To smoke in my own garden

[LittleBear4]

I am a smoker. I smoke 10 fags a day and I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day!).

In smoke in my garden, I've got two neighbours either side and one every time I'm smoking will come out and say 'it stinks out here' and will start to cough loudly.

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

You might have the legal right to smoke, but your neighbors have the right to hate you for it.

It's the OPs right to smoke

Yup. And the neighbours’ right to make comment. After all it is their garden.

Stormy76
The anti smoke brigade are out in force today

As if smokers have ever given a fuck.

Not everyone who drives a car HAS to for work

Of course not, but driving is practically vital for living these days and public transport just cannot cope with what it already has let alone if people stopped driving.

That said, I do also take issue with people in big fuck off cars they don't need or those who drive a 3 minute walk on the school run.

Get some ear defenders when you go out and have a fag. People forever find things to complain about - BBQs when they're washing it out, kids playing outside, DIY at 10 to 8, chimeneas, hot tubs and pools, people taking a shower in the early hours. My neighbour smokes skunk every day and every now and again, it wafts over but on the whole he's a good neighbour and that's life living in close proximity to other people.

You're doing nothing wrong OP, your neighbours are rude though.
If people don't want to live next door to other people doing perfectly normal, legal things, then the should find themselves a home without neighbours.

It's ridiculous for people to defend the neighbours being so rude, and even more ridiculous to suggest you smoke inside. You're on your own property, smoke wherever you like! And stop being nice enough to give a fuck about what your gobby neighbours think.

god bless mumsnet. OP, you crack on. outside is quite big, really. i think your neighbours will survive.

all the imaginary asthmatic neighbours with their grey-faced, reeking children and ruined washing will have to navigate the world in their own sweet way.

Can I ask a question about "I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day)" - I've heard various version of that from smokers before, they don't plan to continue smoking forever but are waiting for some point when they will quit.

I am always curious about why/what conditions would be right. I can see if you were in the middle of say, exams or moving house, it might seem to stressful to quit before that done, and I can see why someone would take the decision they want to be a smoker, but it seems so many don't see themselves as someone who will always smoke, assume they will quit one day, but for some reason not yet.

Why? Not "why would you want to quit", or even "why if you want to quit, aren't you doing it now?" more, "why if you are happy being a smoker , do you assume you will change your mind at some point in the future?"

Seems every smoker assumes its inevitable they will stop one day. Even if they enjoy smoking and aren't all that fussed about the negatives now.

The way you worded your OP..I read it as basically, they purposely come out everytime you are smoking just to complain? YANBU if thats whats going on as they are clearly being dicks. If they are already out and you go out and smoke thats a bit different. Its a bit awkward for smokers living next door to non-smokers really. I am 'lucky'. One of my neighbours smokes, and the other is not bothered as most of her family smoke, plus have a decent sized garden anyway.

I feel for you. But depending on the situation, either YABU or YANBU! Cannot say really without knowing if they just purposely come out to whinge.

I'm also one of those annoying anti smokers that doesn't drive or fly abroad...

It's ridiculous for people to defend the neighbours being so rude

Isn’t complaining about an unpleasant smell a perfectly normal, legal thing....?

You are allowed to smoke in your garden and they are allowed to comment on how utterly vile it is.

We live in the countryside and every now and again blow ins will bitch about the pong and noise - sheep smell, horse smell, cow smell, annoying pheasants, cockerels, dogs barking, motors in early morning, heavy logging lorries motors rumbling whilst they wait at temporary lights, motorbikes whizzing past at 6am. 'It's anti-social'. Council just rolls their eyes. Yep, those farmers shouldn't be out so early.

ordinary

Its really sad isn't it. I know a lot use it as an emotional crutch and are waiting until they're in a better place mentally, but that may never happen for some.

