To smoke in my own garden

[LittleBear4]

I am a smoker. I smoke 10 fags a day and I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day!).

In smoke in my garden, I've got two neighbours either side and one every time I'm smoking will come out and say 'it stinks out here' and will start to cough loudly.

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

OP you have every right to smoke in your garden, and your neighbours have every right to complain about it. It works both ways.

It always seems a tragic irony to me that people see smoking as something that is helping them through bad times, when in fact it is the thing that creates the worst kind of times. It’s a bit like cuddling up to someone who is going to beat the crap out of you later.

My neighbour obviously doesn't like me smoking in my garden, so has erected a basketball net in her driveway. Tit for tat.
Bang bang bang.... Smokey smokey 😂
Who's gonna crack first

Smoking doesn't just affect you though, OP. It affects your children. They have to smell smoke on your clothes and breath, they have to deal with you going off ten times a day whether they're awake or asleep while you smoke, you're showing them bad habits, and most importantly, you're affecting your own health, which could have an impact on your children.
It also affects people around you, such as your neighbours. As others have said, you're not just smoking in your garden, the smoke doesn't stop at your boundaries, it billows into their gardens too, and for non smokers this is awful to deal with. So yes, I think you are being unreasonable to expect your neighbours to quit with the passive aggressive comments.
I'm a childminder and live next to smokers. I have to deal with next door smoking outside their front door as I bring home nine children from the school run, and yes, they get lots of passive aggressive comments and coughing, from me and the children.

Smoking is the most antisocial bad habit there is. I'd rather you fart in my living room daily than do that in the garden!

I think I remember this OP from another smoking thread ...

Anyway, smokers don't realise how much smoking (and you, after you've had one) smells. Being outside does not dilute it.

romany
That's awesome! I guess it depends on where you live? It's a struggle in my town I have to admit. And public transport is very expensive IMO. There's none that starts early enough in the morning to get me to work so that's the time I rely on a lift. It's shite. I don't want to have to drive but life is hard on some areas without it.

I think smokers mostly give up for one of three reasons.

Because they have kids or become pregnant (especially women).
Because they have an adverse health condition so "have" to for health reasons.
Because they used it as a crutch during a period of low mental health such as stress/trauma/anxiety/grief.

If you have had your babies, already have health struggles and the low mental health is not a temporary thing, then I think it's pretty rare for people to quit. Certainly, Sarcy neighbours aren't going to do much.

1. Even though you’re smoking outside, the smoke and its chemicals will seep into your clothes and hair. You will then expose your children to this, which harms their health. Children are particularly susceptible as they are so small and will be in close contact with these chemicals when they are near you or hug you. This is called third hand smoke (links to BBC article).

2. You have a 50% chance of dying prematurely of a smoking-related disease. Do you want your children to go through this? Why not find a healthy way to cope with difficult feelings, such as exercise?

3. Your neighbours are not being unreasonable. It smells and the fumes are harmful. They have a right to enjoy their garden too.

all the imaginary asthmatic neighbours with their grey-faced, reeking children and ruined washing will have to navigate the world in their own sweet way.

A comment of pure MN gold. I salute you.

Having a fag in the garden is nothing like the comparisons being given. It’s a very brief smell with little smoke. A bonfire, bbq and loud music would - or often do - all go on for hours.

It would be different if you were hosting the local Pipe and Old Shag Enthusiasts Club events in your yard.

(Non-smoker - no axe to grind.)

Technically YANBU, but having lived next door to a smoker, who smoked in his garden every 15 mins (he didn’t work, so this went on all day, every day), the smell wasn’t actually that bad in our garden, but in our house was horrific! He would happily smoke indoors when the weather was crap, but as soon as the sun shone and we opened our windows, out he came. I never said anything because what can you say, but they are not unreasonable to be pissed off with it.

I remember reading a statistic that children of a parent who smokes are more likely to become smokers themselves, even if the parent doesn’t smoke in front of them. That (after the wish to not pay the govt any more tax) would be my second best reason not to smoke.

Amused by the vitriol. I can't bear the smell of stale tobacco indoors or outdoors, but live tobacco smoke in the open air I enjoy. Ex=-smoker though long reformed!

The problem is when you smoke you have NO IDEA how bad the smell is - it's utterly revolting.

(And this is coming from an ex-smoker who used to not realise - actually no, being totally honest, selfish about it like you).

I am with your neighbours on this one. My old neighbours used to smoke in the garden. It was disgusting.
I dont think smokers realise how much it stinks and how far it travels.
Of course you can smoke in your garden just dont moan when people complain. After all what you are doing is impacting on them.

Having a fag in the garden is nothing like the comparisons being given. It’s a very brief smell with little smoke. A bonfire, bbq and loud music would - or often do - all go on for hours.

But not ten times a day every day, surely?

Smoking is a completely vile habit. One of the worst things in my opinion is when you’re sat somewhere enjoying some nice fresh air and some disgusting inconsiderate idiot decides to pollute the air because they’re so fucking selfish they think they have the right to do what they want regardless of the effect on other people. I wish it was banned everywhere except for smokers’ own houses with the window closed where they can smoke themselves to death without affecting anyone else. I wish it had never been invented. It’s horrible, and the people who indulge in it without consideration for other people are lowlife scum.

Flame me, delete my post, I don’t care, I feel better now I’ve vented.

Also agree with pp it used to come into our house too, It travels, It lingers, It stinks.

Oh yeah YABU by the way.

YANBU

OMG it is a cigarette, one cigarette, the smoke is well diluted in the air

In fairness I think the neighbour is upset not just about this one cigarette but about the other 3,649 cigarettes that op smokes every year, many of which prevent her neighbours from opening their windows and enjoying their garden.

It's a no-win situation. YANBU to smoke in your own garden. There isn't really much alternative for you. I'm sure you'd quit if you could.

But the neighbours are not BU to hate it. It stinks, and will be wafting right into their houses and lingering for a while.

I'd dislike living next door to you. I wouldn't say anything, as I imagine that being a smoker is even worse than living next to one. I guess I would be glad that you only smoke ten a day, but it would probably seem like more than ten to me!

YABU. I've lived next door to smokers, and it is vile - seeps into my house too. I couldn't enjoy being in may garden either (was tiny - o space to move away from the waft).
Just give up. You are selfish, and it's bad for you.

Smoking is the most antisocial bad habit there is.

You've never had to live next to alcoholics or hardcore drug users. Oh, god, I can still hear the trance music at 4am in my head.

You cannot use air fresheners of any sort on MN, either, they are Satan's minions, all of them! You must just open a window, even if it's blowing a gale and 10 below.

Waits for the next BBQ/chimenea thread. We've already had a hot tub one and a DIY beginning at 10 to 8 on a bank holiday - call the council! Report!

When your ndn shouts “it stinks out here” shout back.
“It’s worse for me i’m Inhaling the fucker.” 😁😁😁

Someone started a post asking why do people smoke outside their front? I wonder if this is why!
Maybe they have kids playing outside or they don't want it going in the neighbours garden. I was going to suggest it to the op but the poster of the other thread said that is annoying too

It’s her garden she can do what she wants in it, a her neighbours are exercising their right to whinge.