Being prayed for

[BuckingFrolics]

I'm an atheist and my DM knows this - indeed she and my DF raised me as one. She "found god" when my DF left in my early teens

She says she prays for me.

AIBU to tell her to stop, as I find it offensive?

There's so many things in the world to be angry about, this isn't harming you so let it go, it makes her feel better and if you are right, the only net benefit is wasting her time!

I used to be friends with a group of Anglican missionary friends while living abroad and they told me they used to pray for me in their evening prayer meetings. I found it offensive at the time but couldn't quite place why. They meant well, but i think it felt smug and condescending as if they felt sorry for me and i needed their help. I told them they didn't need to waste their prayers on me (sort of in a lighthearted way) but i don't think it stopped them! I just wish they hadn't told me I'd been a subject of their pity and prayer. We're all still friends, but i think if i said i wished they'd all wake up and become atheists it might not have gone well either. Live and let live but keep your faith to yourself in my opinion.

That's an odd question. You know Christians, Jews and Muslims all believe in the same God?

Yes, that's why it is easier to put them together in the one question, and lump the rest as etc. But how people feel isn't necessarily a logical thing.

So you might think it an odd question, and that's fine, but I don't.

My mum prays for me. I love that. I don't mind it, and actually appreciate that she cares.

TBH you sound like hard work. You clearly don't like your mum very much either

I think YABU if there's no particular reason why this should offend you. To me, simply being atheist is not a reason to be offended by someone privately praying for you.

I had similar with one of my relatives though. They would tell my constantly that they were praying for me and that whatever happened it would be God's plan for me etc. I was offended because I was going through fertility issues and that's why they were praying. I was more bothered about the God's plan bit to be honest. I did snap in the end and say that if they truly believed God's plan for me was to put me through this awful pain over and over then I don't want to be a part of anything to do with him, I don't even want my name mentioned to him in a prayer. (I don't believe in God anyway but it was the implication that this was happening to me for a reason that pee'd me off).

As a pp said I find it smug and condescending. It really offends me and makes me feel quite uncomfortable. Keep your imaginary rubbish to yourself and don't involve me when I don't want it.

To me, simply being atheist is not a reason to be offended by someone privately praying for you

The OP's mum is not doing it privately though, is she.

Tell her if she wants to pray for you crack on, but don't update because it's tiresome.

Some posters on here are far too easily offended. It is simply one person's way of saying they are thinking of you.

Just say "Thank you. I'll think for you."

My Jewish Dad (actually an atheist) was happy for my Christian mum to pray for him if it made her feel better. And he was happy to have a good word said on his behalf to a god he didn't believe in - being an atheist.
She didn't say she was doing it. He asked her to do it anyway.

My mum does this all the time...I just let her get on with it. I've made sure she knows I think it's a load of rubbish, but if it makes her feel better, whatever.

Just say "Thank you. I'll think for you."

Can see it would irritate, especially if it’s intended as patronising.
Doesn’t really hurt anyone though.

It’s a way of expressing caring

No it's really not. It's a way of saying I know better than you and I don't care about your feelings. If some one has said they don't want to be prayed for then don't do it.

There's a difference between praying for you and telling you that good things are only due to her praying.
col
I'm an atheist. DH's colleague praye

ed for me last year when I was ill-fine. Saying it cure

d me- wouldn't have been f

Some studies seem to show that praying for someone actually makes things worse...

"Many if not most people believe that prayer will help you through a medical crisis such as heart bypass surgery. If a large group of people outside yourself, your family, and your friends joined in intercessory prayer, that should be even more helpful, so such reasoning goes.

Researchers have been trying to prove this and even to measure the effect. So far, two studies found that third-party prayers bestow benefits, but two others concluded that there are no benefits. Now, the largest study to date, covering 1,800 people who underwent coronary bypass surgery at six different hospitals, supported the latter research.

Not only that, but patients who knew that others were praying for them fared worse than those who did not receive such spiritual support, or who did but were not aware of it*

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2006/04/060403133554.htm

Used to make me stabby when my pious sanctimonious hypocritical intrusive ex-SIL did this - HTH

And it's often said in a passive-aggressive patronising way with a head-tilt/wonky smile and a "cos you don't know fook all bout anything" air

Just say "Thank you. I'll think for you."

Is 'offended' the new 'literally'?

The prejudice against religion on MN is so depressing. If some of the things people say about people with religious beliefs were said on the basis of race, sex or disability posters would have their arses handed to them. But if it’s religion it seems the nastier and more facetious the comment, the “cooler” the poster seems to be.

How the fuck would someone be offended by being prayed for? Agnostic here, btw.

Why is it offensive?

I am also an Atheist but come from a religious family (Jewish, Catholic and cofE so a whole host!). I was also raised Atheist by lapsed parents but my Grandparents regularly tell me I’m in their prayers. It really means nothing to me but keeps them happy, I can’t see what is remotely offensive about it.