To smoke in my own garden

[LittleBear4]

I am a smoker. I smoke 10 fags a day and I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day!).

In smoke in my garden, I've got two neighbours either side and one every time I'm smoking will come out and say 'it stinks out here' and will start to cough loudly.

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

And OP, I managed to quit 2.5 weeks ago, after being ridiculously addicted for nearly 25 years. I’d managed to quit twice before and it was torture both times, but with new vaping systems it’s been so much easier this time. I’ve already saved over £200, which is nice :)

If you want to quit and want some advice on what to get (as its so blooming confusing now) drop me a message away from the judgy twats, and I’ll let you know what worked for me.

Until then, enjoy - I would love to go and sit out in my garden and have a cigarette right now but I’m determined not to start again.

As for the person who thinks you’re spending 15 mins out there per cigarette... 😂

Yes the smell isn’t pleasant but it only lasts five minutes at a time. I’d rather have a smoker next door than someone blasting house music for hours on end.

*Thing is, the smell doesn’t just magically disappear after a few minutes. It seeps into clothing, curtains, cushions, rugs etc. My MIL never smokes inside her house but when we get home from visiting her, we can smell it on the clothes we packed. She drowns herself in perfume (either to cloak the fag smell or because she just uses too much because her sense of smell has been damaged by the fags).

If you truly believe the smell dissipates after each fag and don’t want to smoke in the presence of your DC, why don’t you send them outside each time you smoke?? Oh, wait...*

Is this a serious response?

Have people stopped understanding the difference between indoors and soft furnishings and a bloody garden?

I blame those outdoor sofas.

Can't you just go inside/shut your windows for 10 mins whenever they light up? That's what I do - problem solved.

Op, just to save arguments I would buy a little smoking shed (it is the start of hopefully a lovely spring/summer after all). You can probably get a second hand one from Gumtree or the FB selling sites are good. I think that would be good, would just stop it blowing right into their house.

My next door neighbour's vape/smoke and if I am standing talking over the fence I can smell that. I don't particularly want to inhale any second hand chemicals from anyone. We already live close to a busy road. Ideally I would up give compleatly, for the kids and for you. Maybe slowly cut down. 9 a day for 9 weeks then 8 a day for 8 weeks, then 7 a day for 7 weeks... maybe then you can get down to 5/6 a day and be happy with that for a bit before moving on to just 4 a day etc...you will get there!

My ndn smokes outside but in their sort of alley by the side of the front of the house. It never gets into the back gardens. His wife is a neat freak and a runner and I imagine she has insisted.
I appreciate that.
I watched my mum die slowly and horribly of lung cancer [yes, I am going to lecture you. Live with it]. She gave up in her late 70s having smoked since she was 13. It gave her extra time with my daughter (her 5th grandchild). So I know about bloody smoking.

Op you are entitled to smoke in your own garden. But the neighbours are perfectly entitled to comment that it stinks - it does. The neighbours are not being rude just stating a fact. The fact is that non smokers do find cigarette smoke smelly and disgusting, we are entitled to voice that opinion as much a smoker is entitled to smoke!
If you are going to do something as anti social as smoking then putting up with a few passive aggressive comments are really the least of your concerns to be honest, you'll have a lot more than that to worry about in a few years if you carry on smoking.

@Ellapaella nails it.

It’s not as though you don’t know it’s anti-social and a health hazard for everyone around you.

Smoke in your garden but don’t expect everyone to be happy for you.

Really @BelleSausage ???
RTFT!!
So yes, OP. YABU. If you spend 15 mins outside everyday having a fag then that is 2 and a half hours a day that your neighbours have to put up with your stinky smoke. On a sunny weekend like this that is antisocial

It's 10 cigarettes at 5 mins each = 50 minutes. In HER garden, not the neighbours garden.
She's not playing loud music for hours, it's not a BBQ or fire that puts out far more smoke for hours on end.

"Just reply back - "not as much as your attitude" each time.

