Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Cake-gate

529 replies

8Wina4 · 23/04/2019 23:59

I work in an office environment, in a team of around 20. Before the Easter weekend, I was chatting in the staff room on a break about how I've recently really got into baking, and one of my colleagues jokingly said that she wouldn't mind if I bought some cake to work for her to try. I promised I'd bring some home made cakes in after Easter.

Fast forward to today. I take in four different homemade cakes. I also took in some little vegan cake bites from Tesco, as we have 2 vegans in the office and I wanted them to be able to eat something nice too (everything I baked had flour/eggs in)

One of the vegans approached me at lunch, and told me that she was really disappointed that I hadn't made the effort to home bake anything vegan, and that I had promised homemade cakes, so I should have provided that for everyone. She said she didn't like the vegan cakes I'd bought from Tesco, and that she was fed up with being left out of team lunches/treats.

I was a bit taken aback, so apologised. But the more I think about it, the more I think she was actually the unreasonable one...

Thoughts?

OP posts:
EngiNerd · 25/04/2019 20:58

@BertrandRussell

I am not anti-vegan. My husband is vegan. I've had many vegan cakes after the one that gave me diarrhea. I just won't bake them myself anymore. I love baking but I won't be making a vegan cake for a while. Can't force someone to do/make something they aren't passionate about or motivated to do.

Tessabelle74 · 25/04/2019 21:06

BertrandRussell
Strange ingredients you have to buy for one cake to never use again is costly, if a vegan cake gave you the runs why would you bake one and the anti vegan sentiment is mainly because the majority of them are self righteous and pious

EllenMP · 25/04/2019 21:14

She sounds very irritable. It's probably the absence of cheese, cream and butter in her life. That would certainly make me pissy. But then I would never choose to give those things up...

Vivianebrezilletbrooks · 25/04/2019 21:17

She sounds like a preachy vegan, they expect to be pandered to, at least you thought of them but I would have told her that if that's not good enough tough and you're not making her special cakes just because she's vegan. If she's sick of being left out then perhaps SHE should make cakes for a change or should have thought of that before she became vegan.
Incredibly rude.
I'm vegetarian and don't like the majority of vegans myself.

BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 21:20

“Strange ingredients you have to buy for one cake to never use again is costly, if a vegan cake gave you the runs why would you bake one and the anti vegan sentiment is mainly because the majority of them are self righteous and pious”

1.You don’t need anything but things most bakers have in their kitchen to make a vegan cake

  1. Why would a vegan cake give you the runs unless you didn’t wash your hands properly before you started baking?
  2. How many vegans have you met to mean you can make judgements about “the majority”? What judgements could you make about non- vegans from this thread?
Fabulousdahlink · 25/04/2019 21:21

Vegan cake making is bloody difficult. I'm a good baker and its hard to turn out a vegan baked thing...even of you wanted to. I think she's being a PITA. When she brings in her homemade baking, ask her where the non vegan cakes are...I mean, you dont want some half stale shop bought effort for the non vegans do you? Let this go now..she sounds like the sort that are never happy no matter what.
At the very most I'd buy in some vegan treats from cake stall and chuck em on the freezer until next time, or just take in a basket of fruit " for those that dont want cake'. Vegans eat fruit....lol

Tessabelle74 · 25/04/2019 21:48

BertrandRussell
Thankfully I only know a couple in "real life" they're both preachy (the daughter of one going round the school lunch tables telling other kids they're eating dead flesh!) and the other one won't let her children attend parties on the off chance they might get fed a haribo on the sly! The rest are on forums or Facebook shouting about how us meat eaters are killing the planet usually whilst posting pics of themselves on far flung beaches that definitely aren't accessible on foot from the UK!

Ohtherewearethen · 25/04/2019 21:57

Bertrand I see you're still trying to deny that other people have experiences of vegans that differ from yours. Just like I'm sure other people will have different experiences of religious people, car salespeople, nurses, pet owners, etc. I repeat, just because you say you've never experienced preachy vegans it doesn't mean others haven't. They're just not mentioning other preachy or annoying types on this thread because it is specifically about an arsehole that happens to be vegan.

