To smoke in my own garden

[LittleBear4]

I am a smoker. I smoke 10 fags a day and I'm not planning on giving it up yet (one day!).

In smoke in my garden, I've got two neighbours either side and one every time I'm smoking will come out and say 'it stinks out here' and will start to cough loudly.

It's really getting on my nerves, I can't move down the end of the garden because it's tiny and would make no difference at all but AIBU to hate the passive aggressive comments when I'm smoking in my garden?

@Absofrigginlootly it’s about 90 seconds not 30 mins

Thing is, the smell doesn’t just magically disappear after a few minutes. It seeps into clothing, curtains, cushions, rugs etc. My MIL never smokes inside her house but when we get home from visiting her, we can smell it on the clothes we packed. She drowns herself in perfume (either to cloak the fag smell or because she just uses too much because her sense of smell has been damaged by the fags).

If you truly believe the smell dissipates after each fag and don’t want to smoke in the presence of your DC, why don’t you send them outside each time you smoke?? Oh, wait...

Why would you think you have the right to police what they can and can't say in their own garden?
Same applies for her smoking, if she wants to smoke in her back garden she will...

Yes, and they are simply stating the fact that it stinks. Which it does. They aren't stopping her.

Each is impinging on the other's enjoyment of their garden.

It said remote island, not farm!

How do you think many people on remote islands make a living

I'm standing outside in a very remote place just now. It smells a bit sewer-y. But we are downwind from a farm.

How do you think many people on remote islands make a living

Catching the wind in jars and selling it to stupid people

I’m one of those who hates the smell of fags, but I’m not a hypocrite; I like to enjoy a glass of wine and I drive my car. I also don’t like PA type comments, so I’m inclined to side with the OP curiously enough.

I’m sorry you have trauma to process, OP, I’m also coping with traumatic memories from my past. I didn’t take up smoking but I did start to drink to excess, so I get how smoking could become an emotional crutch.

I don’t know anything about smoking so I can’t give advice there, but there is support out there and I hope you’re accessing it.

I can't have my front door open because of someone exactly like you. If you KNOW it is affecting your NDN, THEN SMOKE SOMEWHERE ELSE 🤬

It's your choice to smoke they do not choose to passively smoke because of it. I can't stand the smell my parents both smoked for decades. Now my dad still smokes my mum no longer does since they separated. I personally hate going out my front door when neighbours smoking on the door step. Hate even more seeing dozens of fag ends littering the front.

Do people honestly have no sense of proportion? I know this is MN, where posters have asthma attacks if someone lights up in the next town, but some of the pps have made me laugh.
I am not a smoker, and I agree that the Op has as much right to smoke in her garden as the neighbour has to complain about it.
However, the hyperbole and frothing on here is hilarious. Do people HONESTLY think that their children will be harmed if they are 'exposed' to the odd waft of dispersing smoke every now and then? Or are they simply unable to react in a sensible way to a minor risk?

That’s true, Tricia I don’t get why some smokers leave their fag ends on the ground. But there are inconsiderate arseholes everywhere, leaving dog poo on the pavement, drivers that think they own the road.

I've never smoked. My husband doesnt smoke either and I've two young kids. But I think posters reactions on here are ridiculous. YANBU. Of course you can smoke in your own garden! I'd never in a million years complain about my next door neighbour smoking in their garden. Absolutely no different from fumes from cars etc.... you are outside in open space stop being so uptight you dont have total rights over airspace!! A tiny bit of cigarette smoke is not going to do any more damage than any other type of air pollution which is all around anyway. Unless you live deep in a nordic forest or something!!!

@Kaleela why would you wanna leave your front door open? Is this a thing???

@BattenburgIsland gosh you sound sane and nice!

I would hate to live next door to you. I couldn’t bare having to smell that in my garden. I cough and wave the smoke away when some inconsiderate fucker walks past me smoking and I get a face full 🤮🤢Do you know how bad it is for a non smoker?

YABU. Do yourself and others a favour, and give up.

I’m a non smoker who hates the smell of smoke but you’re in your own garden, not much they can do. My neighbour used to smoke in his garden, sometimes I could smell it but what could I do, his own garden, his life so not my problem.

You're both bu and nbu! They can moan and you don't have to like it. Is a bit shitbag PA though.

I'm puzzled, both my neighbours smoke, they time their cigs so they are out at the same time and talk across my back garden. It smells a tiny bit smokey for about a minute or so if I've got the door or Windows open but then it's completely dispersed. Never experienced the waves of smoke that stinks my house out forever like some on here. Weird!

Yanbu as it's perfectly legal but it is very annoying. Our neighbour 3 doors down smokes outside of his house at the front and it wafts in at night through our bedroom windows, it stinks. Was particuarly infuriating when DS was newborn and I could smell it every time I woke up with him.

Our neighbour smokes and I hate it :( I've never said anything, we just go back inside and shut the doors again. It is frustrating though particularly in this weather than we can't enjoy our own garden or have the dining room doors open because every hour smoked wafts in.... she probably thinks we're PA for shutting the doors whenever she's out there, but it's horrible to have your house smell of smoke when you don't smoke!!

Smoking is a nasty, disgusting, anti-social habit. It is one of the most selfish things that anyone can do socially.

But smokers are addicts and any addict can bare to hear they object of their addiction criticised because they know deep down that they aren’t in a damaging relationship.

Smoking is unnecessary. No one needs to do it. It doesn’t add anything to anyone’s life. It only takes away health.

So yes, OP. YABU. If you spend 15 mins outside everyday having a fag then that is 2 and a half hours a day that your neighbours have to put up with your stinky smoke. On a sunny weekend like this that is antisocial.

I would hate to live next door to you. I couldn’t bare having to smell that in my garden. I cough and wave the smoke away when some inconsiderate fucker walks past me smoking and I get a face full 🤮🤢Do you know how bad it is for a non smoker?

Alright, princess!!

Jesus. The reason I have an amazing relationship with all of my neighbours is because I never moan about their fags, kids, trampolines, DIY etc etc. As a resulteam my life I'd happy and peaceful and my neighbours are always there to have a chat with and help out if I get stuck with something.
Why can't people just relax and calm down a bit? I don't own the air in my garden.

Right or wrong re: smoking in the garden, please don’t think your children are “safe” because you’re not smoking in the house. They’re not. Studies have proven this. The toxins from smoking stick to you. It’s called third-hand smoke, and it’s dangerous to children’s developing lungs. It’s also been proven to cause reading problems later on, apparently. www.telegraph.co.uk/news/health/children/4126202/Parents-who-smoke-only-in-garden-may-still-harm-children-doctors-warn.html

I'd like to know what's so special about your children that you don't want them to breathe in your smoke but everyone else's kids can

The stupid is strong in this thread, isn’t it?

Smoking indoors in a confined space is very different from smoking outside. Indoors chemicals attach to walls, soft furnishings etc etc. This is why the smoking ban was on indoor places, as discussed previously, yet you managed to misunderstand that too.

Smoking a cigarette takes a few minutes, it’s not comparable to bbqs and bonfires and hours of loud music.

This reminds me of people who have baby on board signs on their car, but drive like twats. Because their children are so precious we must all be extra careful but everyone else's are so worthless we should drive like maniacs...

🙄 Baby on board signs are not to encourage safe driving. You should be doing that anyway. It’s to alert emergency services to the presence of a baby in the vehicle.

The stupid is strong in this thread, isn’t it?

Yep!