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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

559 replies

scarbados · 24/04/2019 13:14

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

OP posts:
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Ginburee · 25/04/2019 18:51

Please keep us updated op, my elderly rescue pussies and I are awaiting the next instalments of Scarzilla guests.

ClaireScot · 25/04/2019 18:52

I don't understand why you are letting them stay.

IncrediblySadToo · 25/04/2019 18:54

Reggie is ADORABLE. He has a real cartoon face!

I’m still sitting here like a goldfish 😲. I’m just astounded that anyone could be SO rude, it would be rude to a paid for B&B let alone a ‘friend’.

I’m not sure if I admire your good nature still letting them stay or just think you’re a completely spineless muppet 🤔. But, well, you did let Reggie get comfy on the bed & throw, and you sound really funny & nice so I think i’ll go for ‘too nice for your own good’.

Best of luck.

...and lots of updates 🤣

Earthakitty · 25/04/2019 18:55

Why are you even friends with people like this ? Just f* them off.

fluffiny31 · 25/04/2019 18:56

Good luck hope they are on their best behaviour

SuspiciouslyMinded · 25/04/2019 19:00

Tell them to put a throw over any furniture they’ve furtively shagged on because you’d DH doesn’t like getting pubes on his clothes.

This a hundred times over! Well said Tinkoschminko

OP, also please tell them to clean and disinfect your shower before they go.

letsgohooray · 25/04/2019 19:01

Update us all please!!!!

fashiondevotee · 25/04/2019 19:02

Place marking for updates on OP's outrageous guests!

CigarsofthePharoahs · 25/04/2019 19:03

They sound beyond barking mad.

Your cat, however, looks utterly adorable and I would have great fun brushing his gorgeous fluffiness and then liberally sprinkling the fluff all over their stuff.
Have fun op and make sure you've only got granary bread and thick cut marmalade in.

centralmix · 25/04/2019 19:03

3 nights, and extremely rude... it's going to be a long weekend OP. I'd have to take the mick about their rudeness at every opportunity!

nonevernotever · 25/04/2019 19:05

Ooh I love both Reggie and Mia. If Mia's already packed her bags, any chance you could persuade the pair of them to get it on very noisily in your guest bedroom in the middle of the night?

Bougie · 25/04/2019 19:08

I'd tell them that something has suddenly come up and I'm really sorry but they can't come and stay after all. If they write back with sympathy and offers of help, you can have them to stay after all, just say it was a minor issue which wasn't as serious as you thought. And maybe point out the supermarket up the road! If they don't care about your problems, then you probably don't need them in your life so just don't be available next time they want to come or answer their emails or phone calls anymore.

Mum4Blake · 25/04/2019 19:11

Send them a link to the Airbnb app. Tell them that it’s your home, and while they are welcome to stay and fit around you, if they have specific requirements which inconvenience you as hosts, that they’re probably best to find alternative accommodation

MumOfAPickle · 25/04/2019 19:13

Ringo says hi and that he’s got lots of ginger fur to contribute if you should require it OP

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?
GreenOliveOrBlackOlive · 25/04/2019 19:13

Come in Reggie.. time for the gift of a regurgitated mouse on someone’s pillow. Like a mint, but better 😄

Tinkobell · 25/04/2019 19:14

Pleeeease humiliate them over shagging in your shower!!!! Something along the lines of "TBH we were surprised you wanted to come and revisit after last time - thought you'd be looking for a hotel with a roomier shower for you both to enjoy"

lucertola28 · 25/04/2019 19:15

My longhaired white cat would happily donate some lovely white hairs. She sends her love to Reggie and tells him to keep up the good sork!

lucertola28 · 25/04/2019 19:16

*work 🙈

Mia184 · 25/04/2019 19:22

nonevernotever Thank you!
Mia is spayed so even if she and Reggie were getting it on all weekend long, it would be without consequences for her. However, she would not do it in the shower! But the fake fur thingie sounds divine!

spannerintheneck · 25/04/2019 19:28

Did you get a reply to your message of bring your own food?

wellspankmyarse · 25/04/2019 19:32

i think you should encourage reggie to sleep / cuddle up to them at night. hide some dreamies in the pillows!!

crosspelican · 25/04/2019 19:35

Will they dare to comment when they arrive with their white bread, I wonder?

cockadoodledooooo · 25/04/2019 19:39

Please text at the very last minute explaining that they can't come, you'll have to cancel their visit. Don't give a reason, don't apologise, just radio silence.

Thisisnotreallymyname · 25/04/2019 19:40

Send them the whole of this thread !

vincettenoir · 25/04/2019 19:40

Yeah they are pretty outrageous. I have some tricky dietary requirements because I’m gluten free so when I stay at my sister’s I always bring my own bread and other bits. She usually gets that stuff in for me but I wouldn’t expect her to do an extra shop. They are very presumptuous.