EngiNerd · 25/04/2019 21:58

I wash my hands plenty and properly and not just when I use the toilet. Don't assume you know my hygiene habits. I'm telling you, it was an ingredient in the cake. Cake

Ilovelblue · 25/04/2019 22:00

I quite enjoy making cakes and would often take them in for my most immediate colleagues who sat around me - some six in total. We were a very large office of around 75. One person on the next bank of desks, with whom we were all quite friendly, came over and told me he could only eat my cake (which I had not offered to him anyway) if the butter I used could be considered halal. I remember saying that mine might not be, I had no idea, so he told me which brand of butter was best. I responded by saying that if his wife wanted to make a cake, I would be happy to share it out. His wife was apparently too busy.... but it was fine for me to spend my time making cakes.

Ilovelblue · 25/04/2019 22:04

Sorry that was straying away from the original post but I meant to add that yes, I think your colleague was unbearably rude.

AlexaAmbidextra · 25/04/2019 22:22

All these people giving vegan cake recipes. The one thing I most certainly would not be doing if I was the OP would be making a vegan cake for this rude, entitled knob. If she had been that rude to me I wouldn’t give her the steam off my piss, much less bake her a cake. On second thoughts, I’ve read The Help. I might make her a chocolate cake. 😈

BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 22:25

“I'm telling you, it was an ingredient in the cake”

What was the ingredient?

Tessabelle74 · 25/04/2019 22:27

AlexaAmbidextra
Can we be friends? (I won't touch your cake though 😂)

bananasandwicheseveryday · 25/04/2019 22:28

When I take cakes in, whether homemade or shop bought, I always buy a cake for the coeliacs and a selection of fruit for anyone who chooses/can't eat cake. I do not bake vegan or diabetic suitable cakes - not because I can't be bothered, but because I generally find that shop cakes made for specific dietary needs are far nicer than what I would make. I don't have the time to experiment with new recipes, using ingredients I wouldn't normally use.
The OP is not a caterer, she was doing something nice for her colleagues and did not deserve to be spoken to in that way.

BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 22:29

“Bertrand I see you're still trying to deny that other people have experiences of vegans that differ from yours.“

No I’m not. Vegans are arseholes in the same proportion that non vegans are- despite the evidence of this thread! But saying “most” vegans are self righteous and pious is just silly.

ClaireScot · 25/04/2019 22:57

She was rude but don't tar all vegans with the same brush. I have to listen to colleagues talk at length about where they can get 'delicious' bacon sandwiches and betting on the grand national etc. I think of pigs rammed into trucks on the way to slaughter with fear in their eyes when people are going on about how much they love bacon. And don't get me going on the smells!

stayclosetoyourself · 25/04/2019 23:03

It's just her personality , not about being vegan. Most vegan people are used to making do and don't expect anything special. I attend a meeting weekly where the host makes fresh cake and provides something simple for me , oat biscuit for eg. I don't expect cake, I'm following a special diet !

stayclosetoyourself · 25/04/2019 23:06

Loving the way some posters are being incredibly rude about the OPs colleague being rude

BertrandRussell · 25/04/2019 23:08

The OP’s colleague was incredibly rude. But it wasn’t because she was a vegan- it was because she was an incredibly rude person.

Provincialbelle · 25/04/2019 23:14

First thing I’d ask is whether colleague ever brings anything herself or just scrounges

LifeImplosionImminent · 26/04/2019 00:06

OP made these cakes in her own time, in her own kitchen and using ingredients that she had paid for. She took them into work to do a nice thing. She bought the two vegan colleagues vegan cakes from Tesco. She did not have to do any of this. Making cakes is not in her job description. Nobody asked her to. Nobody paid her to. She bakes what she likes. Nobody had any right to criticise what she made. It is her absolute choice. Still, she’ll know not to bother again won’t she? ☹️

This post wins all the things. Spot on @AlexaAmbidextra If she craves home baking so much she can bake her own damn cake.

AsleepAllDay · 26/04/2019 06:20

@Ilovelblue sorry, I ate halal for many years... pretty much all butter is halal. I don't think I've encountered any that isn't, besides lard. Which is a whole other ingredient! Your coworker sounds snotty and not very well informed. Butter, ghee, vegetable shortening etc are all fine unless there was a particularly bacon infused butter!

BertrandRussell · 26/04/2019 06:45

My understanding (and I do a lot of baking for all sorts of people!) is that salted butter is almost always halal but unsalted isn’t unless it is actively certified. It’s something to do with the processing.

BertrandRussell · 26/04/2019 06:46

But he was a git to dictate. Fine to politely ask what sort of butter you used. Not fine to demand you use a particular one.