to be upset my dad bought me a nightie from asda for my birthday?

[canmummy]

My dad lives abroad and I don't see much of him any more but tbh he and my step-mum are leaving us out of family occasions more and more.

Saw him (briefly) yesterday and he gave me my birthday present and couldn't believe what he'd got me! No thought could have gone into this and certainly no expense.

Dh says I should be grateful I got something at all but then even he agreed it was an odd present to get your daughter

It sounds like you are starting to miss both.

I'll update you all in an hour or so when dh has gone to work - he'll find it hard if he sees me in tears again over him.

Have you tried writing a letter to your dad?

Well he rarely used to visit us when he lived in this country but now he actively leaves us out.

We were told we weren't going to be invited to a family wedding then got an invitation one week before so it was too late to arrange travel and time off to go. This sort of thing has happened 3 times now so it looks like it was our decision not to go.

When my step-brother had a baby girl he told me they were excited as it was the 1st baby girl in the family - I had 2 dd's at that time.

He recently told me he forgot I had children and often struggles to remember their names. Their "round robin" of christmas cards with pictures of their grandchildren on had the wrong date of birth for dd2. Their congratulations card for dd3 had the wrong name for dd1 on (I like to think it was the florist that made the mistake)

He rang me a couple of months ago to say he'd just arrived back home after spending 10 days in England and not telling me once.

The list goes on and to be honest I don't usually get upset over it because I've kind of got used to it. I think I get upset because I'm finding out he's inviting my brother, step-brothers and aunt to these family occasions but not me. I used to be "daddy's little girl" and he'd have done anything for me and yesterday he told me he misses me but hardly said 2 words to me.

I'm glad I've got this off my chest nobody need even reply if they don't want!

canmummy

I can understand how you feel, i don't have a good relationship with my dad. My DH also finds it hard to understand why my dad has choosen not to have much to do with his children.

Is it possible that your dad is feeling guilty about how he is treating you, so he try's to ignore you (sorry if that upsets you). So he see your brother/step brothers as he doesn't have the same feeling towards them so it is easier for him iyswim.

Lizziemun you might have something there - my brother told me that every time my dad rings him he always tells my brother to keep in touch with me and make sure I'm ok.

I really think my step-mum is behind all this as we were quite close until a few years back when she behaved really inappropriately at dd1's christening. I was that mad I sent her a letter (which is why I don't think I could write my dad a letter in case they think here we go again)

reading this I can see why you're upset You must feel frustrated too, not knowing what to do? I'd be so sad too.

My father's a wanker am still waiting on some sort of acknowledgement from him that he has a 19 month old grandson. Nevermind, I have a lovely family, who give me more than enough love. Chin up canmummy, at least you got a gift.

canmummy he sounds like a selfish wanker

I know this doesnt help you but the way he treats and makes you feel it seems like you would be better off with no contact at all.

Do you think your stepmother may be jealous of you?

This is your dad - hence male and old. You don't think he could be an innocent victim of mad present-i-tis? I had a boss who bought me a 'forever friends' (you know, the teddy bears) book . And my dad bought me a grey rucksack (which he 'borrowed' immediately) for my 16th. Perhaps your dad usually relies on women in his life to do presents and such, and had some old fashioned idea that a nightie was a sure winner?

I'd give him a break - it''s not a masculine kind of snub.

actually - I only read the OP - sorry about your step mum issues.