Male teacher STILL making toilet pass dd wait , what next?!

[Flooding]

I've posted about this before.
DD has a toilet pass both for bladder and dysmenorrhoea/flooding.
She is on medication for both.

I have actually complained three times now on different levels as she is either being stopped from going, argued with for ten minutes about why she shouldn't go or made to wait until someone else comes back (even though toilets are individual cubicles on to the corridor near reception like disabled toilets so not like they can mess about.

I've even checked there is no concern about her going when she doesn't need to and there's not.

DD has also let slip that she doesn't like to go at break even when she does need to go then because the boys have figured how to open the doors and push them open when staff aren't there.

I've complained formally already. I've been told all staff will be reminded and also the staff member will be spoken to.

What next?!

The words you need to be using are safeguarding, Ofsted, governing body, local press. This, absolutely. Words like these should kick them into action. Why on earth are the toilets left unsupervised? Even if they set a couple of prefects to patrol them, that would be better than nothing!

Have you actually spoken to the teacher in question, I can't remember from your last thread?

Make it a formal safeguarding complaint rather than just a complaint. In fact call it a repeated failure to safeguard your dd - other staff have managed to understand the concept of a toilet pass and why it is needed, there’s no suggestion your dd will abuse it.

Safeguarding or lack thereof is a big deal to a school - they will have to take notice and make the teacher let her go as she needs.

There has to be another issue at play here - from the teachers perspective I mean. I’d be straight back into the HT to get a meeting with them and the teacher and try to get to the bottom of the issue this particular teacher has? Does he think your DD is playing it up, or that she should go at break or that her going disrupts his class? There’s something making him behave this way and he needs it spelt out to him that no matter what he thinks or feels, she has to have unfettered access to the toilets as often as as for long as she needs.

The toilets need to be safe to use at break. They clearly aren't if boys are opening them while girls clean themselves/ change pads etc. This screams safeguarding problem which impacts on every girl and probably some boys (presumably the boys don't know who they are going to find when they open the door).

Many school or public toilet doors can be opened from the outside using a coin, as most people have had to do to release a toddler who's locked themself in in the blink of an eye... But obviously if boys have access to the toilets the girls use and are opening the doors this way to have a look at the girls on the toilet they are completely unfit for purpose.

As well as continuing to complain about the teacher who overrules your DD's medical exemption for using toilets as soon as she needs to I do think that you need to address the fact she doesn't feel safe using any school toilet at break.

Girls need to feel safe going to the toilets at break - I'm sure that there will be very widespread support from parents in putting in a mass complaint via petition if they are made aware that this is happening and that those whose dds have probably told parents about it are not alone in having this issue.

It's a massive large scale safeguarding and health issue if the school is not providing any toilets girls feel safe using at break.

I know the sorts of toilets, they are brilliant for solving bullying and privacy issues (it's like having your own tiny bathroom) but the locking mechanisms can usually be undone with a coin or the end of a ruler- long story about how I know that but not relevant! The school could solve that by making the area around the toilets a staff break duty zone so that's easy enough to fix, just needs girls and or parents to let the right people know.

If you've gone through the school complaints procedure and it sounds like you've done everything right (because the other staff have been correctly informed and are taking appropriate notice) you probably need to go back to the head and state that this member of staff will lead you to making a complaint to DfE and/or Ofsted if the school is unable to ensure the staff follow school procedures. It's unlikely to be a qualifying complaint (one that would trigger an inspection) on its own but it still goes on record and if other complaints are received this can lead to action being taken.

So in short tell the head that all other staff are now being reasonable with your daughter but this one person remains an issue, so you wanted to give them chance to deal with it more formally in house before you have to go external. I suspect this member of staff presents other issues which the head would not share with you but people do have to be given a period of time to show that they are complying with instructions before you can go onto the next stage in a process, although in this case he clearly isn't.

I'd insist on a meeting with the HT and the idiot male teacher in question and ask why medical conditions requiring a toilet pass are being ignored and I wouldn't leave until I got an answer. I would also request from the school a copy of their formal complaints policy and follow it to the letter.

Is he getting a kick out of making her wait?

Hello OP. You don’t say if dd’s father is around or if you have anything like a supportive partner (or someone who could purport to be).

It might be time for a bloke to go in and raise merry hell. I hate saying it but the way of the world is what it is rather than what it ought to be.

If the head is unable to commit to ensuring this teacher observes your DD's needs on every single occasion, then I would speak to a lawyer.

Ask the school for their complaints policy and that should outline what you do next. Good luck.

The words you need to be using are safeguarding, Ofsted, governing body, local press.

Totally this. Kick up a HUGE fuss. This is not acceptable from any angle.

