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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave a 2 year old for 10 mins

726 replies

BlueSuedeStiletto · 27/04/2019 03:30

2 year old asleep in a cot they can't get out of. Needed to pop to the shops. 10 minutes away if that, child asleep the whole time, doors locked etc. Friend is horrified. WIBU?

OP posts:
IrishNinja · 28/04/2019 17:51

No you're not been unreasonable. You're been fucking ridiculously stupid and irresponsible

londonbrunette24 · 28/04/2019 17:55

Seriously?!!!! I’m not wrapping this is cotton wool what a seriously irresponsible thing to do! Anything could have happened!!! This makes me so angry that a parent could even contemplate thinking of leaving her kids, for any length of time!!!!! Angry

Dontcarewhatimdoing · 28/04/2019 17:57

My biggest reason for not doing this would be in case the front door closing woke up the 2 yo, and they were then awake and upset at being alone. 10 minutes would seem like a very long time to a toddler in that situation.

Monsoon01 · 28/04/2019 17:59

Really? Are you joking?! I suspect you know it’s wrong otherwise you wouldn’t have asked the question.

LouH1981 · 28/04/2019 17:59

I wouldn’t, you just never know.
I don’t anything that would be worth the risk.

SoupDragon · 28/04/2019 18:00

For those who can't be arsed to read the thr ad or even just the OP's posts, she said Morning, thanks for the replies. To clarify neither me nor friend did this, friend knows someone who did. She was horrified, I couldn't see the issue as it's a lot of "what ifs", many of which are very much worst case scenarios. Interesting to see what other people think.

mummyofeandx · 28/04/2019 18:01

Wow I wouldn't because of the risk. I don't like to leave my 11 year old in case anything happens while out so definately not a 2 year old! The risk of what could happen to them and you is too great as most others have mentioned. You did it reading your post and were lucky but in future is it worth the risk? Not horrified that you did and I know what it is like if you need something urgent (I got snowed in with no baby milk one year with a 3 month old and a 3 year old) but could you have asked anyone else to help you or wait until she woke? I was lucky and a health visitor helped me on her way home x

Sparklfairy · 28/04/2019 18:03

I knew someone who would leave her sleeping child in their for to drive her DH to the train station. Every. Single. Morning. It was a 20 minute walk at most. She just didn't want the agg of disturbing dc. I never said anything but was horrified. This went on for years!

Gilld69 · 28/04/2019 18:03

No simple as, God forbid anything happens to him or you for that matter

Sparklfairy · 28/04/2019 18:03

Cot not for!

Joshuasmummy18 · 28/04/2019 18:06

This is a joke right? Surely no mother would actually be this irresponsible and ever think this is OK. If this is true then I think social services shohld definitely be involved with this family, anything could happen in that time!

Purplegecko · 28/04/2019 18:06

@PolarBearkshire utter BS, it is not illegal to leave a child alone, a risk assessment would have been done, child protection plans etc. Before obtaining a court order to remove a child.

JessieMcJessie · 28/04/2019 18:07

As those who have read the thread properly will know, OP has no children and was asking this question as her friend knew someone who had done it. Friend was, like 99% of those responding here, horrified. OP thought it was probably OK. I think OP’s mate has children.

OP, when you have a child you get an instinctive sense of when and where they can and can’t be left. Even when they are in a different room you get very sensitised to listening for noises, breathing/coughing type sounds etc. Whereas nipping somewhere for 10 mins seems like nothing if you say that to a fellow adult, your sense of what is and isn’t a long time gets very magnified when you are leaving a toddler in another room. I am generally quite relaxed and was surprised at how uncomfortable I felt going too far away from my DS. For example, I once drove to a retail park and parked up right outside a coffee shop. DS aged about 2 was asleep in the car seat. I went in to buy a coffee (very short queue) and I could see my car the whole time. It was not a hot day. I was gone maybe 4 minutes but it just felt WRONG. DS was fine, but I think it was that I couldn’t see or hear him (back of car has tinted windows). I used to laugh at the endless threads on here with people saying it was wrong to leave your child in the car while you paid for petrol. I still think that the risk of the car exploding or being hijacked or crashed into is laughably small, but I just don’t feel right not being able to see or hear him. (So I go to petrol stations with pay at pump now)

It’s really easy to scoop up a child and take them to the shop if you really need something urgently. That’s why your friend’s friend’s behaviour seems so inappropriate as it suggests being too lazy to strap the kid into a buggy despite the fact that most people instinctively feel uneasy leaving a child alone. You’ll get it if you do have kids, honestly.

Marshmallow91 · 28/04/2019 18:07

Is whatever you needed worth the risk of your child dying by strangulation, or starvation?

Yes, it's unlikely to happen, but so is winning the lottery, being hit by a falling asteroid, dying by a turtle falling on your head, being murdered or choking to death on soup, but guess what? - they've all happened to more than one person.

Your logic of "I'll just be 2 minutes" is like crossing the road without looking "because cars will stop if I'm crossing ". Yes - they probably will, but sooner or later one won't

Nataliejayne26 · 28/04/2019 18:09

Wont even leave my 8 year old in the house on his own... dont understand how this is even considered!!!!

clarehhh · 28/04/2019 18:10

Lots of 2 year olds break bones climbing out of cots.What if you were burgled? What if you had a medical incident and went to hospital. Is it worth risking the life of a defenceless baby.You could go to prison for that or have baby taken into care.

Purplegecko · 28/04/2019 18:10

I wouldn't leave a toddler alone no, if they wake up or, more likely, if I got injured on the way and my child was left alone for longer period of time, without anyone realising she was alone...

Noodles12 · 28/04/2019 18:11

What was so important to get from the shop?

Arkenfield3001 · 28/04/2019 18:13

A two year old can and will climb out of their cot plus it’s not worth the aggro if someone reports you to Social Services.

Having said that - legally you are allowed to provided nothing happens!

sparklytwinklyfairylights · 28/04/2019 18:15

Yes you'd bu to do this. Surely whatever you've run out of can wait till the baby wakes up

LouH1981 · 28/04/2019 18:15

I don’t know anything..

lily2403 · 28/04/2019 18:16

Absolutely not...anything can happen

Lou12124 · 28/04/2019 18:19

@cdtaylornats

You are in the house to hear if there is an issue and respond quicker....and you dont run the risk of getting hit by a car or something else more sinister if you are in the house??

LostSoul69 · 28/04/2019 18:21

Yes chill out. She’s asleep! Just buzz a neighbour or leave a note in the car in case anything happens to you. The world has gone mad! My kids are fine and I did it, so did my parents and grandparents. If she is likely to wake or you have an open fire then obviously not but if you are a loving caring mum, which I’m sure you are you will be mentally healthier for 10mins of freedom!!

stargazerlil · 28/04/2019 18:21

No its not a cat or small dog, you dont leave babies alone for one second let alone 10 minutes, what if you accidentally locked yourself out or got knocked down by a car. doesn't bear thinking about does it.