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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being prayed for

605 replies

BuckingFrolics · 22/04/2019 09:17

I'm an atheist and my DM knows this - indeed she and my DF raised me as one. She "found god" when my DF left in my early teens

She says she prays for me.

AIBU to tell her to stop, as I find it offensive?

OP posts:
birdflyinghigh · 25/04/2019 20:49

Walking, the Bible talks of praying without ceasing and Christ being in people. Here:

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 King James Version (KJV)
"16 Rejoice evermore.
17 Pray without ceasing.
18 In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you."

Romans 8:100*
"And if Christ be in you..."

So, I don't know how I am wrong in terms of my understanding of prayer. Yes, not all thoughts are prayers. We get fleeting thoughts which we dismiss. However if a person is Christian, and believes Christ is in them, then all thoughts occur with the realisation that He is there as an audience. What else is the definition of private prayer? So praying becomes interchangeable with a focussed kind of thinking with the recognition that God is witness to it, in practice for someone of Christian belief. To say I am praying for someone just underlines that I have the belief that God hears my focussed thoughts/prayers and that I think or pray with this recognition.

Hushnownobodycares · 25/04/2019 20:50

In all my decades of church going I never heard praying being equated with just thinkin' or that God is so deeply embedded in us we don't have to go to the trouble of addressing him directly.

That's quite a leap. Does it mean the interminable prayer meetings are now redundant? Grin

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/04/2019 20:58

birdflyinghigh, not saying your wrong. Just pointing out that most people use the word pray to mean something different than how you are using it.

Obviously under your definition there would be nothing you could do to not pray for people. Although not sure the word 'praying' is needed in your situation given you are saying all your thoughts are streamed live to god in real time.

birdflyinghigh · 25/04/2019 21:03

Walking, Hush, it's just how I understand it. I don't see how it can be any other way if a person believes Christ is in them.

birdflyinghigh · 25/04/2019 21:06

That's quite a leap. Does it mean the interminable prayer meetings are now redundant? 

Well, yes, and no. There is something special about everyone praying the same thing together at the same time. The experience is magnified. So that is the no. The yes, is because with the belief God is actually in you and therefore witness to every thought means all thoughts can be addressed to Him.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/04/2019 21:21

birdflyinghigh
That's where the confusion/conflict comes in, as most 'christians' or christian churches (never mind other religions) seem to have a different opinion on what their belief means. If only god was a better communicator then we wouldn't have all these problems.

birdflyinghigh · 25/04/2019 21:30

We've got to be prepared to 'listen', Walk. It takes time to do that and appreciate fully. We experience and learn. We are all different and learn to do this differently at different rates. It's akin to learning a new language.

Elphame · 25/04/2019 22:14

@NunoGoncalves But I am not an atheist. I have my own deities. It's an exact comparison from my point of view.

I see none of the Christians in this thread have replied.

birdflyinghigh · 25/04/2019 22:19

I did @17.10 Elphame. I said this:

I might not like it but would accept if that were your habit you might do it if you were close to me.

Passtherioja · 25/04/2019 22:23

Just treat it the same way as if she were saying "I'm thinking about you." My dad was very poorly recently and a number of people told me they were praying for him and me -regardless of my belief it's the thought that counts.

Elphame · 25/04/2019 22:57

@birdflyinghigh thank you. Sorry I missed your post.

No I wouldn't pray for you unless you asked me to. I respect others religious beliefs or lack thereof.

Any other Christians care to reply?

justarandomtricycle · 25/04/2019 23:40

What nonsense, it most demonstrably can hurt them and they certainly haven't given consent. You are abdicating responsibility for your actions, as if you are saying I am not punishing them I am handing the matter over to the local sadomasochist to decide. That excuse went out with WW2.

This doesn't make the slightest bit of sense. In the comment this was a reply to I said I can see how discussing it with the target of your prayers could be antagonising, but how can praying for someone's benefit in itself demonstrably harm them?

How are sadomasochists and ww2 remotely relevant here?

justarandomtricycle · 25/04/2019 23:48

*OK - question here for the Christians who would pray for me whether I want you to or not.

How would you feel if in return, I was to pray to Lord Lucifer, the Lightbringer on your behalf?*

I'd feel sad for you, and since you would be using the language of my religion to imply your malevolent intent, this would not lack the positive, friendly overtones of someone of my, or a different religion praying in good faith for eg a speedy recovery from illness.

justarandomtricycle · 25/04/2019 23:48

This would lack*

justarandomtricycle · 25/04/2019 23:51

I think quite a lot of Christians would pray for you to be safe from harm if you did that, too, which you would expect from a few religions if you said you were going to pray to the personification of evil from their scriptures.

NunoGoncalves · 26/04/2019 00:11

But I am not an atheist. I have my own deities. It's an exact comparison from my point of view.

There is a religion that sees the Christian god as the pure embodiment of evil?

ddl1 · 26/04/2019 00:21

Speaking as an atheist, it depends really. If it's for your general welfare, or something like recovery from an illness, then I wouldn't mind; it's well-meaning, and can't harm you. If she says it as a means of trying to convert you, then it's a bit more presumptuous.

birdflyinghigh · 26/04/2019 06:57

If she says it as a means of trying to convert you, then it's a bit more presumptuous.

People cannot be 'converted' against their will, though, according to Christian belief. It's something people have to choose. So no need to worry on that front.

Alsohuman · 26/04/2019 10:27

@birdflyinghigh, as an agnostic I’m not a fan of organised religion but your patience here is one of the best advertisements for Christianity I’ve ever seen.

GottenGottenGotten · 26/04/2019 10:37

People cannot be 'converted' against their will, though, according to Christian belief. It's something people have to choose. So no need to worry on that front

It's a shame that doesn't stop people from trying.

Hushnownobodycares · 26/04/2019 11:08

People cannot be 'converted' against their will, though, according to Christian belief

But they can be approached and badgered witnessed to unasked for with that end in mind.

Elphame · 26/04/2019 14:08

@justarandomtricycle

But my Lucifer is not your Satan - and I've already said I do not pray for others without consent ( actually I don't pray anyway) so no malevolent intent there.

You wouldn't like it though. That's how I feel if someone sends up unsolicited prayers for me.

@NunoGoncalves You are conflating religion with beliefs here. I have beliefs but I follow no religion.

birdflyinghigh · 26/04/2019 14:36

Alsohuman, thank you, that's very kind of you to say so.

BastianBux · 26/04/2019 15:28

If your Lucifer that you pray to is not the Christian Statan, as in evil and malevolent, why would birds be offended if you prayed for them to him?

BastianBux · 26/04/2019 15:28

Sorry, not birds! Blush

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