Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby on plane

137 replies

Jobea91 · 23/04/2019 17:08

My parents recently paid for a surprise holiday to France for September. My DS will be 18months. My parent originally said a holiday somewhere in England so they could confirm dates but the surprise is it’s an all inclusive in Spain for me DH DS and all my siblings. I’m really excited.
DH today said he’s read things about air pressure changes being painful to babies and that it worried him so much he doesn’t want DS to go, he said he’d stay home with him for a week (which would be hell for him doing 24/7 with her alone) so I can still go, but my family and me are all really excited for DS to go, first time swimming, going to the beach, flying, different country etc.
My parents have already paid and we got him a passport especially.
DH said from what he’s read he thinks it’d be abusive to take him until hes 5 and can understand what’s happening air pressure wise etc.
Me and my sisters flew loads as babies and toddlers and I’ve always loved flying. DH is okay with it but doesn’t have same excitement as me.

I said I can’t/won’t take her if he doesn’t want me to but I disagree it’s so painful we should cancel and make my parents pay all cancellation fees etc.
I said I’ll look at other ways to get there.

AIBU for feeling annoyed he’s decided this? He said we agreed to a England holiday not Spain (he hates surprises). It’s difficult if it’s something he genuinely thinks is abusive.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 23/04/2019 17:12

He sounds insane. It's not abusive at all. If your lo has something to suck on/ drink during take off and landing it should help with air pressure

HerculesMulligan · 23/04/2019 17:12

This isn't about the plane journey. It's perfectly safe for small children to fly. This sounds like pique and a deliberate attempt to spoil something you're excited about.

Aquamarine1029 · 23/04/2019 17:13

Your husband is being completely ridiculous and your daughter will be perfectly fine on the plane. Is he always so paranoid and anxious?

Chippychipsforme · 23/04/2019 17:13

Take your son with you, leave the miserable bastard at home.

brummiesue · 23/04/2019 17:13

How ridiculous, my children have flown since a few months old - other motives afoot here I'm sure

Km06 · 23/04/2019 17:13

I think he is massively over reacting

Purpleartichoke · 23/04/2019 17:14

Just have the toddler drink something during takeoff and landing. Solves the air pressure problem almost all the time.

Chamomileteaplease · 23/04/2019 17:14

Surely he must have googled it and found that he is talking nonsense?

Would an appointment with the GP put his mind at rest?

SeptemberDays · 23/04/2019 17:14

Does he have a dummy and/or do you breastfeed? They are both supposed to make it a bit less painfull.

I completely agree with your second to last paragraph.
And yes I'd be annoyed, but I do think he's trying to do what's best, particularly as he's offered an alternative that's more work for him.

ineedaholidaynow · 23/04/2019 17:15

Did he also know it was a holiday for other members of your family, could this be putting him off, and he is trying to find an excuse not to go?

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 23/04/2019 17:15

Is you DH scared of flying and trying to use this as excuse?

SittingAround1 · 23/04/2019 17:15

My DCs have flown quite a bit since babies and no problems with air pressure.
Babies fly all the time.
Your DH is being ridiculous.

Original poster
Jobea91 · 23/04/2019 17:16

Omg ok good and I’ve been trying to search for what’s freaked him out so much and could only find someone moaning about babies crying in first class and clearly just someone who has never met a baby. You’d think with how horrible the internet is it’d be easier to find something to scare me too

OP posts:
AntiHop · 23/04/2019 17:16

He's wrong. Babies go on planes all the time. If he's that bothered, could you take the train?

eBaysLikeMyFamily · 23/04/2019 17:16

Pfft, I never flew as a child but have driven through the Alps plenty and that can hurt your ears plenty. We were told to swallow or given food, sweets and drink if we were too young to understand.

Sirzy · 23/04/2019 17:17

Sounds like this is his way of getting out of going.

Could you call his bluff and suggest driving instead?

CheeseCrackersAndWine · 23/04/2019 17:19

This is one of the oddest things I’ve ever read...

My first flew to Florida at 13 months and has travelled far & wide ever since & is now 10. My youngest is disabled & flew at just under 2 the first time. Neither have had issues.

Take a bottle or dummy or juice cup for them to suck during take off/landing.

Although mine never used anything & were totally fine!

To say it’s abusive is ridiculous.

Original poster
Jobea91 · 23/04/2019 17:19

He actually just wanted to cancel and I said I’d look at alternatives.
He gets a bit worried flying but I think just general not phobia or anything but we’ve done multiple 11 hour flights to Asia and he wants to go again.

OP posts:
Thehogfatherstolemycurry · 23/04/2019 17:19

Maybe he's afraid of crashing?
I always feel a bit like I'm offering the whole family up to the gods when we all fly - completely irrational I know and I reign it in and we still go but could it be something like this? Sons safety is out of his control in the air and he doesn't like it?

Dishwashersaurous · 23/04/2019 17:19

Me thinks that he doesn’t want to go on the holiday and is using this as an excuse.

Give child something to suck, even your finger, on take off will be absolutely fine

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/04/2019 17:20

My DD had eardrum problems as a baby (and since) and she has always found the descent part of the flight painful. So he has a point if your baby has had any ear issues.

Babayaggatheboneylegged · 23/04/2019 17:20

My kids have flown regularly from a very young age and we’ve never had problems with them feeling cabin pressure pain. Feel free to report me and the billions of other parents who take children >5 on plane journeys though Wink

I can remember a flight when my little brother was about six, and he screamed blue murder because his ears were sore. He was very prone to ear infections.

Also, am not sure that at the age of five, children miraculously develop the ability to rationalise pain and discomfort.

Does your OH have a fear of flying in general?

BikeRunSki · 23/04/2019 17:21

Very tiny newborns might struggle with Cani pressure, but no problem by 18 months! My sister has been flying with her children between the UK and France several times a years from 3 months.

glenthebattleostrich · 23/04/2019 17:21

DD gets really bad earache on landing so I give her a little ibuprofen an hour before and a carton of juice / lolly.

The baby behind us on a flight yesterday was fine with a bottle and dummy.

Whatisthisfuckery · 23/04/2019 17:22

I’m with PP here, sounds like there’s other motives at play. I bet he doesn’t want to stay at home alone with all the childcare for a whole week really, he just wants an excuse to get out of going and this way he can guilt you into not going either. Take the baby, leave him at home if he doesn’t want to come.