You have every right to smoke in your own back garden"

If the OP has every right to smoke in her garden, @CantStopMeNow, then her neighbours have an equal right to make whatever comments they want about it in THEIR garden!

Can you smoke outside the front of your house? I wouldn't comment but I wouldn't be able to stop coughing, it would be unfair to have me constantly taking my children in and out all day to accommodate someone else's smoking.

I smoke in my garden. I go to the far end. There are 4 houses that run along one side of our garden to give an idea on how long it is, there's nothing on the other side of our back fence that end and I avoid times when next door (that run alongside) are down that end of their garden. I still feel guilty but try to be considerate.
I do think you should make an effort to be away from neighbours open windows. We had a ndn that smoked weed on the balcony next to ours before and summers were awful.

You might also find it quite unpleasant to have to put up with people cooking curry, or people cooking bacon, or people chanting meditative syllables, or people playing music or mowing the lawn or drilling holes or getting their tits out or trampolining or having a domestic.

Yeah well its highly unlikely that people are doing these things 10 times a day, 365 days a year

Start smoking 50 a day and stand closer to their fence. Take up cigar smoking too, lasts longer.

Yanbu to smoke in your garden. Your neighbours anbu to pass comment on the smell. I think 10 times a day is a lot. Cigarette smoke stinks whether you like it or not

If you don’t like the comments , smoke elsewhere

@OffToBedhampton

Gosh, I seem to have touched a nerve.

Smoking is bad for your health and anti-social. Just because the facts don’t suit you is no reason to have a tantrum.

OP can smoke in her garden if she likes but it doesn’t change the fact that her neighbours have every right to be pissed off by it.

And 50 minutes of anything every day of the year is antisocial.

at the "have you had a BBQ if so then you're just as bad" comparison.
That'd only be a comparison if you lit the BBQ 10 times a day, every day!
YABU - as someone who has a tiny garden if neighbours come out to smoke it carries over and absolutely stinks.
If you're doing that 10 times a day no wonder they're getting pissed off, especially in this weather if they can't enjoy sometimes sitting out!

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

Not half as much as asthmatic me would hate the passive smoke.

You value your kids wellbeing over your neighbours wellbeing. Understandable. They value their wellbeing more than that of your kids. Equally understandable.

I would just suck up any negative comments from the neighbours as the price you pay for not smoking over your kids and forcing other people to inhale your fumes instead.

In her garden not the neighbours garden
If you were next door to me, it'd be in my garden too as they're that small it'd waft over.
Stood in the kitchen the other day with the back door open, ndn's smoke started wafting through the house. Urgh.

@BelleSausage
Have you just told me I'm having a tantrum because I have a different viewpoint to you??? How patronising of you.

I corrected your previous post as it contained such a misrepresentation of events. It'll get very boring if we all have to repeated correct every misrepresentation in each of your posts 🤐

The reason many PPs are replying as they are, myself included, is because it's horrible to read such intolerance on here. And bellesausage your posts are the most exagorating and intolerant ones.

"Take up cigar smoking too, lasts longer."

See, that wouldn't bother me, @Lichtie - imo cigar smoke smells nice - it's a smell I like - whereas cigarette smoke has far more different chemicals in, smells horrible, and makes me nauseous.

"I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all"

Serious question, @LittleBear4, but have you tried? It might make enough of a difference for your neighbours - or it might mitigate the problem for them a little bit, and would be easy for you to do.

Intolerance is not about criticising the antisocial habits of others. Being a smoker is not a race, sex, religion or creed. It is an unhealthy habit.

And tolerance does not have to stretch to something that is habitually affecting your day to day life. I don’t mind my neighbours cutting patio stones one weekend a year. I would be fucking livid if they did it everyday.

So, no. People don’t have to be tolerant of habitual nasty habits that negatively affect them.

Unless you shower, wash your hair, brush you teeth and change your clothes after every fag you are still inflicting it on your children. They are not unreasonable to be fed up with the stink and chemicals being forced on them if they want to be outside or have a window open.