Male teacher STILL making toilet pass dd wait , what next?!

[Flooding]

I've posted about this before.
DD has a toilet pass both for bladder and dysmenorrhoea/flooding.
She is on medication for both.

I have actually complained three times now on different levels as she is either being stopped from going, argued with for ten minutes about why she shouldn't go or made to wait until someone else comes back (even though toilets are individual cubicles on to the corridor near reception like disabled toilets so not like they can mess about.

I've even checked there is no concern about her going when she doesn't need to and there's not.

DD has also let slip that she doesn't like to go at break even when she does need to go then because the boys have figured how to open the doors and push them open when staff aren't there.

I've complained formally already. I've been told all staff will be reminded and also the staff member will be spoken to.

What next?!

Boys opening doors to the unisex toilets!! This makes me so fucking angry

Makes you wish they would all just he honest and say they dont want girls in school.

The only reason they don't is because they need then for crowd control.

Vs91168 it's all very well saying she should go at break and lunch, but she has heavy flooding periods and boys are openning the unisex toilet doors while she's cleaning up! Of course she can't go at break while this is happening.

The boys having full peeping and humiliation access to girls on the toilet and cleaning up around menstruation atm needs addressing by the school as an urgent safeguarding concern!

Vs91168 sorry, were all on the same page here I think.

As an ex secondary school teacher (in my teaching days there were no unisex toilets to my knowledge, and certainly not for children of an age where periods were likely) and parent of a teenage girl and almost teenage boy I'm absolutely outraged by what this poor girl is being needlessly put through, and on behalf of the other girls (and probably some boys too) who are being peeped on and deliberately humiliated on the toilet or cleaning themselves up too!

I do know from experience that schools do sometimes allow absolutely shocking things to go on which we'd never tolerate anywhere else.

Why was Vs91168 deleted? There was nothing offensive in those posts...

I reckon the door wedge could be a short term practical solution. Frankly the school sounds woefully unprepared and unwilling to do anything about both situations.

If you were feeling particularly punchy you could ask in the meeting whether the school were prepared to provide every girl with a door wedge, or should parents have to provide them themselves?
The school will object on the grounds of safety, but you could shrug and say that the school obviously is fine with girls being exposed and sexually harassed by boys but you are not.

You could raise it with the PTA, or maybe kids doing business studies or being young entrepreneurs could look into producing them in school colours to sell? They could be called ‘The Anti-Harassment Wedge; it’s protects your privacy because the grown-ups won’t’

I think I would withdraw her from the class. Tell her to go to reception for his lessons and ask for work to be sent down to her. The teacher won't co-operate with this, probably, but hopefully the reception staff will be more sympathetic, and it will be clear to the school how serious the problem is and they will have to do something about it.

Much as the some people think that he is being difficult it is much more likely that he is caught between contradicting instructions from on high.

If they womt sack him

If they sack him for following instructions what do you think that he will do?

it is much more likely that he is caught between contradicting instructions from on high

It's the opposite, he's refusing to follow instructions.

But Boney all the other teachers seem to be able to follow instructions and the law of the land. Why cant he?

Your threads make my blood boil OP. You need to make civilised hell. Follow their complaint proceedure to the letter.

Don't go straight to governors. Get a copy of the school complaints policy and exhaust that first. Otherwise you may be wasting tour time as governors will just bounce you back to school

With my teacher head on I think you should keep her off tomorrow (and take a day off yourself with a family emergency - I know you shouldn’t have to), ring at 8am and arrange a meeting with the head teacher or someone in the pastoral team.

If you see the head teacher, ask what steps they will be taking to ensure your daughters needs are met. Ask about the complaints procedure to the governors as you are unsatisfied with the schools response.

If you see someone pastoral, ask for her to work in the SEN area for the lessons of this teacher until you have had an appropriate response from the head teacher.

The way he is behaving is utterly disgraceful. It’s easy to forget which students have toilet passes when you teach 200+ kids but if in doubt I look it up on the system, apologise and let them go! There’s certainly no excuse for him doing this, it’s disgusting.