Your poor daughter
Along with all the good advice already given I would argue that this teacher is preventing your daughter from learning
Who could concentrate when they think they may leak through
What reason has he given to stop her? I'd like to see a copy of his medical qualifications too if he thinks he knows better

Sadly you will get nowhere with the boys opening the girls toilets. This is a common complaint of unisex toilets in schools but there is no way in hell that a school can either change back to having girls toilets, or not have locks that can be opened from the inside.
The only solution would be to have a member of staff supervise all loos and that is not going to happen. Or sucks and I’m really sorry.

However, the other issue can be dealt with. I would firstly send one email to teacher, his head of department, the head of year, the school nurse, and the head. I would calmly explain the situation, bring up safeguarding and your DD’s needs. I would also state that you are happy to talk through the issues at any time but you now presume that your DD will be let out of class.
If not, you will be forced to escalate this safeguarding issue to the governors.

Macaroonmayhem I've checked that she is not playing up or using it to mess. She actually has a pass due to Sen where she can leave if she gets overwhelmed so she wouldn't need to. She doesn't use this in his class.
From what I gather he does this with all toilet pass people.

billybagpuss I've spoke to everyone at school level at this point.

Thank you. I know the safeguarding officer so will go to them now.

You need to ask for a copy of the school's complaint policy and escalate the complaint to a formal stage. In a maintained school, this would then involve a panel of Governors. However, I'm picking up form your thread that your DD's school is an Academy.
By law, all Academics have to have a policy which, if the complaint can not be resolved by the Academy leadership, involves the use of people independent of the Academy Trust.
If they do not have this, they are in breech of their ESFA funding agreement and you could raise it with the Regional School's commissioner for your area.

If you message me, I can share an example of a model policy with all the correct legal parts in it.

If the school is an academy, the governors are probably known as trustees. Try looking for them on the website if you need to go down the formal complaint route.

You do need to talk to them from the point of them not keeping your child safe.

By reading or delaying her access to the toilet, she is not being kept safe. Her medical conditions will be made worse by trying to hold and by stress. She is also being embarrassed and forced to discuss her need repeatedly and at length infron of her peers. Both of those lead to the conclusion that the school are not keeping her safe.

The toilet doors and the boys are another point in them not keeping your daughter safe. Hammer that into them and demand to see this teacher along with the head and the senco team together.

Don't be fobbed off this time by just a "we will speak to him".

This does is distressing for your DD and very petty on the part of the teacher. I do remember your previous posts. When you have complained before - did you name him in particular of did you keep it generic? If a general complaint, maybe you should consider naming names.
If the school knows it is this teacher - definitely now is the time to go to the governors. The school website will have names and how to complain to them.

I have terrible bladder issues so I feel her pain. If she does not feel she can relieve herself during breaks then of course that's going to impact during class time. School needs to sort out the boys opening doors issue - I think it needs to be esculated to who ever will listen! Ask some other mums - its unlikely your daughter is the only girl concerned about this. Get lots of parents to put pressure on the school to sort the problem.

Why won't she just go (during class, I get why she doesn't want to go in break)? Is she scared of the teacher?

I'd be more worried about embarrassing myself by having a flood than upsetting a teacher who my mother has told me categorically is in the wrong. I know it's difficult for kids to go against teachers but if I had my mother's unfettered support, I would trust that. I wonder whether, if she doesn't get over this, other men will walk all over her. Her needs come before those of an egotistic uninformed teacher.

Plus everything all the pp's have said.

the boys have figured how to open the doors and push them open when staff aren't there

I'd go utterly BALLISTIC about this!

All this talk about unisex lavatories being OK because they're single, floor-to-ceiling cubicles etc etc - and once again, we have boys learning this kind of utter sexist bullying.

I know mothers of boys don't encourage this behaviour, so where on earth do boys get the idea that this is OK?

Oh - yeah, perhaps from the attitude of a teacher who is also bullying a young girl about her simple straightforward bodily needs. And your DD is getting the message that there's something wrong with her body & its requirements.

Just awful - I hope you throw the book at them, OP

I know you say you have spoken to everyone but have you requested a meeting with SENCO, HT and this specific teacher because that is what I would definitely do.

No more phone calls, an actual meeting. You can request the designated safeguard lead too.

Your poor daughter. We had a rather cruel biology teacher who if you said you needed to go to the toilet would make you wait and actually run a tap. It was the 80s though.

I read your other thread - I would say it's time to make a formal complaint. You have taken it up with the school and things still haven't been sorted satisfactorily. You should be able to find the complaints procedure on the school website. You will need to contact the Chair of Governors who will then arrange to get formal proceedings underway.

Is this the only teacher available? Could she switch classes? I know it’s not always an option.

I would demand a meeting with the teacher and head together. This is also going to be incredibly sexist of me, but does your child have a male parent active in her life? If she does, could you ask him to be there. We gave found that Dh’s presence makes changes happen faster. I hate that it is true, but I will use whatever tricks I can to get my dd what she needs.

I would not let the issue of the bathrooms being opened go either. They have teachers supervising the halls at break. No reason one of those teachers can’t be standing outside the bathrooms.