Baby on plane

[Jobea91]

My parents recently paid for a surprise holiday to France for September. My DS will be 18months. My parent originally said a holiday somewhere in England so they could confirm dates but the surprise is it’s an all inclusive in Spain for me DH DS and all my siblings. I’m really excited.
DH today said he’s read things about air pressure changes being painful to babies and that it worried him so much he doesn’t want DS to go, he said he’d stay home with him for a week (which would be hell for him doing 24/7 with her alone) so I can still go, but my family and me are all really excited for DS to go, first time swimming, going to the beach, flying, different country etc.
My parents have already paid and we got him a passport especially.
DH said from what he’s read he thinks it’d be abusive to take him until hes 5 and can understand what’s happening air pressure wise etc.
Me and my sisters flew loads as babies and toddlers and I’ve always loved flying. DH is okay with it but doesn’t have same excitement as me.

I said I can’t/won’t take her if he doesn’t want me to but I disagree it’s so painful we should cancel and make my parents pay all cancellation fees etc.
I said I’ll look at other ways to get there.

AIBU for feeling annoyed he’s decided this? He said we agreed to a England holiday not Spain (he hates surprises). It’s difficult if it’s something he genuinely thinks is abusive.

OK your DH is being a huge part ott but here are some articles. However he seems to have been reading about what affects newborns as in 0-21 days new born. Just show him the evidence and go

www.healthychildren.org/English/safety-prevention/on-the-go/Pages/Flying-with-Baby.aspx

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/expert-answers/air-travel-with-infant/faq-20058539

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2528662/

I am confused. Is the holiday to Spain or France?

Ears popping on planes can be a bit painful and odd but they just need something to suck. It's all very normal.

Travelling to Spain on a sleeper train is fun too though. Eurostar in the early evening, then catch a sleeper from Paris.

He sounds absolutely nuts. Tell him to stop spouting obviously fake bullshit and to tell you the real reason he’s being difficult about this.

We flew abroad to visit DH's family when DD was only 3 months old. No problems whatsoever - in fact, she was laughing at the bumpy landing.

Your DH is an idiot.

I was 5 months old when I went on my first plane and that was a long haul to Hong Kong. We went on several trips involving planes in the first 18 months of my life: it’s no more unpleasant for babies to fly than adults I.e the only real issue is ear popping

DH today said he’s read things about air pressure changes being painful to babies and that it worried him so much he doesn’t want DS to go

Is he usually so overprotective and misinformed?

I've taken a 2 month old on a plane with no problem & all three have travelled as babies / toddlers. People take babies all the time. Make sure they drink or eat for take off and landing so they are swallowing to help the pressure in the ear adjust and that's it. He's being a bit U IMO.

Sorry but your DH is insane. Just give baby a dummy or drink during take off/landing. My DD is a similar age and has taken so many flights, long and short haul, that I’ve lost count. Most of the time she passes out as soon as the engines start (must be like white noise) and sleeps straight through take off.

Does your DH have a fear of flying that he doesn’t want to admit to? Not like your parents? Is upset that he wasn’t included in discussions?

It is such a short flight you will be descending in no time. I would not take a baby long haul,

He is being way over the top, and this type of overprotective outlook is not going to serve your baby well for adult life if he carries this through to the toddler years etc.

But if it’s really causing an issue perhaps hire and camper van and drive, which is probably more fun than a plane anyway

Both mine have been regular fliers since they were under 6 months old and have never even had tears on take off or due to pressure. A feed/bottle/drink that makes them suck and swallow sorts it.

Absolute rubbish. I am a doctor and my DH is a pilot, we took our baby away when he was very small for the first time. Feed/breastfeed him on landing if you can.

Just back from an 11 hour flight to the states with a 4yr old and 16mth old. The 4 yr old has glue ear and other issues. GP said absolutely fine to take. 16 month old had no issues on flight. Evening after he was crying and pulling ears. I think they were popping as he slept through landing. I think we should have woken him to have a drink with hindsight. Anyway, one dose of Calpol and he was fine next day.
I think it is the combination of a surprise trip abroad and the rest of the family going which is actually putting him off. Is there a male pride thing going on that he wasn’t the one to fund and plan your child’s first trip abroad?

Jeez. We took DS on a long-haul flight (10 hours!) when he was 8 months old.

No lasting ill effects at all.

He’s being ridiculous. He needs to get help for his anxiety before your child starts picking up on it. Set the president now, it’ll only get worse.

Eh? What's he on about.

Yes, take the baby on a plane - your DH is being an arse.

Happy to help

On the few occasions mine have flown, they've had a packet of fruit pastilles for take off and landing. They're so busy munching away (and swallowing) that they don't even notice the pressure change!

I’d be worried about 2 things:

1. He doesn’t want to go, is trying to get out of it, and is either using your son as an excuse or he wants to keep him away from your family for some reason.

1. He is struggling with some fairly serious anxiety either about flying, or about the baby in general.

Nothing else really makes sense because it’s such a massive overreaction.

FWIW, we flew when DD2 was 18 months. It was fine. She sat on my lap and breastfed, she fell asleep during take off and slept for half the flight. A dummy would have the same effect for equalising pressure in ears, as would milk in a bottle, a drink with a straw or a pouch yoghurt.

What the heck!! Took DS at 18 months on a 7 1/2 flight..absolutely fine! He didn't cry at all, but was very active at that age, wanted to walk absolutely everywhere! So I just walked him up and down the aisles. Not one person on the plane moaned. Everybody thought he was very cute, and wanted to talk to him! He done a very good job at entertaining adults, bored to death just sitting down for a long time 😂

Then flew 11 hours with DS1 aged 3 and DS2 who was 9 months! Both absolutely fine again!
DS2 slept the whole time (only waking up for a bottle)
A baby next to us, did cry for a while. But not one person got annoyed!

Every seat on the planes we have been on, the cot seats have been fully booked.

How it's abusive it bizarre?! What the hell has he been reading?!

You should show your husband this thread. That will show him he doesn't have a leg to stand on. He's being totally absurd.

My ds sleeps loads on the plane I think the engine is like white noise to hin

This is one of those instances where most people would just say “I get you’re worried but this is not rational”. Because it’s not.

I think he doesn’t want to go and he’s sabotaging it - your comments about him ‘not coping’ with the baby, you looking at other options otherwise he’ll cancel screams of him wanting to get his own way.

PS we went on holiday with my dad last year - I was a little apprehensive let alone DH as my dad can be hard work. But he’s not hard work enough to throw back in his face a holiday he’s paid for. Which is essentially what he wants to do.

Huh?
Tell it's fine if he doesn't want to come but you and DS will be going.
What's really going on with him? It sure as shit ain't about babies / air pressure.