You can get a portable door lock from Amazon that prevents an unlocked door from opening. I use it in hotel rooms and toilet cubicles alike. A number of brands available - get a few and have her try them out.

havingtochangeusernameagain redexpat

All I am pointing out is that there are many contradictory instructions in schools. Some teachers abide by all the rules, some by some of the rules and others by non of the rules, and others follow rules that they themselves make up.

I've had contradictory instructions form the SENCO and the Headteacher.

If it where me in the OPs situation I would want the head, the SENCO and the teacher all in one room in a meeting to thrash this out and get a clear cut answer that everyone agrees to and no-one can argue against when the child needs to go to the toilet.

Seems to me to be a safeguarding issue re the toilet doors, and also the question in my mind as her condition affects her day to day life that it comes under definitions of disability.

I would now phone the school and ask for a meeting between you and the head and the chair of governors, then I would regale the whole tail, including previous meetings, the fact boys open the cubicle doors, the teacher not letting her go and your solution you want to see.

If it where me in the OPs situation I would want the head, the SENCO and the teacher all in one room in a meeting to thrash this out and get a clear cut answer that everyone agrees to and no-one can argue against when the child needs to go to the toilet.

^^This.

But when you make the appointment say that if it doesn't happen quickly with a satisfactory outcome (holding to agreed rules) you will be escalating to governors and further, PDQ.

Quite apart from the safeguarding issue of boys opening the toilet doors when girls are using the toilets there is the issue of reasonable adjustments, your DD has been issued with a toilet pass as a reasonable adjustment for her medical conditions. Please write to the HT (email) add in something along the lines of what I have written below.

Reasonable adjustments are a requirement under the equality act 2010 and Mr (whatever his name is) is failing to implement a reasonable adjustment therefore failing to abide by the requirements of the equality act and is acting unlawfully. I trust that this matter will be resolved as a matter of urgency.

I hope this helps.

I would make a formal complaint including the instruction that your DD is to be kept out of lessons with this teacher until the matter has been investigated and a resolution acceptable to all have been agreed.

If they won't agree to this, she will need to remain at home an all of the days that lessons with this teacher are timetabled. This is purely to protect your DD and ensure that her individual needs are met consistently when she is in school.

I'd be asking the head if they are happy that this man seems to get his kicks from causing major embarrassment to your child and why he seems determined to make her wee or bleed in public.

I would use very emotive language while using all the terms everyone else mentioned.

The man sounds like a fucking creep, and I would make sure to use language to portray him that way. As you have already complained I'd want the governors involved in any meetings.

Have you actually met with the teacher? He needs to be spoken to, preferably by the headteacher who has presumably allowed the SENCO or school nurse to put in place the toilet pass system.

Re unisex toilets, sadly getting common in schools, bloody awful idea given how horrendous it is for children of any sex who are lacking in confidence. And yes, the teachers should be more careful monitoring what is going on in the loos.

If this is a secondary school I can't imagine how it would be possible for teachers to monitor the toilets. The situation sounds set up to fail. The only possible "patch" might be locks which require a reception held master key to open from outside. It sounds potentially dangerous though, I'm shocked... Surely there's potential for adult size year 10 boys getting inside one of these hermetically sealed units and cornering much smaller girl... Certainly I taught 6 ft 4 year 11s and tiny 4 ft 6 year 7s... And indeed tiny year 11s. Not such a risk I were talking about year 6 primary, but the locks at least need rethinking.

As a teacher, I cannot understand why he is arguing when she has a toilet pass? I fully appreciate the annoyance and disruption when a lesson is constantly interrupted by kids needing the loo but this is clearly not the case. She has a pass and medical conditions. I'd ask for a meeting with him and the senco and make it clear she is to be let out immediately when she asks. In the meantime, can she use her other card if he starts arguing her makes her wait (or would he argue that too?) I think it's fair to say he must be causing her a lot of distress so imo that wouldn't be an unreasonable thing to do. Or, as pp have said, tell her to just leave!

Have you ever actually asked for a meeting with this teacher to ask him directly what his problem is with allowing your DD to use the toilet as her pass allows her to?