I get patients who have been admitted to hospital with exacibation of COPD all the time and the one thing the majority do is still smoke. We have the disabled ones begging us to take them out for one but the majority of us refuse because of time constraints and the 2nd hand smoke thing. I've seen people with actual chest drains in still go outside and smoke. People hooked up to pain pumps etc wheeling them off to go outside. It's a horrible addiction and it breaks my heart seeing my own dad struggle with it. His dad died of throat cancer due to smoking, if that's not enough to stop you nothing will.

COPD terrifies me. If you put a straw in your mouth and try to breath through the straw that's apparently what having late stage COPD is like. Just awful.

Smoking does stink. Ten fags a day means every time your neighbour relaxes because the stink has gone, you spark up another one.

Smoke in your house. Presumably you love the smell and are happy for all your clothes and furnishings to smell that way.

prequelle

Well, I disagree as a none driver it isn't essential or I'd never go out

It makes me wonder what the passive coughers hope to achieve apart from looking and sounding like dicks.

Ordinarysnowflake It's escapism that is stopping me at the moment. I won't go into detail but I've been through trauma that I had no control over and has affected me. I started smoking after that, stupidly I know but it made me think about something else rather than consume my thoughts with what I went through. I hope one day I'll be strong enough to give it up, I'm just not ready to face it yet.

OP, could you try vaping? The smell may be less bad for those around you.

Your neighbours are rude for being passive aggressive and not just speaking to you about it.

Could you speak to them and maybe come to an amicable agreement that's OK for both of you?

Perhaps every other fag you could smoke out the front rather than the back to lessen the impact on them, and they stop commenting and accept you can smoke in your own garden?

It's hard as outside you can't contain the smoke, so it's not nice for non smokers but you have the right to smoke in your own garden.

What about a small smoking shelter or something?

I know you've said you don't want to quit at the mo but what about E cigs? They do smell nice even to me and I don't smoke, and may be a way to cut down a bit and also be helpful to your health too?

Hope that's helpful x

I am always curious about why/what conditions would be right. I can see if you were in the middle of say, exams or moving house, it might seem to stressful to quit before that done, and I can see why someone would take the decision they want to be a smoker, but it seems so many don't see themselves as someone who will always smoke, assume they will quit one day, but for some reason not yet.

My mother said this for years. Turned out, she was waiting til she retired as her few cigarettes a day chilled her a lot when working with people with Alzheimers. Now she has retire,d she has stopped. Literally the day after she retired. Shes now been off them for a couple of months and hasn't looked back. Sometimes, its just not the right time I guess.

I fail to see how it is rude to make comments about a horrible smell wafting into your garden, especially on a very frequent basis. The coughing is probably because they are breathing in second hand smoke and it is making them cough.

You’ve got a right to smoke in your garden; they’ve got a right to be pissed off with the stink of it. Specially on a beautiful sunny, day with just a gentle breeze... I was sitting in my own garden thinking how lovely the natural aroma of the blossoms is.

So, bit of a stalemate really. This old chestnut comes up every year on MN when the weathers nice.

Tbh the main reason I wouldn’t smoke (apart from the fact it makes you stink and isn’t great for you, is that I don’t want to voluntarily pay a fuck ton more tax into the government coffers for them to piss up the wall on Brexit etc. But if other people are happy to do that it’s their issue really. And perhaps keeps taxes down a bit for the rest of us

Applejack5
I fail to see how it is rude to make comments about a horrible smell wafting into your garden, especially on a very frequent basis.

Because smokers have always wanted their own way, and their response to everything is generally "its legal".

10 a day is 50 minutes a day. Your NDN can get over it. And should get over it . Put those headphones on and ignore them, CFs . A BBQ would put out more smoke and for far longer. It's not like you are deliberately smoking out your window directly under an open bedroom window of theirs. It disapates.

I'm with you OP and think they are being PA.

Well for somebody who currently has the fire brigade at thier house with burnt down fence panels, burnt down shed and conifers due to neighbour possibly not putting a cig out properly please be careful.