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AIBU?

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Original poster

friend being ridiculous wishing for a small baby?

108 replies

essexgirl12 · 25/04/2019 13:50

me and my friend were chatting about babies.

friend: "i have heard that the birth weight of your baby is to do with the birth weight of the baby's father. my boyfriend was 10lbs when he was born so i hope i don't have a 10lb baby like that!"

me: "it depends on lots of things i don't think it is just that - my brother was 11lbs when he was born!"

friend: "oh i would hate that - i don't want a big chunky baby - i kind of hope my baby is premature and small and cute and diddy"

.........?? stunned to silence really

OP posts:
TerryWogansWilly · 25/04/2019 14:27

Ive known many people say they had premature babies, when the baby was born after 37 weeks. I don't think she means actually premature. People dont understand that a couple weeks earlier than your due date is not premature.

And having had a very large baby i can say it's no fucking picnic and she's not wrong to hope it's not 10 pounds. She's probably really scared and taking the piss out if her on MN isnt what a good friend would do.

MrsKoala · 25/04/2019 14:28

This small babies are cute is a new one on me. I thought it was the opposite - that everyone thought chunky chubby babies are cutest. Small babies look terrifyingly fragile to me and I wince when I think about holding them for fear of hurting. Mine looked like they could withstand a good squeeze!

TerryWogansWilly · 25/04/2019 14:29

Large babies are more at risk of shoulder dystocia (not even going to try and spell it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2019 14:30

I've heard reports of some (usually younger) women who, upon being warned that smoking can lead to a lower birth weight, seize on this and actually see it as a benefit and a specific reason not to give up smoking when pregnant.

I do hope that such cases are extremely rare.

Theweasleytwins · 25/04/2019 14:30

I mean a 10lb baby would be a little daunting but my twins were 6.15 and 5.5 so carried more than that
Its scary holding such a small baby, wouldnt wish for a preemie
My latest was only 7.13 and she was 13 days late

TerryWogansWilly · 25/04/2019 14:33

What an idiot. have had a 7lbs baby and a 8lbs 15oz baby and having the bigger one didn't hurt any more.

Yeah, do you really not think there's a difference between 7 and ten pounds though?

AudacityOfHope · 25/04/2019 14:33

I worked with a girl (I do mean girl, she was very young) who developed a real phobia of delivering a big baby, and was sectioned because she began starving herself, only eating castor oil to make herself ill, so that her baby didn't grow too much.

It's not something to wish for.

I'd guess it's a stupid thing she's said because she's not there yet in life. It's easy to say shit when something isn't meaningful in your own life yet.

BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 14:33

I know women who have not stopped smoking because they want a small baby- they think (wrongly) that smaller babies mean easier births. Angry

I have to say, I had enormous babies, and I did feel a slight pang of regret at never having a dinky little one that actually fitted into newborn clothes.. Particularly when my niece had a robustly healthy 6 pounder that looked like the most enchanting fairy baby you ever saw. But I had firm words with myself about how ridiculous I was being......

TerryWogansWilly · 25/04/2019 14:34

My smallest was 9 and my largest over 10. And the 9 pounder was by far the easiest.
It's really not that easy pushing out a massive baby.

steff13 · 25/04/2019 14:35

Most people think smaller babies are cuter.

That's not been my experience. I think most people find chunky little doughball babies to be cuter.

My huband and I both weighed in the 6lb range at birth, and our smallest baby was 7lb 15oz, our largest was 9lb 8oz. I think it's really just a crap shoot.

CupOhTea · 25/04/2019 14:36

That’s dreadful about the smoking @BertrandRussell. How completely stupid and dangerous!

Springwalk · 25/04/2019 14:38

I had a friend who deliberately tried to bring on labour at 35 weeks so she did not have to go through the last month of pregnancy and the associated size and weight gain of the last trimester (she actually went to the dr to ask him why she was so big?! Would love to have seen his face)

Incredibly she went into labour at 36 weeks. The vanity of some people, they put their looks before all else.

TerryWogansWilly · 25/04/2019 14:38

Mine were fucking adorable little fatties though.

Fatted · 25/04/2019 14:38

I'd like to think she means early rather than prem. Or maybe she is just an idiot.

I did wish for my youngest to come early. It was a horrible pregnancy, he was a big baby and by 34 weeks I was huge and struggling. Be careful what you wish for though! I ended up in the hospital with him at 37 weeks with pre-eclampsia and bells palsy. I had him at 38 weeks and he weighed 8.5lbs. Confused Early doesn't mean smaller.

elaine26 · 25/04/2019 14:38

What a stupid thing to say. My twins were born at 34 weeks ad weighed 3lb 13oz and 4lb 1oz and in special care for about 2 months. It was stressful and scary and we weren't even allowed to hold DD for a few days. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, your friend needs a reality check.

MrsKoala · 25/04/2019 14:40

My 9lb 2 baby (17 days late) had shoulder dystocia and I had terrible birth injuries. So she's not U to be concerned about this. I had to have 2 sections after this as once you've had a whopper with shoulder dystocia they don't like to risk permanent damage again. So the knock on effect of one big baby was a lot of pain and surgery. I wish so much they were all smaller so I could have had better births and more choices.

TrixieFranklin · 25/04/2019 14:40

@BernardsarenotalwaysSaints my smallest was also 5lb1!!
We were lucky they weren't even earlier and my thoughts sat watching them in their incubators in NICU struggling on their own certainly weren't oh how lucky I am they're so small (although looking back now they were super cute).

friend being ridiculous wishing for a small baby?
BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 14:40

“That's not been my experience. I think most people find chunky little doughball babies to be cuter. ”

You’d have loved dd. We used to call her “the talking cottage loaf”!

CupOhTea · 25/04/2019 14:42

My dc1 was in NICU shortly after I gave birth and there was a mum there with, (very cute), teeny twins and she kept commenting on how big and peachy dc1 (8lbs) was Smile. I think it was a compliment. I love chunky babies. But I love all babies. Yes, I’m one of those people, sorry.

blackteasplease · 25/04/2019 14:44

I think there's so much ignorance about this.

Women have almost been encouraged to think this by media I think. That they should want a small baby or that it somehow means an easier /, less painful birth.

But yes she's being U

Elderflower14 · 25/04/2019 14:44

My eldest son was very premature and only lived for two hours. My second son was 5lb 10 and dropped to 5lb 2.
Your friend needs her head read!

Tartyflette · 25/04/2019 14:44

And just to say mine (DS) was nearly 10-lb but really really pretty.
(Too pretty for a boy according to one dickhead friend.)
And most decidedly robust.

UnicornsandRainbows1 · 25/04/2019 14:45

As someone who had a 2lbs 16oz baby, I actually am quite speechless. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially when you see babies with complications in NICU and see the struggling parents. Idiot.

blackcat86 · 25/04/2019 14:46

Does her wish involve several weeks in a special care unit, having to extra precautions because your baby is small and having extra checks that they are meeting their milestones because this is the reality. DD was delivered at 38 weeks weighing 5lb 1oz. This dropped to 4lb 10ozs before left hospital. It was horrific. You're friend is being a fucking idiot and clearly isn't mature enough to be having kids any time soon

Starlive23 · 25/04/2019 14:46

Your friend sounds like a bloody idiot! I was very pleased with my 9lb 11 DD and it was really funny having to convince people she really was her age and not a few months older!

She's 13 months now and still quite tall for her age!

People are idiots op you are definitely not BU!