People bringing their own food to your house

[Catinthetwat]

Is it me or is this odd behaviour?

I have a friend who brings her own drinks to my house, e.g. a can of coke in her bag.

My in-laws do it too and I can't get my head around it. It's not like bringing a gift, they bring stuff for themselves. They bring stuff they like, rather than stuff we like, so it's not a gift. Though they do attempt to offer things around sometimes.

Am I missing something? I wonder if they don't want me to buy stuff for them, but I do obviously and then just end up with twice as much because they've brought their own!

If I have a tin or bottle of water on the go I'll drink that. Im not seeing the issue. I wouldnt expect you to have a random tin of diet coke in the fridge just in case I visited.

I don't go somewhere expecting them to have cans of pop in. I don't drink tea or coffee so can't see the problem.

Yeah I'll often take a can of Diet Coke if I visit my mum or a friend. I'm not big on endless tea and coffee and often just want something fizzy.

I think it's weird. Bringing stuff to share is kind. Bringing stuff to consume yourself is basically saying you don't like what's on offer. It's pretty rude, actually.

DH will often bring a soda. Hosts frequently supply an assortment of alcoholic beverages, but if he wants a treat at a party, he just wants a non-diet soda and that is rarely available.

I bring a little something for dd to eat most places, but that is because she has sensory issues and her food pickiness is epic. I don’t expect anyone else to cater for her.

I take coke to my sister’s and mum’s because they don’t drink it so don’t have it.

Oh and I bring coffee to my in-laws if they are hosting brunch. Fil goes out for his coffee every morning and they don’t keep anything in the house for making it.

If I know someone doesn't have Pepsi Max (which I love to drink at social occasions) then I'll take some.

But take it and give to hosts as a "I bought this for us" and bring enough to share.

Usually take some cake or something sweet too. But that's because I'm GF and would like something I can enjoy. Others are more than welcome to GF if they want or can enjoy the stuff that's usually on offer I can't have!

If they are fussy then it's perfectly reasonable. I don't have fizzy drinks at home so step fil brings soda if he ever visits not that he's been for several years (a thread on its own).

That doesn't sound too bad, but as a rule, I think bringing your own food to eat is rude. My MIL used to bring her own milk, bread, etc. Then started bringing her own mug and cutlery and then started changing the sheets on the guest bed to her own. Didn't do it in anyone else's house so was definitely being rude.

Who cares ? It's not like they're bringing a joint of beef to snack on.

I do. But that’s because I have allergies and medical problems so bringing my own makes sense. But no one asks me round anymore as they say feeding me is too hard

Does your friend mainly drink coke? If so, do you buy some in for her?

Don'tgiveamonkeys I don't think anyone reasonable would find someone with food allergies and medical problems bringing their own food rude. I would want someone to be able to come to my house and not be ill! But I would try and accommodate some one's needs if they let me know in advance.

I feel it's okay, my DH has an issue with food (nearing an eating disorder) so will almost panic if its something different. However people are always aware of it and done react

My in-laws like bringing prosecco or champagne and we help them drink it. If they brought a few cans of coke instead that would be less of a "sharing" thing, but we never have any so it would be sensible if that's what they want to drink. They've brought so much that we have some in the garage we cycle into the fridge to be child when they arrive and the latest offerings go into the garage for next time. They'd need to bring all their own food as well for me to think about it much; sometimes we have people bring extra sharing dishes if it's a big party though, so again I might not notice. I don't know if I'm missing something about how the OP's friends behave that does make them weird or if I'm just relaxed, but I'm definitely happy that my in-laws prefer booze to fizzy pop.

*chilled not child

I take a can of drink to MIL’s because her drinking glasses smell weird and are always smudged so I’d rather not have a cold drink from hers.... I will if I pour it as I’ll wash a glass first but it’s just easier to bring a can.

Do you not have things they like in preparation for a visit? If not, that’s why they bring their own.

‘Who cares ? It's not like they're bringing a joint of beef to snack on.’

I need a friend who brings random roasts.

If I'm staying more than a few hours I'll bring some of the things I like/need/enjoy and not expect my hosts to provide them. As well as a little gift for the hosts.

don't see a problem. If they were invited for dinner and brought their own packed lunch - that would be odd. But a can of cola for themselves wouldn't bother me

Maybe she wants to drink cola and knows you don’t have any? I sometimes take a can of cola to a friends if I don’t fancy tea/coffee as I know she doesn’t drink fizzy drinks so obviously doesn’t have any in.

I’d never take food to eat though, food to share yes but not for just me to eat. However I could understand a really fussy eater or someone with lots of allergies taking food.

People seem to be offended by just about everything these days.

Some people always have drinks and snacks in their bags no matter where they go.

I'm not sure what they think is going to happen if they don't.

I'd love it. I'm a terrible host and have been known to forget to even offer a drink to guests. Everyone who comes to my house knows to ask now or help themselves.

I would assume she really likes coke and isn't assuming you'd have any in (I wouldn't). It's not like she's bringing a picnic to your dinner party so I don't think it's too strange.