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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?

559 replies

scarbados · 24/04/2019 13:14

We moved to a small coastal town from a big city 3 years ago and were happy with the idea that we'd probably have friends visiting, especially during summer. We have a spare room with ensuite bathroom and it's always ready for visitors.

If people are staying, they're welcome to join us in whatever we do, go their own way or a mixture. Sometimes they eat with us, other times they eat out and at others we all eat out together. We never expect them to pay for our meals but it's nice when they do. Neither do we ever expect payment from our guests.

But ... the couple due to arrive tomorrow for 3 nights have just messaged me and asked me to make sure there's white bread and strawberry jam here for their breakfasts, and a carton of orange juice because she doesn't drink tea or coffee. (There's a supermarket at the end of the road which will be open when they get here so they could pick up their own stuff when they arrive.) Then I got a second message from the male of the pairing asking me to 'please make sure there's a clean throw over the sofa and the cat doesn't sit on it before they arrive' as after the last visit he noticed cat hair on his jeans. I use a pet hair brush daily on the sofa as I know the cat loves to sleep on it. He doesn't sit on any of the other chairs in the house, where the guest could easliy sit but he prefers the sofa.

I feel like suggesting he does his own shopping and brings a clothes brush, or books into one of the many hotels in town. He's getting 3 nights free accommodation and fed for at least 4 meals while he's here and seems to be trying to set out a list of requirements I have to meet.

AIBU to be seriously pissed off and tempted to tell them I'll book a hotel room on their behalf and they're paying for it?

OP posts:
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Moreisnnogedag · 25/04/2019 19:44

Nope bless you for being such good hosts but they are forgetting that you are not a fucking hotel. Honestly if this is a vague ex-work friend just a blunt ‘bugger off’ and dont let them stay again. It’s beyond rude on their behalf.

Bluntness100 · 25/04/2019 19:44

Blimey, if this is real I'm at a loss for words. That's as cheeky fucker as it gets. How appallingly rude of both of them.

ToftyAC · 25/04/2019 19:47

Butchy & Sunny (who are moulting horrendously at the min) have asked if you’d like them to send you a lovely bag of their soft fluff, which gets everywhere! 😂 Or whether you’d like to borrow their own sofa throw, which is covered in cat fluff 😂😂

Jux · 25/04/2019 19:48

All 3 of my cats are shedding like mad for you! They will collect it all up and it will appear neatly packaged on your doorstep in the morning! You'll have black, ginger and tabby - I think they separate the colours a tie them with ribbons.....

Anything your 'friends' say to you while they're there, reply with "Not a hotel".

Happynow001 · 25/04/2019 19:50

@GreenTulips
So sorry I've had a look but can't find it (lots of things have since gone into Mumsnet Classics where that thread went.). I'm on my phone so maybe not as easy to search on there. If I come across it later I'll send it through.

dollydee · 25/04/2019 19:50

Cheeky gits!!! At least you know you’ve decided this will be the last time you have to suffer them, even if they do try to book again!

Skandiminsk · 25/04/2019 19:53

Are these people really your friends?
It sounds like the take advantage of people & their good will. I agree with everyone, tell them politely that they are welcome to be a guest in your home & that you have a rather hectic week & let them know that anything you don’t have they can probably check out the local shop

CKWattisthemanager · 25/04/2019 19:57

OP you are far too polite for your own good. Grin

Moaningmeadowlark · 25/04/2019 19:57

Unbelievable CFs. I think you should write out an invoice to present them with at the end of their stay....

Room £300.
Breakfast £100.
Sundries £1000.
Extra hot wash cummy towels £50.
Fuel for supermarket runs £20.
Cat hair remover thingammywotsit £200.

Sprockermum · 25/04/2019 19:59

Ozzy is due a hairball anytime soon and is moulting enough for a baby's card... He's on his way lol

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?
Pinkprincess1978 · 25/04/2019 19:59

The cheek of some people astounds me - I hope Reggie gets everywhere and leaves his fur wherever he goes (in his own home) 😀

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 25/04/2019 20:00

I ❤️❤️❤️ the cat pics even more than I LURVE a CF thread.

🍿anyone?

ControversialFerret · 25/04/2019 20:01

I have two dogs in full moult at the moment - am happy to contribute!

AliceRR · 25/04/2019 20:01

I really want an update OP

Would love it if you put them in their place or told them to do one!

MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord · 25/04/2019 20:02

P.s. My gentleman ruler is currently moulting like mad as well.

I hope the next three days aren't too awful for you OP

DustyDustyKeyboard · 25/04/2019 20:05

Mners could start a business. Cat Confetti - packets of shed fur to sprinkle all over the guest room when unwanted guests are coming!!

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 25/04/2019 20:06

What a pair of arseholes.

wellspankmyarse · 25/04/2019 20:08

wish theyd hurry up now! OP text them youre in for the night....the bra is off!

Jackson511 · 25/04/2019 20:08

Just tell them something has come up and y’all won’t be around...mybe meet up at a later date. I’m southern so when you visit somebody YOU are the one that brings gifts (food/wine...something you made)...it’s rude and disrespectful for them to put any demands on you...it’s not your fault that they don’t know any better...as for your cat? That’s your cat’s house, they need to deal...what would they do if you had a sick baby, tell you to provide them with ear plugs and for you to sleep with the baby outside...don’t put yourself through that much stress. Tell them in a polite way to not come...problem solved:) good luck!

Wilberforce2 · 25/04/2019 20:09

My god OP please let this be their last stay with you. We have very good friends who moved down to Cornwall and we stay with them once a year (they also stay at ours when they come back to visit) and we would never treat them how you have been treated. We always go down with gifts/food/drink etc and take them out for dinner on our last night to say thank you.

namechangedasscared · 25/04/2019 20:09

You are a saint, OP! Glad you aren’t having them back after this visit.

Did they respond after you replied about them getting their own food?

Tessabelle74 · 25/04/2019 20:14

I'd "remember" a work trip I'd forgotten about and cancel them coming! Failing that like others have said, send them the postcode for the supermarket and a link to a lint roller on amazon!

SugaredSocks · 25/04/2019 20:21

Me too @MitziTheTabbyIsMyOverlord and yes to popcorn please I'm hoping for furballs a plenty

scarbados · 25/04/2019 20:21

They arrived at about 6. I haven't offered to feed them so they've just gone out to eat and to buy their breakfast requirements.

I scooted Reggie off the sofa as they were arriving so Mr Don'tGetHairOnMyJeans was none the wiser as cat hair doesn't show on the tacky throw. But as soon as he sat down, Reggie went and settled himself on his lap. Cat hair everywhere! (And no complaints from him - I think she may have had a word on the way here)

Another photo of Reggie for you - helping me sort out my yarn stash.

AIBU or is this friend being ultra-picky?
OP posts:
Lozz22 · 25/04/2019 20:21

Tell them to jog on regarding the shopping and maybe the Cat should have a really good brushing to get rid of all that excess fur and you really had no choice but to brush Kitty on the settee or on the bed they'll be sleeping in. I'd be sprinkling bits of moggy hair in food and drink too to guarantee a no return 😂