DP woman at work...

[Sotellmewhatyouwant]

So Dp works away a lot, often goes abroad to different places with different people.

This one girl who he has gone away with in the past has added him on Facebook and tried to initiate conversation saying how lovely it was to work with him etc.

She is known for trying it on with a lot of the men who she works with.

He is currently away for 8 days, with her, and others.
Now I know I shouldn't have done, (so don't flame me) but I looked on her social media and there are pictures of him that she has put up, by the pool in his swim wear type thing.
I asked him about this, as he had already lied to me the night before about going out for dinner with her and a few others, and he had flown off the handle asking why I'm looking and calling me a stalker and basically a fair few other names (including the C word which is a usual occurrence) 

Whilst I'm sat at home, AIBU to just ask that I don't see pictures of him plastered over social media after her already trying it with him (and him deleting it and lying about it) when she knows I exist?

According to DP - she has done this to get a reaction out of me. (I have never met this woman before and can't see any other reason as to why she would do this)

There are no other pictures of anyone else on this work trip that she has put up, only of him.

He has now ended the relationship while he is away as he feels I'm being completely unreasonable in asking him to just agree that it's a pretty shitty thing to see?

I'm annoyed at the lies that she was there, and about taking her side when he's already admitted that she tried it on last time...

He has now got so mad because I was upset, that he has blocked me on all forms of communication and gone out for drinks with her.

Fully ready to be flames and to be told IABU... 

He ended it while he was away with her while blaming your behaviour. How very convenient for him. I'm also calling him arriving back, wanting an apology from you so he can give you another chance. Sod that for a game of soldiers.

What's your current housing situation? Do you need to move out? Are your finances linked? This one is not going to be reasonable in a split (they hardly ever are) so take what you need.

You might want to get in touch with CAB to see what benefits you may be entitled to.

You'll definitely get a 25% reduction in council tax as you're the only working adult.

OP, I am so happy to read your update and agree that the only thing you could have done is take him at his word. Now comes the toughest part: sticking to it. Being called a cunt and other pleasantries by a verbally-abusive wanker like this can't have done anything positive for your self-esteem, and I agree with a PP that this kind of behaviour doesn't occur in isolation. You poor thing. It's bound to hurt like hell right now, but in the medium-term I guarantee you are going to feel so much happier without this hideously-unpleasant 'man' in your life.

Hope you and your pooch are safely removed before his return and that you never have to see him again. You deserve far, far better.

Good luck OP with finding yourself and your pup a flat quickly. Don't take this lying scheming man back when he returns home. You're better off without him.

Even if they are away with lots of others; nothing is going on between them; he's not interested in her etc., he's claimed that she's posting swimwear photos exclusively of your DP on her social media 'to wind you up'. If that's the case, he should have bloody told her what for and asked her to remove it. That would be a reasonable request if she has actually tried it on with him before and, in doing so, disrespected you and your relationship. Why let a meaningless work colleague deliberately goad the woman you love? He sounds like a total prick and him breaking up with you - which he's justified by blaming you - has given him a free pass for 8 days. How convenient. Let her have him (then watch her leave him and pursue another woman's partner or husband).

She's welcome to him, OP, he's no catch.

unfortunately all of my friends aren't close by, and are married so doubt they'd want me and the dog to come bunk in for a while

If they knew the situation I'm sure they'd welcome you and pup with open arms. Good luck on the flat hunt; it really does sound like he's up to no good and who the hell wants a partner who calls them the C word anyway?

You deserve much better.

Well, at least you got rid of the wooden spoon and managed to pass it on to her. silver linings and all that.

He sounds like a pilot... my ex was a pilot. They ALL cheat. Not one of the group that I knew was a faithful partner. I thought mine was one of the good ones... nope.

Of course yanbu, make sure you don't get back with this guy, the way he has treated you and spoken to you is completely unacceptable and disgusting. Move on, stay blocked

They deserve each other, OP.

You've seen this man for who he is. You will never be able to trust him. Thank god you haven't bought a house with him.

Could you consider moving nearer to your friends? You don't have to stay put in that area now, do you?

we live together, have a dog and are supposed to be buying a house soon.

Be thankful that atleast you haven't had kids with this fucker or a mortgage. Stay strong OP and don't contact him or let him talk you into taking him back after his trip where you know he's been sleeping with that girl

@Notaprimeminister nail on head. 🙄

I would do but to be honest, I really don't have anyone that I don't know through him.
Family not an option..
All a bit of a mess

According to DP - she has done this to get a reaction out of me

no she has not and its likely she doesnt know you exist. He is the problem here

Wow what a prize cunt. Sorry you are going through this op. You deserve better. It seems as if you know this though so well done.

If you feel bad about splitting up, think about how he'll call this woman the c-word soon enough, and the woman after her, and the woman after her. You'll look back on this as a lucky escape.

I thought so OP. It's a strange world they live in, they almost live 2 separate lives and one of them is a full on fuckfest.

I spent far too much time believing the stories about flight attendants who 'tried it on' and how psycho half of them were. Thankfully one of the supposed 'stalkers' started stalking me too and eventually I looked a little bit closer. Boy did I have my blinders ripped off!

He has obviously slept with this flight attendant and is following the pilots script in how to deal with the 'suspicious' girlfriend. He will come back expecting you to apologise, full gaslighting mode. The girl will be a psycho/stalker/nympho and he will expect to carry on. It's amazing that they all get away with it for so long.

Notaprimeminister yes to the 2 different worlds. At home at the local pub (small village) Mr nice guy, almost shy, away for work different story.

Can you get everything moved out before he gets back?

Maybe leave one of these dolls where the sofa used to be?

@BettyDuMonde this actually made me laugh so thank you for that 🤣

@Notaprimeminister I really hope the OP heeds your warning

If you've not managed to move out before he comes home, don't take any of his BS excuses. He's 100% finished things whilst he's away because he wants to roger this woman, without any guilt!

I've been there OP and I'm ashamed to say that I took him back, time and time again. Don't make that same mistake and cut yourself free for good!

Good luck - sending hugs! X

What an absolute tosser. Thank god you're free of him! Good for you. Good luck finding a nice little flat for you and your pup. I would completely cut contact with toss pot. If toss pot starts trying to communicate when he returns just let him know how/where to collect his things and say absolutely nothing else.