broken bones.

Obviously these accidents are rare but possible so please don’t leave dc at home alone...

Purplespup16 · 27/04/2019 09:16

Lockheart It IS illegal!!! 😡 The law on leaving your child on their own

It is ambiguous on purpose as children’s maturity level varies. You can not argue that a 2 year old is mature enough to know what to do in an emergency or how to keep themselves safe (ie hot water taps, cleaning chemicals ect). So it would be deemed as placing the child at risk regardless of them never waking/climbing out of cot/being able to let themselves out of the house!

Lockheart · 27/04/2019 09:18

No @Calledyoulastnightfromglasgow, it would only be illegal if you could prove the child was left at risk of harm. Just leaving a child on its own, asleep in their bed, is not illegal. There is no age at which it is illegal to leave a child at home alone.

Whether it's a good idea is another matter. Whether we like it or not, there are tens of thousands of parents who leave their children alone. The vast majority of them are committing no crime by doing so.

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 27/04/2019 09:19

No I would never do this. I've never been tempted to do this. Anything that you need from a shop can wait as the child is the priority.

Lockheart · 27/04/2019 09:22

@Purplespup16 if you read the link you've posted, you will see it says "Parents can be prosecuted if they leave a child unsupervised ‘in a manner likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury to health'".

So leaving a sleeping child in a locked house for 10 mins, as per the OP, would not be illegal, as it was not likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury.

balloonyellow · 27/04/2019 09:23

Jesus Christ no. Never leave a toddler alone in a house. This must be a joke surely? Hate to be that person on this thread, but please don’t have children if you’re not going to care for them properly! Poor little baby must have been so scared wondering where you were. At age 2 I’m not sure they understand object permanence and may just think you’ve left them and died

Actionhasmagic · 27/04/2019 09:24

YABU! Don’t do this!

wherethewildthingis · 27/04/2019 09:28

I'm a Child protection social worker, here are just a few of the situations I've dealt with over the years. Child of eight left home alone, flat below caught fire, child too scared to come out of their flat because didn't want parent to get into trouble. Rescued by fire brigade.

Baby left alone in car while parents went into supermarket. Hot day, baby quickly became distressed, passer by called police who broke car window. Parents prosecuted for neglect.

Tragically , a baby left home alone in a cot while parent nipped out for ten minutes. Had a seizure and died.

Yes this stuff does happen in real life. This is too much of a risk

TessaL23 · 27/04/2019 09:34

Never.

Orangeballon · 27/04/2019 09:44

There could be an electrical fire in the house which spreads while you are out.

slithytove · 27/04/2019 09:46

So, so stupid bordering on neglectful. Don’t do it again

SoupDragon · 27/04/2019 09:46

leaving a sleeping child in a locked house for 10 mins, as per the OP, would not be illegal, as it was not likely to cause unnecessary suffering or injury.

I don't think that is a given.

BettysLeftTentacle · 27/04/2019 09:51

10 minutes is a long time in terms of shit going wrong. It takes a split second for life to take a nasty turn and in your case OP, no one would ever even know.

Lockheart · 27/04/2019 09:56

It's not a given @SoupDragon but realistically for the vast majority of people the situation as described in the OP would not be counted as putting the child at risk of harm.

You can't factor in extremely unlikely scenarios such as the house catching fire when deciding to prosecute. You can only take into account reasonably foreseeable risks, i.e. did you leave the child in the house with a dangerous dog? Does the child have a medical record which means they need high levels of supervision? Are you leaving them for so long that they will need food / water whilst you are gone? Did you leave them with open flames or sharp objects?

You can no more say leaving them in a house which might catch fire is neglectful (unless the house is an unsafe environment) than you could say that putting them in a car is neglectful because a lorry might go into you (unless you were an unsafe driver).

In @wherethewildthingis post only one mention of prosecution was made, and that's where the parent left the baby in an obviously unsafe place (a car on a hot day). The instance with the accidents, the fire and the seizure, don't have that, but please do correct me if I'm wrong @wherethewildthingis?

lifeofamummy · 27/04/2019 09:58

Idiotic. Unreasonable is an understatement. Your poor, poor child. This is neglectful, if it was that urgent you should've woke the child and took them with you.

Vulpine · 27/04/2019 09:59

Accidents happen in the house when parents are at home too.

foreverhomefornow · 27/04/2019 10:04

Not ok. Would never do this.

My 3yo once woke up at night while I was in the bath and couldn't find me.

I heard her screaming in the kitchen and went down to find her hysterical thinking I had left her - really freaked me out!

lifeofamummy · 27/04/2019 10:04

At least then the parent could protect the child and ensure they are safe.

FloraMcDougall · 27/04/2019 10:06

You’d be vvvvu and neglectful it’s a stupid thing to even think about doing.

Luby40 · 27/04/2019 10:07

I cant even believe you think it's ok.....

Vulpine · 27/04/2019 10:08

Statistically it's probably safer than your kid playing in another room or garden whilst you're in the house

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