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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby on plane

137 replies

Jobea91 · 23/04/2019 17:08

My parents recently paid for a surprise holiday to France for September. My DS will be 18months. My parent originally said a holiday somewhere in England so they could confirm dates but the surprise is it’s an all inclusive in Spain for me DH DS and all my siblings. I’m really excited.
DH today said he’s read things about air pressure changes being painful to babies and that it worried him so much he doesn’t want DS to go, he said he’d stay home with him for a week (which would be hell for him doing 24/7 with her alone) so I can still go, but my family and me are all really excited for DS to go, first time swimming, going to the beach, flying, different country etc.
My parents have already paid and we got him a passport especially.
DH said from what he’s read he thinks it’d be abusive to take him until hes 5 and can understand what’s happening air pressure wise etc.
Me and my sisters flew loads as babies and toddlers and I’ve always loved flying. DH is okay with it but doesn’t have same excitement as me.

I said I can’t/won’t take her if he doesn’t want me to but I disagree it’s so painful we should cancel and make my parents pay all cancellation fees etc.
I said I’ll look at other ways to get there.

AIBU for feeling annoyed he’s decided this? He said we agreed to a England holiday not Spain (he hates surprises). It’s difficult if it’s something he genuinely thinks is abusive.

OP posts:
purplepears · 23/04/2019 18:24

He's bonkers. What the heck does he think expat/forces babies do constantly.
Abuse..........HmmAngry........stopping you going for fake reasons is abuse.

Holidayshopping · 23/04/2019 18:24

Are you going to France or Spain-your post says both?

He is being ridiculous.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 23/04/2019 18:25

How bizarre. Maybe book a doctors appointment so they can assure him he’s talking nonsense.

legolimb · 23/04/2019 18:26

He doesn't want to go.

I'd do as a PP says and you go alone with your DS.

TidyDancer · 23/04/2019 18:28

Don't miss out on your holiday because of your DH. He's either being massively controlling or monumentally stupid. Neither is great but neither means you shouldn't go.

Teddybear45 · 23/04/2019 18:29

Sounds like he doesn’t want to go and doesn’t want you to go either. Take your baby and run.

WindsweptEgret · 23/04/2019 18:30

Breastfeeding would help with the pressure changes.

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 23/04/2019 18:30

We flew back from Orlando via Washington Dulles on Friday with our 18 month old...she was fine.
Purchased a sleeping bag with legs from Jojo Maman Bebe, snuggled her up with bottle and she was asleep.
She was a dream on the way out too...there is absolutely nothing wrong with taking a baby on a plane, just research how your little one might deal with air pressure etc. For us, dummy and bottle worked perfectly. Others might need a different method.
Overall have a fab holiday!

mum11970 · 23/04/2019 18:33

Your dh is an idiot. Do not waste the NHS’ money booking an appointment with the GP just so your dh can be told he’s a prat. Tell him you and your child are going and it’s up to him if he joins you but you’re not cancelling a holiday because of he’s read some rubbish on the internet.

yearinyearout · 23/04/2019 18:36

Your DH is being an idiot. Babies and toddlers fly every day! If he's that concerned about it suggest giving your DS a dose of calpol before taking off and ensure he has something to suck on/drink which will help with any discomfort.

EKGEMS · 23/04/2019 18:36

Good luck on your dream trip you'll have two toddlers to look after

myadviceisdontskippaps · 23/04/2019 18:37

My sis brought her eldest to my wedding at 7 weeks old. My son first flew at 5 months and had flown 5+ round trips a year short and long haul ever since (usually transatlantic twice a year at least). He’s 6 now and does perfectly fine on planes with the exception of one small earache when he had an ear infection.

your husband is full of crap.

Numptywallice · 23/04/2019 18:43

I flew with my DS when he was 6 months on a 4 hour flight and an 8 hour flight at 18 months. I gave him a spoon of calpol before we boarded and then a bottle on take off. He slept the whole way home and was fine. They have doctors in Spain if he does get any problems with his ears. Go and enjoy your holiday all together.

SmallPinkBear · 23/04/2019 18:50

My dd (3) has travelled long haul to and from Asia several times and South Africa, as well as short haul in Europe in all classes on planes since she was 4 months as we lived abroad. When she was a baby she would cry due to the pressure but feeding her stopped this and since she was a toddler it hasn’t been an issue at all.
One thing you should note is that they start to change the pressure in the cabin from the moment you push back so often they get upset before you actually take off...having said this an 18 month old is fine...
Also it is the best time to do it as you don’t have to pay for a seat! We used air miles and flew in first to South Africa when she was 23 months and there was an 18 month and 21 month old in the cabin too as everyone was taking advantage before the cost skyrocketed!

stucknoue · 23/04/2019 18:51

It's fine, mine flew long haul from birth (we lived overseas) and were fine

Figgygal · 23/04/2019 18:53

He's either being hysterical or manipulative due to his own concerns re: flying

My 2 kids fly cross country 4/5 times a year and have since 6 weeks for ds1 never had a problem with ears or disturbing other people.

PurpleCrowbar · 23/04/2019 18:56

My 11yo & I do suffer with achey ears on landing, but my teenagers are both fine. I think it's an idiosyncratic thing not age related!

Frankly, babies are always finding themselves in weird, inexplicable pain - sore bum, colic, teething etc. It's not something you can just avoid for the first few years...

Lndnmummy · 23/04/2019 19:04

I have flown 6-8 times a year with both mine from 6 weeks. It’s fine. Totally fine

TheClaifeCrier · 23/04/2019 19:09

I'm with PP, your DH doesn't want to go and he's come up with this batshit reason.

BlitheringIdiots · 23/04/2019 19:12

He's a bit precious isn't he ha ha ha. I would tell him to stay home and you and the toddler go

Celticrose · 23/04/2019 19:31

My sibling flew with their 2 DC transatlantic from they were 3 months old. By the time they were 5 they had flew maybe 15 times. A journey of at least 6 hours and it was never a problem. They are now late twenties and doing just fine.

Gottalovesummer · 23/04/2019 19:35

I started flying with my son at 10 weeks old.

Family live abroad so flew 3 times a year. My kids are now teenagers and still fly a lot, It's absolutely fine x

Quartz2208 · 23/04/2019 19:41

He doesnt want to go and that is all it is. DD and DS have been on planes since they were 5 and 7 months, trans

There is odd behaviour going on and its on him

What would happen if you said you were going with DS regardless (because I think you should)

But I am confused on the France/Spain but

Omzlas · 23/04/2019 20:02

We took one of our DC aged 9 months and another aged 1.5, they were both fine and only cranky (that was because of silly flight times) but that was the only issue. We made sure they had drinks at landing and take off. Your DH is being odd

Pharlapwasthebest · 23/04/2019 20:05

I flew when my lo was 8 weeks, he was fine.